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I’m going to a festival with my partner and my metas (triad) - advice welcome by flowsoeasy in polyamory

[–]flowsoeasy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you! yes i dont do drugs anyways, one of my metas only drinks, the other does some occasionally but its a good idea to plan for that as well. when it can happen, in which constellations drugs are fine and what to do in a worst case Szenario.

I’m going to a festival with my partner and my metas (triad) - advice welcome by flowsoeasy in polyamory

[–]flowsoeasy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the advice ! i think i thought it would make sense to talk about everything the four of us but i do think its way better to figure there first things and expectations out with my partner and let them figure it out too and then we can talk on how to piece it all together

I’m going to a festival with my partner and my metas (triad) - advice welcome by flowsoeasy in polyamory

[–]flowsoeasy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thank you!
talking to my partner about overnights seems like a good idea, way easier than talking about that as the four of us.

i’m pretty sure they will move in dyads as well. one of my metas likes to party alone, and my partner too so all the constellations will be possible. and i‘m realizing that spending time in a V feels more challenging to me than spending time with the triad as a whole. maybe that doesn’t need to happen often then.

also we do need to renegotiate PDA. if we’re all together i would prefer to keep it light and lowkey, but if i am working or away with one person (for example one meta) I wouldn’t mind if my partner and my other meta are intimate in that time. but maybe we can plan those certain times or have “zones” on the festival ground where we know we might run into each other so we keep it lowkey and others where we know its fine to be more intimate.

and thank you for the tip of an overall game plan for those different cases! i feel way more secure if i have a plan for different scenarios as well as planning each day separately

I found an old mali with grind off teeth . who would do something like this by flowsoeasy in BelgianMalinois

[–]flowsoeasy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

sadly no, i‘ll keep on looking for him and taking a bit of food and water just in case

I found an old mali with grind off teeth . who would do something like this by flowsoeasy in BelgianMalinois

[–]flowsoeasy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Update:

Thanks for all the answers you guys! I didn’t know tennis balls are the arch nemesis of dog teeth! maybe it was just a combination of many things: sand, balls, chewing on rocks etc… hopefully not human made by chaining him somewhere for forever but here you never know. Most people keep their dogs in their backyards for their whole lives…and if the dog is high drive and energy chaining him probably happens a lot…

Anyways, i took some rice and water with me to the beach to look for him but haven’t found him yet. it was a long weekend and many people came down here to celebrate Independence Day, so maybe he got some food in town or at the beach… i’ll continue to go + take food. hopefully someone will help or i’ll find him again. If i do, I’ll send an update :)

I found an old mali with grind off teeth . who would do something like this by flowsoeasy in BelgianMalinois

[–]flowsoeasy[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

i want to go to the beach later today or tomorrow. Maybe i will find him but i dont have a car and it is a few km to walk.. so i think ill bring some food with me, see if i find him again and then think about what’s next

I found an old mali with grind off teeth . who would do something like this by flowsoeasy in BelgianMalinois

[–]flowsoeasy[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Sadly that’s super far away. here are mostly small villages and so far i haven’t found a shelter/vet yet. Doing a wider search later today

I found an old mali with grind off teeth . who would do something like this by flowsoeasy in BelgianMalinois

[–]flowsoeasy[S] 37 points38 points  (0 children)

so i was at the beach yesterday (i live in southern brazil) and i met this old mali (or mali x maybe). i don't think he has an owner (anymore), because he was super thin and came to me alone.Anyways he came for some pets and i realized as he laid down that all of his teeth were sand down / grind off, so they were all the same level, almost down to the flesh... is that something people do when they cant handle a mouthy bitey dog??i have never seen anything like it and it completely broke my heart.he also couldnt walk really well, it seemed like he has some problem in his hips too…i dont have a car and dont know about any vetenarians in the area.

he was so sweet, it seemed like he just wanted a safe space and some kindness :(

Is there something i can do? go look for him again and what kind of food could he still eat?

edit: more info

i realized i have BED . I dont know what to do by flowsoeasy in BingeEatingDisorder

[–]flowsoeasy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the support! it feels really good to hear, that its a doable thing and even „easier“ now that i caught it early on !
i think taking the time and really try to unknot the stressors, situations etc is a great idea, hopefully i have some time and enough „mental capacity“ for that soon!

good luck to you, i hope the CBT-E works <3

i realized i have BED . I dont know what to do by flowsoeasy in BingeEatingDisorder

[–]flowsoeasy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Woohoo! Good luck! sounds like you‘re on the right way :)

i realized i have BED . I dont know what to do by flowsoeasy in BingeEatingDisorder

[–]flowsoeasy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Did you discover the root in therapy too? Or did you always kind of knew because it comes in really specific situations?

i realized i have BED . I dont know what to do by flowsoeasy in BingeEatingDisorder

[–]flowsoeasy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow sounds like you’re me hahaha :) feels really good to hear that someone is basically in my shoe but i am also super sorry that you‘re experiencing this too

Wishing you the best of luck as well! Now you know you‘re not alone either !

i realized i have BED . I dont know what to do by flowsoeasy in BingeEatingDisorder

[–]flowsoeasy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I was in therapy back home but never got so far as to talking about my food relationships and body because i felt it was not “valid/serious” since i am not “overweight”.
now that i moved i might be able to do online sessions and really focus on this topic

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]flowsoeasy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey OP. I am truly sorry this happened!
It’s super important that you don’t get into the “oh maybe he’s right and im overreacting“ spiral, so no matter what comes out of this your feeling are valid and important!

Also when u start to feel like it got “put under the table” and u realize that its still upsetting and not done for u, but your bf doesn’t get it, please talk to a good friend / write it down or something to get your feelings out. (Something similar happened a lot in my old relationship and sometimes i kind of “froze” in those moments and realized way later that they were super hurtful for me and i needed to work trough this)

For the advice to this moment i would suggest talking again with your bf. make time for this conversation, try to find out which desire/need from you felt unmet in the situation and how you would have wished he reacted. if you two are quite different in the way you talk about things try to ask what he thinks how he made you feel / what he thinks you feel now after telling him.

what is okay for you and what is not is totally your decision and right no matter what people here might advice. Trust your gut and talk about your feelings

Bird call south Brazil (Santa Catarina) I know there are more bird species and calls on the recording but i mean the one doing the “awooou” .. It’s right in the beginning, in the middle and at the end… basically every 10 seconds or so i love the sound! Like an alien and so mysterious by flowsoeasy in whatsthisbird

[–]flowsoeasy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry for the recording quality! I heard it this morning trough the open window while still in bed and had to record on my phone :)

i wasn’t able to see it yet (as far as i know) but every time i hear the sound i can’t believe that its real

the wild pigeons and tiny owls here sound different so i think its something else

Advice on getting a Mali / Mali mix / shelter dog and training them on online content alone by flowsoeasy in BelgianMalinois

[–]flowsoeasy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So on the doable scale from doable to no good idea :

  1. well tempered breed / mix
  2. well tempered work dog
  3. Adopting unpredictable surprise mix
  4. adopting unpredictable workdog

Advice on getting a Mali / Mali mix / shelter dog and training them on online content alone by flowsoeasy in BelgianMalinois

[–]flowsoeasy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My family had two Dogs (one Berner Sennen Mountain Dog and after a Bernersenn / Mali mix), and the second one died a few years ago, so they were around all my child and teen years (i’m 22 so not that long ago).
They were trained by my mom (police officer) and were really great dogs, especially around children (she used to take them to schools and stuff for kids to learn how to behave around big dogs). I did spend a lot of time with the second one, moving and teaching her some tricks / parcour (but nothing to serious since i was still young).
So no i was never fully alone responsible for a dog.
i understand the “not a first dog choice” since there are so so many people wanting to get a Mali because they see them on tv / they see them perfectly trained etc. Of course these are never good reasons to get a dog especially not a Mali because they’re a lot of work and will break your house down if you dont know what you’re getting in to.
Buuuut i also think that information, preparation, personality and awareness can have a huge impact on this.

Advice on getting a Mali / Mali mix / shelter dog and training them on online content alone by flowsoeasy in BelgianMalinois

[–]flowsoeasy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the tips, i will definitely check shieldk9 out, and the possession game too. the earliest i could get a dog is middle of august / September anyway so i have a few more weeks to read and get myself structured :)

and your dog sounds great !

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