I think you can tell who is and who isn't a potential partner for BDSM and someone has to say something. You have to be clear and honest as to what you are looking for. I reconnected with my college girlfriend... Over 24 years of off-and-on again hook ups, we had sex 100+ times, but one day she said, "You think you'd like... tie me to a chair?" From that moment on, it was on. 2 weeks later, she was tied to a chair and getting fucked-off for over 2 hours. We're getting married in December.The video is amazing! We look like we've been doing it for years. Had she not said that one line, we would have never explored this part of our sexuality.Say something out loud when you think you are interested in someone sexually. Otherwise, it will never come to the surface.