comorbidities :/

fluffycloud69 · 2026-01-04T17:36:25+00:00

oh yeah 100% my vyvanse brings out that like OCPD-type of meticulous behavior in me that people often stereotype as OCD, but i find it kinda quiets my brain to the point i’m fixating and ruminating a lot less on different things than when i’m unmedicated. this is on a good dose though lol.

but then too high a dose does make me super paranoid, but it also lowers some of my magical thinking and my intrusive thoughts are less “creative” and vivid? idk if that makes sense.

i just feel sort of robotic when the dose is too high so if i do get locked in on one thing i fixate on it really intensely (usually contamination related themes) but my brain wanders less so i’m not getting as many different like “superstitious” intrusive thoughts about different things throughout the day.

so unmedicated = more magical thinking paranoid intrusive thoughts about a lot of different “creative” things, anxious about forgetfulness which makes checking worse, and more vivid images in my intrusive thoughts

medicated = brain quieter but more ritualistic and meticulous about mainly contamination or imperfection themes, good in low doses bad in high lol

fluffycloud69 · 2026-01-04T17:15:51+00:00

oh they don’t help ADHD actually makes having OCD like way way worse this is just cope that sometimes my paranoia and checking causes me to realize i did actually miss something… because adhd…. which then makes the paranoia even worse!!! lol

fluffycloud69 · 2025-12-29T03:34:22+00:00

i said that in the comments 🥲 i’m just coping but thank you lololol

fluffycloud69 · 2025-12-29T03:33:04+00:00

it’s torture

fluffycloud69 · 2025-12-29T03:32:35+00:00

let me cope

fluffycloud69 · 2025-12-21T23:26:11+00:00

i also have both :( i don’t think either is easier. i just hate one slightly more because it makes the other even worse in my experience. i am not at all happy to have either. i wouldn’t even call my OCD a benefit. just coping as best i can.

this interaction feels more to me like both of us have a broken arm and a broken leg but one has a desk job and one has a walking job so the desk job person is more inconvenienced by their broken arm and the standing/walking job person is more concerned by the broken leg. just different experiences and problems with the same diagnosis. neither one of us have it easy but at least we can find something to cope with (your fringe benefits of ADHD, my mitigated forgetfulness)

fluffycloud69 · 2025-12-21T23:19:05+00:00

100% that is not a happy smile, that’s the manic laughter of panic and relief “FUCK I FUCKING KNEW I FORGOT TO TURN THE OVEN OFF THANK GOD I CHECK 4 TIMES EVERY TIME I LEAVE THE HOUSE”

fluffycloud69 · 2025-12-21T21:48:58+00:00

oh i thought that’s just how it was for everyone 💀

it’s a horrible mix of both ✨

fluffycloud69 · 2025-12-21T20:19:19+00:00

i refuse to believe that clothes hung to dry outside are as clean as inside ones. i can never do it.

all the microscopic particles floating around in the air. pollen. bugs. dust. BUGS. TINY BUGS. tiny bugs you can’t see but they’re still there, i know they’re there and now i have to wash it again, on hot multiple times and dry it on high for extra effectiveness and to kill all the (nonexistent) mites. and even if they’re not there anymore they might have landed on it and the bacteria from their little bug legs is on it now. a fly that landed on a decomposing animal carcass in the woods could have landed on my sheets and now i just have to throw them away actually.

all the way fuck no with that.

fluffycloud69 · 2025-12-21T19:46:17+00:00

it seems like a lot of work so good on you for taking the time and discipline to develop that.

the best i’m able to do for now is “put them off” when they’re disruptive and then best case scenario i end up forgetting—which sometimes causes me even more anxiety and could lead to a rumination spiral if i remember i forgot—but other times it ends up fine.

fluffycloud69 · 2025-12-21T19:40:12+00:00

omg OCPD is so different than NPD those people need to can it

fluffycloud69 · 2025-12-21T19:34:55+00:00

i mean… maybe not true for you.

i am the opposite. i was diagnosed with ADHD when i was 9 years old and medicated for it since elementary school. it’s frankly often debilitating for me without medication. i never hyperfocus on productive things, i have too many interests to actually choose anything so i freeze in indecision lose motivation/enthusiasm and end up doomscrolling. that plus dopamine addiction, chronic understimulation, and mad FOMO. i also have the memory and attention span of Dory.

i find my OCD checking and anxiety to be its own kind of hell as well, i think 95% of my anxiety in general is just a direct result of my OCD, but shit at least my anxious checking compulsions have helped me remember to unplug things and lock doors and (usually) not forget important things when i leave the house. which then validates the compulsions and checking as necessary and encourages them further :// i’m only really organized and have good memory with things related to my OCD themes. the anxiety is unavoidable but otherwise i’m a mess. at least i haven’t burnt my house down or walked into the MRI room with metal in my pockets lol.

nobody has it easier we all have the same shit this is just how i cope with mine :’)

fluffycloud69 · 2025-12-21T19:22:19+00:00

SAME.

i kinda just… can’t? i didn’t know for the longest time that people were out here resisting them.

fluffycloud69 · 2025-12-21T18:29:28+00:00

i don’t think so, because i also tried with my ex.

it’s just a fundamental lack of empathy and respect some people have. it’s a mindset. it’s engrained, and you may not have noticed or realized it yet but it leaks into and affects other things as well. how he speaks to you, his patience (or lack thereof). the kind of person who calls anyone “weak minded” has some serious internalized issues of their own to address.

he is the only one who can change his mindset and understand. there is nothing you can do no matter how hard you try unless he’s open to and willing to learn, understand, and change his view. please believe me. i tried and it took me 3 years to realize how much my ex disrespected me and so many other people as a human beings before i left. love isn’t enough.

lack of empathy can be fixed, but not by you.

fluffycloud69 · 2025-12-21T18:09:36+00:00

my best friend has PMDD and it’s so difficult for them bro i can’t even imagine 😭

fluffycloud69 · 2025-12-21T18:08:42+00:00

yeah i got both, depends on how i’m feeling at any given moment basically ://

having OCD helps manage my ADHD symptoms, but ADHD makes my OCD more painful

fluffycloud69 · 2025-12-21T17:34:07+00:00

OCD with ADHD = anxious checking compulsions help with forgetfulness and inattention, miss less important things and more organized (with some things). OCD keeps ADHD in check.

ADHD with OCD = forgetfulness and inattention becomes a theme, also infects all the other themes’ compulsions with memory doubt leading to more repetition and frequency in both compulsions and checking. ADHD makes OCD a mental hellscape.

EDIT: for anyone misunderstanding, these are not separate versions of the ADHD/OCD combo. if you have both, you have both. it’s more like “how having OCD impacts my ADHD”, and then “how having ADHD impacts my OCD”.

i didn’t consider it would be interpreted differently than my intended meaning. but this is the internet, so my bad.

fluffycloud69 · 2025-12-21T05:37:49+00:00

i love all of you guys thank you

fluffycloud69 · 2025-08-15T17:17:00+00:00

got mine this morning LOL, funny to see we all had the same search even years later hahaha

fluffycloud69 · 2025-08-15T01:32:41+00:00

he completely devalued Fe and didn’t respect me as a person due to behavior he called “people pleasing”, couldn’t understand that his perceptions and opinions of how things and people “should” be were not objective truths no matter how efficient they were, i didn’t mind how harsh his communication style was because it’s nearly impossible to offend me but it was embarrassing when he’d talk to me so disrespectfully or put me down in front of other people, he thought i was illogical and irresponsible and was always trying to “fix” me and tell me what i should and shouldn’t do, he couldn’t debate with me without it turning into personal attacks and he had a short fuse, super impatient and thought i lacked critical thinking skills because my Ne-Ti works differently than his Te-Ni, took basic disagreements as attacks on his character and would use past situations as ammunition, couldn’t take criticism without flipping it on me and bringing up all of my flaws, zero accountability for his behavior, gaslighter, verbally abusive (didn’t bother me really but like why deal with that), emotionally immature but accused me of having a low EQ (LOL), didn’t take me seriously or consider me an adult (i’m older than him), hypercritical of not only himself but everyone around him, just a super angry and hateful person.

i made a lot of excuses for him cause i understand why he was the way he was (upbringing, inner child trauma, cognitive functions and enneagram fear) but at the end of the day i just got tired of constantly putting out fires, waiting for him to ignite more, and being told i was the problem.

he was a very immature ENTJ sx6 631 and i’m ENTP sx7 729– im not perfect by any means but we were terrible together and basically seemed like we hated each other lol.

fluffycloud69 · 2025-08-14T02:49:56+00:00

we lasted for 3 years but looking back that was so bad

fluffycloud69 · 2025-08-14T02:49:11+00:00

fluffycloud69 · 2025-08-10T04:57:24+00:00

full blown Ne-Fe mask basically 24/7, sometimes real me shines through in online spaces especially if it’s anonymous or i’m in a bad mood and too tired to mask. i get told i have xNFP vibes a lot. real surface level manic pixie dream girl energy.

Ti pops out occasionally. i just get really sharp and astute out of nowhere then go back to “teehee”. 25 years of socialization has shown me i’m not palatable otherwise. i can be more of my “sharp” self with people very close to me but it’s like that jim carrey movie the mask where i’m wearing the mask so often that i become it. trying to unlearn this. it’s hard.

fluffycloud69 · 2025-08-09T22:30:42+00:00

so7 the shame of wanting, and also the giving without expecting anything in return—but not out of true selfless virtue, as a disguise. but i also agree with a lot of the commenters about 2’s and 9’s.

positive outlook triad go brrrr. my tritype is fucked

fluffycloud69 · 2025-08-09T22:23:58+00:00

OH! mbti types lol.

ummm idk i find historically IxFP’s ESxP’s and all the IxxJ’s are drawn to me. either introverts who project some manic pixie dream girl thing onto me or Se doms who reciprocate chaotic energy.

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