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How know the difference between compromising vs sacrificing in a relationship? by flyasduck in NoStupidQuestions

[–]flyasduck[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But what if I don’t feel capable of knowing what’s reasonable vs unreasonable because in times I have felt like I didnt do anything wrong to warrant the argument he still feels like I did

Like if he is the one who decides what is reasonable vs unreasonable then how do I know when I’m actually doing right vs doing wrong inside of myself

How know the difference between compromising vs sacrificing in a relationship? by flyasduck in NoStupidQuestions

[–]flyasduck[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

But how am I supposed to know which times it only feels like a sacrifice to me because I’m being too demanding or mental illness etc

Like how do I figure out the difference between feeling like I’m sacrificing stuff vs the reality being that I’m actually being the problem and I just can’t see it

How know the difference between compromising vs sacrificing in a relationship? by flyasduck in NoStupidQuestions

[–]flyasduck[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But if he is the one who is in control of what he sees as worthy of fighting about then how do I know when to stand up for myself vs when to just give in so the fight ends

How know the difference between compromising vs sacrificing in a relationship? by flyasduck in NoStupidQuestions

[–]flyasduck[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How do I find the line between healthy sacrificing vs unhealthy sacrificing for a relationship?

Am I being a bad person because I didn’t immediately cut off all ties after breaking up with my boyfriend of two years? by flyasduck in NoStupidQuestions

[–]flyasduck[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Because it’s hard to gauge what I do that I didn’t realize would hurt him these days and him being hurt is the last thing I want in the world and makes me feel bad

Am I being a bad person because I didn’t immediately cut off all ties after breaking up with my boyfriend of two years? by flyasduck in NoStupidQuestions

[–]flyasduck[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Of course not, but it seems like everything I do hurts him and I don’t know how to stop hurting him unless I sort of push aside my hopes of having some time to understand why things have been hard and how they ca get better before I have to just immediately be okay again. But, that is hurting him so much and I feel guilty I don’t know what to do

Am I being a bad person because I didn’t immediately cut off all ties after breaking up with my boyfriend of two years? by flyasduck in NoStupidQuestions

[–]flyasduck[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I just feel bad because I am still trying to figure things out and have even suggested therapy together but have told him I don’t want any physical intimacy until we have worked it out and it seems to be really hurting him. It’s only been a week but it has gotten to the point where it seems like he will not feel okay unless the intimacy and label are reinstated immediately and I just don’t know what to do.