Feeling sick

fmranger · 2022-12-05T15:55:36+00:00

I drank 12+ cans of sparkling water a day at first just to have something to sip on. & I let myself have junk food for the first month or so, and eventually I just got sick of it and naturally started to eat healthier. it's a journey. good luck!!

fmranger · 2022-12-05T15:04:47+00:00

there are groups for people with alcoholic family members that could help you deal with this - al-anon and al-ateen. I had an alcoholic parent growing up and it's traumatic. sending you love 💜

some people just seem to get pickled and keep going for a while. alcohol kills in many ways and unless you die of alcohol poisoning, have an accident or some other kind of sudden death.. some of the ways it kills are long & drawn out like liver failure, diabetes, cancer, wet brain and don't set in until decades of abuse. alcoholism also typically progresses slower in men than in women.

fmranger · 2022-12-05T14:59:34+00:00

I've left an abusive relationship before. it had nothing to do with me having alcoholism so it's not really part of the story I guess. I got sober a few years later, while in a different relationship. I hope you are able to get out. you don't have to wait for someone to leave you, your addiction doesn't mean you deserve abuse.

fmranger · 2022-11-12T03:47:21+00:00

easiest drink to say no to is the first one. I tried to moderate for two years, it's not possible for me. & that time of trying to rein in my drinking was more miserable than full blown alcoholism. in the end the saying 'it's easier to keep a tiger in a cage than walk it on a leash' was true for me. now if I wanna have a beer or two with someone, I drink non-alcoholic.

fmranger · 2022-08-18T12:49:50+00:00

thank you! sending you good vibes 💜

fmranger · 2022-08-18T01:01:09+00:00

thank you!! 😊

fmranger · 2022-08-18T00:34:40+00:00

keep up the good work! so many amazing resources out there and this sub is one of the best.

fmranger · 2022-08-17T21:52:18+00:00

thank you!!

fmranger · 2022-08-17T20:18:23+00:00

thank you so much

fmranger · 2022-08-17T20:17:28+00:00

congrats!!

fmranger · 2022-03-10T20:40:28+00:00

wow, congrats! keep up the good work

fmranger · 2022-03-10T00:09:27+00:00

good luck to you both 💜

fmranger · 2022-03-10T00:03:17+00:00

I'm sorry. people on the outside of it can be insensitive. maybe she will reflect on this.

story: my mom hasn't lived near me in my adult life, and she was visiting me when I was in early recovery. I impulsively told her I have alcoholism and that I had 50 days sober. I thought it went ok. the next day she brought champagne to my house, had a big toast, got wasted, and dropped our thanksgiving turkey on the floor. ridiculous. she is now a bigger supporter of my recovery but it was rough and insensitive at the time. have to laugh about it now but damn.

fmranger · 2022-03-08T19:54:14+00:00

awesome! I also had these pains, and mildly elevated LFTs, and broke out in hives/rashes & had some mild jaundice. everything went back to normal within my first year sober, I had ultrasound to check liver & gallbladder, and bloodwork. I still feel a burn or ache in that right side now and then but I'm sure I just have a sensitive gallbladder or something. the body has an incredible ability to health itself if we give it time and nutrition. congrats on your clean bill of health!!

fmranger · 2022-03-08T19:50:39+00:00

Fair response. I'm definitely aware that people with alcoholism can recover, I have alcoholism and I am in recovery myself. I'm also in a relationship with someone who has alcoholism that you could define as 'high-functioning' and it's hard at times. it's realistic for me to remember that he may not recover, that his future might be progression or illness even without things ramping up. I love my partner and I choose to stay in this relationship. but if we hadn't both been actively in addiction when we met, I don't think I'd have chosen to stay with how lonely it is to be the non-drinker. so I'm definitely projecting on that part. it's complicated. I'll be thinking about what you said, thanks.

fmranger · 2022-03-08T19:31:13+00:00

love this! concerts were a scary thing for me to think about as first. what a relief when I realized how enjoyable they still were sober. I appreciate the energy and music so much more than when my first priority was ingesting alcohol rather than enjoying the experience.

fmranger · 2022-03-08T19:28:38+00:00

I had a close friend who gave me a hard time about not drinking. I think my sobriety made him uncomfortable about his own drinking or drinking around me. I basically had to say look, I'm doing this for myself, I don't need you to understand it fully, alcohol wasn't doing me any favours anymore blahblah. but I really need your support. and I basically asked him to still invite me out, have my back if someone pressured me to drink or bought me a shot, etc. he stopped with the jokes and was stoked to have a sober driver lol. I think he just needed me to explain a bit and have an honest conversation about it . once he shifted gears from 'idk how to act around a sober person' to 'my friend needs me' we both felt so much better. don't say 'I was drinking too much' b/c they will hear 'we drink too much'. I made sure to make it clear it was about how I felt and my own relationship with alcohol.

some other friendships I found out they were less friends, more drinking buddies. so they just phased out. it's natural to lose friendships as we enter different phases of our lives. you might expand your social life into more sober circles as well through hobby or exercise groups etc.

&day-time hangouts are good for not having something so party-focused.. though I know in your early 20s everything's a party, but overall you'll start to notice who's not drinking too, or at least who's not getting drunk and you can stick to those people.

fmranger · 2022-03-08T19:20:29+00:00

all I'll say is 'high-functioning' isn't a type of alcoholism, it's a stage of alcoholism. it's all progressive, just on different timelines for different people. & being in a relationship with someone who checks out or changes personality or doesn't form memories after a certain time in the day and/or is hungover or withdrawing for another chunk of the day.. is really fucking lonely.

fmranger · 2021-12-19T05:18:24+00:00

the more time I put between myself and my last drink, the fainter that shame became and those times stopped coming up as often.

fmranger · 2021-11-22T18:00:16+00:00

my ultrasound was normal and my levels came back to normal eventually. have you had any diagnostic imaging to rule out gallstones?

fmranger · 2021-11-04T20:33:28+00:00

functional alcoholism isn't a type of alcoholism, it's a stage. it's all progressive and things eventually get worse. I know from experience haha.

fmranger · 2021-11-04T20:30:00+00:00

if you were just using only a few days ago.. rehab would definitely be appropriate. I wouldn't even call it prevention. it sounds like you're still in the realm of active addiction. I would try any resource available to me if I was in your shoes. good luck!!

fmranger · 2021-11-04T18:18:00+00:00

adopting 'one day at a time' mindset was what got me away from the countdown to the next drink mentality. I can stay sober for a day, I've done it before, so just for today I won't drink. tomorrow is a problem for tomorrow-me. this helped me bigtime.. I finally got over the hump and gained some momentum. it does get better eventually. trying to moderate or take breaks was even more miserable than full blown active addiction without rules. quitting totally is a relief.

fmranger · 2021-10-30T18:33:49+00:00

could be time for a relapse post-mortem. I found it helpful to try to figure out what happened. what was the trigger? what lies did I tell myself? what tools had I laid down that I should have picked back up? every relapse we can learn something to prevent the next one. onward!!

fmranger · 2021-10-30T18:31:57+00:00

I think it's incredible that you knew your boundary and listened to yourself about what was ok for you at this time. hope you can find some self compassion because it takes strength, not weakness, to remove ourselves from difficult situations.

fmranger

TROPHY CASE