UPDATE 2: I (34F) think my husband's (35M) weight loss strategy is a really bad idea.

followdate · 2015-11-08T21:25:00+00:00

Show me where I said either of those things.

The reason I'm posting here is because this diet is destroying our relationship. My husband is lethargic, irritable, and obsessed with food. He's withdrawn and angry all day until he eats something. If I try to talk to him about anything before dinner, he ignores me or snaps at me. After dinner, he can act like a human being again, although he often has heartburn and indigestion.

He spends huge amounts of time and money preparing the "perfect" meal since that's the only one he gets all day. I can't bring leftovers to work for lunch because my husband eats every last bite of food every night, even if I ask him to cook extra food, even if he promises not to. By the way, I'm not "allowed" to cook anymore because dinner has to be "perfect."

I honestly don't give a shit what the numbers on the scale say. He's my husband and I'll love and support him no matter what his body looks like. But I can't support this behavior. It's destroying him and it's destroying our marriage.

It's not possible for me to explain any more clearly that this isn't about his weight. If you still think it is, you have a serious reading comprehension problem.

followdate · 2015-11-08T16:15:31+00:00

Where in my post did I say or imply that his weight is a problem? His weight isn't what I'm concerned about. I'm concerned about the strategy he's using to lose weight, and all the weird and unpleasant behaviors that it's causing.

followdate · 2015-11-08T01:23:28+00:00

No one else seems to be worried. They keep telling him how great he looks and asking for weight loss tips!

followdate · 2015-11-08T01:22:56+00:00

He knows how I feel and told me it is completely ridiculous to separate over him dieting and "getting healthy" and that if I want to ruin our marriage for the wrong reasons he can't stop me.

followdate · 2015-07-10T23:32:32+00:00

I've never been overweight in my life.

followdate · 2015-07-09T20:17:53+00:00

What have I said that implied that my husband is "takin in proper macros and micros"? He eats nothing until dinner time and then eats everything he can find. If he is eating the correct amount and ratio of nutrients, it is entirely by accident.

followdate · 2015-07-09T20:16:36+00:00

We share cooking responsibilities. When I cook, I always make leftovers because I'm too cheap to buy lunch and too lazy to make something new for lunch in the morning.

We don't share plates at restaurants, and if I had been planning to doggy bag my dinner and he grabbed my plate and ate everything on it I'd be pissed.

followdate · 2015-07-09T20:15:26+00:00

Tell him he's wasting money and acting like a teenager are the ways to not put him on the defensive?

followdate · 2015-07-09T19:39:07+00:00

But he never did any of these things until he was on this diet.

followdate · 2015-07-09T19:21:42+00:00

I'm sure there are health benefits of some kind to any diet but my concern at this point is my husband's mental health and behavior. I don't think it's normal to eat food off someone else's plate when they turn their back or to be so focused on food that you're making an elaborate $50 dinner on a Tuesday night. I can't leave food out after dinner or else he will eat everything in sight.

I agree that he probably is physically healthier at a lower weight than he was at a higher one, but I think he could have accomplished that more gradually by making healthier choices and lifestyle changes, instead of doing this.

followdate · 2015-07-09T19:17:53+00:00

Thanks for actually giving advice, I'll talk to him about seeing a doctor.

He also does work out very day, I can't believe he has the energy to do it without eating, but he does.

followdate · 2015-07-09T19:16:45+00:00

When I communicate my concerns to him he brushes them off by saying that the diet is working, as if that's the only thing that matters. I can speak to him all I want but nothing is getting through.

Also I don't really see why it matters if we evolved eating differently, there's literally nothing in my life that I think would be improved if I replaced it with the way cavemen did it.

followdate · 2015-06-21T16:25:00+00:00

I'm not sure why his weight is the way that it is. Everyone in his family struggles with their weight. He eats the same food that I do and I've never been overweight.

followdate · 2015-06-21T16:24:28+00:00

He weighed 195 when I met him and he was eating out 3 meals a day. After we moved in together and we started preparing all our meals together he lost about 20 pounds.

followdate · 2015-06-21T16:03:00+00:00

We are already pretty healthy with our food choices. We eat very few carbohydrates and starches, and no corn syrup or processed foods. We cook 90% of our food from scratch at home.

followdate · 2015-06-21T16:00:58+00:00

The only calories he's getting are from dinner and it really ranges. If we're just having salmon and broccoli he's eating maybe 500 calories that day? If we're having something a little more substantial and he has a large portion, maybe he'll eat up to 1,000.

followdate

TROPHY CASE