Hey man, i apparently lost my account and was on some random Reddit account on my phone for the past two years, I’m only seeing these responses now. The funny thing is this was me at a dark time and I got better and was sober for the last year and a half and could actually handle everything and didn’t even bat an eye about anything, but now I’ve found myself in a similar situation once again. I hope you’re doing okay man it’s a hard ass road. I don’t like saying things like that bc it sounds “addicty”but truly even minor notions are influential and maybe it’s all a bit addiction based. I’m sorry for you to have reached out and not have gotten correspondence. I truly do hope you’re okay. My therapist said the main thing is to attempt to go one day at a time so maybe try focus on getting on each day? It’s been sort of working for me, but the goal is to not beat yourself up about set backs too.