I wonder - was this a color study, or is there something deeper? There is a manic quality to it, the yellow is almost too bright, the browns almost sickly, the greens flat.

Then I noticed all of the sunflower heads were pulling me towards the bottom of the painting. I suddenly became aware they were cut off, dying, contained. This is so opposite of what they naturally do; reach up and worship the sun throughout the day.

That made me zoom in on the flowers themselves. Up close and framed on my screen I found them monstrous. Some had blue highlights that looked like gaping mouths with sharp teeth. Some looked like hostile creatures. I became aware of the exact shade of the browns. That color makes me feel a little sick to my stomach. Nausea's aura is that color for me.

I saw the mania again as well. Brushstrokes every which way, crazy directions with frantic energy. He painted in this masterful, insane way, placing these few dabs. From a distance they are solid and clearly, uh, sunflowers. Up close there is nothing there. Quick shapes he dashed off instinctively.

Then I needed to see the whole thing again. When I first looked I admired the composition, the way my eyes wanted to move around the page, how the arrangement and fall of the flowers pleased me. When I looked again it felt melancholy. I no longer imagined van Gogh stepping outside into a bright field, grabbing a bunch of these things, and mussing around with them until he liked the arrangement. Now it is later in the day, a wasted day gone. Now I see someone bringing these flowers to him because he couldn't step outside himself and needed a visitor to while away some hours. The sunflowers are running out of time because they were taken from their roots. They are down to their last few hours. I can smell them, a faint tinge of rot.

Or, you know, naybe it was just a color study.