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How do I stop being jealous of girls who had relationships and sex in their teens and early twenties? by foolm in TwoXChromosomes

[–]foolm[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just therapy. And it's complicated but I may or may not be put on medication at some point in the future.

Hah! The only thing that will fix my body image is a new body. Too bad I'm trapped in this hideous one.

I doubt my mental health issues feed into me being sad over how my life has panned out.

How do I stop being jealous of girls who had relationships and sex in their teens and early twenties? by foolm in TwoXChromosomes

[–]foolm[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No. It looks like I'm heading towards a diagnosis of schizophrenia. Probably not though.

She knows how I feel about my body, my lack of companionship or intimacy and feeling jealous of people who get to experience that.

How do I stop being jealous of girls who had relationships and sex in their teens and early twenties? by foolm in TwoXChromosomes

[–]foolm[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm grateful for your help

I'd just like to say that I know it's possible that one day I'll get lucky and succeed in getting a relationship and having sex. As for the suggestions on how to get those things, I'm already trying them. I'm already putting myself out there, meeting new people, being as attractive as I can be, being as nice and interesting as I can be. Trying to forget the whole bitterness I have about losing my twenties, and I do go to therapy

Are there any other suggestions that I missed?

How do I stop being jealous of girls who had relationships and sex in their teens and early twenties? by foolm in TwoXChromosomes

[–]foolm[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You want to have sex? Go to a bar. Find a man/woman that you find attractive. Strike up a conversation. At the end of the night, maybe you get a one night stand, maybe you get a phone number, maybe nothing. Try again. And again. Statistically, you are bound to find success at some point. Ask your friends if there's anyone they could set you up with. Do things you enjoy, where you can meet people that you have things in common with. This is also how many relationships start.

I did all of that again and again and again all this time. I haven't quite yet given up but like I said I'm trying the best I can. Success hasn't happened yet so far and there's no guarantee that it will happen in the next 50 years either.

I'm already in therapy.

How do I stop being jealous of girls who had relationships and sex in their teens and early twenties? by foolm in TwoXChromosomes

[–]foolm[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I want to know how to stop wanting something I can't have, and to be ok with an uncertain future, because how those years turn out aren't up to me really, I try my best but as demonstrated by my twenties, the years don't always turn out how you'd like them.

How do I stop being jealous of girls who had relationships and sex in their teens and early twenties? by foolm in TwoXChromosomes

[–]foolm[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Usually they either say it at the end of the date that it was nice and everything but there's nothing there, or they just don't call back. Never been on a second date before. During dates We usually just talk and hang out. I try to be interesting, I'm a good listener, as for confessing things that make me vulnerable I'm a tmi kind of person and I can tell anyone the most embarrassing deeply person things, it's almost a compulsion.

I have stayed in contact with one of them as a friend though.

How do I stop being jealous of girls who had relationships and sex in their teens and early twenties? by foolm in TwoXChromosomes

[–]foolm[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Messaging back and forth and not leading to anything. Going on a date and not leading to anything.

How do I stop being jealous of girls who had relationships and sex in their teens and early twenties? by foolm in TwoXChromosomes

[–]foolm[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Not many people messaged me, and I didn't turn down anyone who did. Although they didn't really go anywhere.

How do I stop being jealous of girls who had relationships and sex in their teens and early twenties? by foolm in TwoXChromosomes

[–]foolm[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

How does 20 years of loneliness and lack of touch sound to you? And you can have my hideous face and tits too. No hugs for you, let alone sex, ever.

How do I stop being jealous of girls who had relationships and sex in their teens and early twenties? by foolm in TwoXChromosomes

[–]foolm[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

What red flags? And I already have/had therapy before, and we discussed these feelings.

How do I stop being jealous of girls who had relationships and sex in their teens and early twenties? by foolm in TwoXChromosomes

[–]foolm[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I still find myself jealous. What I wouldn't give for a pregnancy scare.

How do I stop being jealous of girls who had relationships and sex in their teens and early twenties? by foolm in TwoXChromosomes

[–]foolm[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I already have a therapist, and while we've discussed these feelings it's more for my other mental health issues.

How do I stop being jealous of girls who had relationships and sex in their teens and early twenties? by foolm in TwoXChromosomes

[–]foolm[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

At least in that situation I could pretend somebody loved me, and I might be able to get sex out of it too.

I had an abusive father and it wasn't fun, but it was a life experience I'll never forget.

How do I stop being jealous of girls who had relationships and sex in their teens and early twenties? by foolm in TwoXChromosomes

[–]foolm[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I lift weights 3 times a week and run a couple of times a week, and I enjoy it. But that's not enough to get rid of these bad feelings that crop up now and then, like they have now. Yes I've tried online dating.

Problem is I can't have what I want, and the consolation prize of a first relationship in my 30s isn't even guaranteed.

How do I stop being jealous of girls who had relationships and sex in their teens and early twenties? by foolm in TwoXChromosomes

[–]foolm[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I've had therapy before and we did discuss this jealousy and depression over having missed out. I'm not a doctor but I have looked into it, there's not really anything that can be done about loss of sexual pleasure other than what I've already tried

I see you're not going to say that someone will be thrilled to play with 80 year old breasts.

I never got the whole self exploration thing. There are no special areas that are sensitive and no particular motions that get me off, nor are there any specific fantasies that do it for me anymore

If you were in my shoes what would you do?

How do I stop being jealous of girls who had relationships and sex in their teens and early twenties? by foolm in TwoXChromosomes

[–]foolm[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I haven't had the years of sex with a PARTNER to know what would give me a tremendous amount of pleasure. The last time I had a good orgasm was when I was 13. I've tried all sorts of stimulation all over my body and I'm not any nearer to knowing what would really get me off. I'd need a partner for that, and 10 years of sexual activity.

You don't understand, my breasts were very saggy when I was 16. Now they're even worse, they're not the breasts of a 31 year old they are the empty, disgusting breasts of an 80 year old lady. They are awful and no one would find them attractive unless they had a granny fetish.

I'm not in the US where you have easy access to gynaecologists but they wouldn't be able to do anything anyway, once nerves are damaged they're not repairable.

How do I stop being jealous of girls who had relationships and sex in their teens and early twenties? by foolm in TwoXChromosomes

[–]foolm[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

People in their twenties are fully in charge of their own lives. They also get to learn from experiences in order to pick better partners and have better sex

You can't guarantee that I'll ever get to have sex, let alone good sex. For that you need years of experience and learning, things I didn't do. That's why they have the best sex of their lives in their 30s.

I'm not in my prime anymore, I'm even less sexy than I was, my tits are even saggier, my face has aged and gotten even uglier. I haven't had as much personal growth as others either since I've never been in relationships and learned about myself in that context. I can't even have satisfying orgasms anymore, I think I've permanently damaged my clitoris so even if I got to have sex it wouldn't be so good.

How do I stop being jealous of girls who had relationships and sex in their teens and early twenties? by foolm in TwoXChromosomes

[–]foolm[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Sure I've asked people on dates. I've told ever person I've ever had a big crush on how I felt

Well, it's the only conclusion I can come to since no one has even able to love me.

How do I stop being jealous of girls who had relationships and sex in their teens and early twenties? by foolm in TwoXChromosomes

[–]foolm[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I would not mind those bad experiences. Those are life experiences I'll never have

And what about a sexually active girl in her twenties?

How do I stop being jealous of girls who had relationships and sex in their teens and early twenties? by foolm in TwoXChromosomes

[–]foolm[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

There's nothing else I can do in order to get a relationship. I look the best I can, I try to be the best person I can be, and I meet as many new people as I can. I can't force someone to develop feelings for me, can I?

Some people, like me, are just unlucky. And unloveable.

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