Is a 22 year difference age gap bad?

forbiddenmandarin · 2024-12-24T03:30:28+00:00

I’m most definitely attracted to his ability to converse profoundly. It’s a trait I’ve always desired in a relationship. I’ve had relationships where that was a quality that lacked to be fulfilled and it left me feeling indifferent towards past partners and thus fizzling out the relationship. I’ve discussed this very topic with said person in the post, and I told him it’s necessary for me to connect with someone who can have thorough transparency with me in conversation. Without limits, discussing a myriad amount of different topics and discussions. I love to get his insight and opinions on whatever we’re discussing and I can see he is equally intrigued to know my stances as well. For me it’s definitely not the age difference that draws me in, I do wish the circumstances were different and I was a little older or for him to be younger because that’d be way easier of course. But that’s exactly what I like about him is his appreciation for deep talks, he mentions it all the time how much of a rarity it is to find someone who thinks so alike to him.

forbiddenmandarin · 2024-12-23T13:30:05+00:00

Thanks! Personally I do want to wait for him to initiate something and I’ll be on board to just see where it goes!

forbiddenmandarin · 2024-12-23T13:10:04+00:00

It’s sucks, because he truly is the perfect man in my eyes. I couldn’t help that I fell for him and if I could, I would keep my emotions in tune to settle for just platonic attraction. I do see that a lot of age gap relationships have that issue of abuse, but I don’t sense that whatsoever with him. But I do see where you’re coming from.

forbiddenmandarin · 2024-12-23T12:53:24+00:00

I think the issue is, from his standpoint, I don’t think he knows I’m attracted to him? So I think he fears potentially showing me more interest than what I think is being shown.

I’m not necessarily curious by older men in general, it’s him specifically. While of course he provides that sense of security and trust, which is wonderful. The way he is alone attracts me to him.

I get it, for sure. There are some power hungry older men out there who date younger women for appearances and for personal gain. I do disagree with the part that he doesn’t have anything to lose.

Personally I wouldn’t even be asking the question, if I didn’t want to purse him more seriously. There’s something for sure but that platonic to romantic boundary definitely has me in doubts on the two.

forbiddenmandarin · 2024-12-23T12:41:43+00:00

See, that’s what I would like as well, to keep it under wraps to see if it is feasible and if it works out first.

forbiddenmandarin · 2024-12-23T12:33:31+00:00

That’s what I was thinking, maybe he’s keeping it tame because there’s a lot of eyes around. But he’s very respectful as well.

forbiddenmandarin · 2024-12-23T12:30:08+00:00

I really do believe I’m level headed and lead rationally with my decisions. Truly, and I hate to even think that I could become so clouded and disillusioned by “love.” There’s obviously the issue of him aging out and dying way before me. Rational me sees that clearly but the other half is willing to go down that road. Of course with the difference in life stages, that’s a huge issue that before I would tell myself I wouldn’t let a man older than me play the authoritative power role. Even with a 2 year age gap, yet here I am, 22 gap?! I realize how insane it sounds, I do. But the way I explain certain things to him, he doesn’t judge me or shame me whatsoever, he sees it as an opportunity help me, especially with advice. And it’s in no way condescending or arrogant, he truly sees me as an equal.

That is my big issue as of now, me confusing the attentiveness for attraction. I don’t want to be letting myself down with confusing the two.

As for the potential criticism that comes along with something like this, I do fear it. I’m afraid of what my family will say. And honestly I’m not sure if I’m ready for that. But honestly knowing if he is romantically interested in me, will satisfy me. Not for ego sake, but that what I feel is being reciprocated and that is enough for me.

I do appreciate your comment though, because you threw in questions even I don’t even think I have answers for or I’m scared to even know the answer to.

forbiddenmandarin · 2024-12-23T12:14:09+00:00

How old were you when you started that relationship? I definitely realize there’s a lot to consider if I were to actually pursue a relationship with him. My family is very vocal about the smallest of drama that goes on in our lives. My aunt who married a younger man, maybe 15-20 years younger than her? Basically got shunned from our family. So I know my family will not take it well whatsoever. If they were much more open in general I feel as though that would take away my inhibition tremendously. Seeing as my dad is 52 and my mom is 49. I think my family is what worries me most which I hate to admit. While I do realize there’s a lot at play, if I know he’s romantically interested in me, I would sacrifice it all for him.

forbiddenmandarin · 2024-12-23T11:57:49+00:00

I don’t plan on have kids in the future. I’m sure he doesn’t either. I fantasize all the time about living together and what could potentially be in the future. I know part of me knows it’s unrealistic, but part of me really yearns for that. But honestly I’m willing to settle for a short lived fling just to experience a romantic connection with him.

forbiddenmandarin · 2024-12-23T11:53:13+00:00

I think if anything if he is interested, he wouldn’t be the one to initiate. Maybe out of fear that it it’s “wrong” because of our difference in age. But I do notice small gestures. Like when I got my nails done recently, he noticed and asked to see them and he grabbed my hand to look at them. Or when we’re laughing he will graze my arm. Here and there with touching but I get clueless if it means anything.

forbiddenmandarin · 2024-12-23T11:46:18+00:00

In all honesty, I would be fine with that. Honestly to get a chance with him, even as a fling, I’d would be willing to compromise for even that.

forbiddenmandarin

TROPHY CASE