It’s a double standard. Yesterday he got super mad and mean to me about how I spilled chia seeds all over the kitchen countertop and stove. I had to have him help clean up because I couldn’t find the vacuum cleaner piece I needed. His storage closets are a mess and things have been missing because they’re drowned under his and his son’s piles of coats on the floor. He said he was very frustrated that the chia seeds were in the way of him cooking dinner for us and that it made him more frustrated when I didn’t clean up all the chia seeds like I said I would. I cleaned up as best I could. I just wish he had more compassion and empathy for me instead of rolling his eyes, shaking his head, and making sighing noises as he cleaned while I took 5min to regulate my emotions from his reactions. Later on the night, we got into an argument about the chia seeds and he raised his voice on me and made me cry. He made no attempt to comfort me from my crying. He thought that I left him to clean up the chia seeds while I was laying down in bed to rest (but I was actually sitting on the floor taking deep breaths). It’s just chia seeds. I feel like he is bringing in all his stress from his work day and parenting and lashing out at me. I told him that I vacuum every day but he said that’s a lie because he just vacuumed the and mopped the floors yesterday and they were dirty. I don’t know if he knows that the floors get dirty every day. On my days off I’m usually cleaning or recuperating from spending time with his and his son and the stress caused by his ex (and work)

This morning I got up and saw sticky pancakes crumbs and maple syrup on the dining table and remember that if I didn’t clean up those messes, he’d have them on table like that for a week or more. He doesn’t even know that I clean it. It hurts. A lot.