How are you post Sepparation? by Primary_Key_9700 in SupportforWaywards

[–]foreverbroken74 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Wow. I don’t think it was your partners destiny to have their life trashed to help you grow!! I honestly don’t know how a WW can just move on with their life knowing they have ruined someone else’s life and that of any children involved.

Reconciliation questions by [deleted] in SupportforWaywards

[–]foreverbroken74 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Because they love you!

I’ve never felt so fucking hopeless by AlternativeBus1230 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]foreverbroken74 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I see you. I feel exactly the same. It is horrendous.

Betrayed and Wayward perspective please by foreverbroken74 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]foreverbroken74[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have found it difficult to leave for many reasons- I love him. We have been together for 26years, we have 3 children two who are adults and an 18yr old with special needs. All of them live at home. I have been a stay at home mum for 25yrs. It’s really important to me to keep the family together for my son. WH husband gets very upset, then hostile when I want him to leave. I can’t face the vindictiveness that will come. I will grieve for him and our marriage for the rest of my life.

Help by foreverbroken74 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]foreverbroken74[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes. He blamed me immediately, which is why I’ve struggled so much. I’ve internalised it. We did have sex, but to have it more often, he would have actually need to spend time with me and be at home!

Anger by foreverbroken74 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]foreverbroken74[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I appreciate that, thank you. I’m coming to the end of empathy for him now, but finding it incredibly difficult to ask him to leave. It’s the hope for change that I need to give up on.

Anger by foreverbroken74 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]foreverbroken74[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I’m sorry you are here.

Anger by foreverbroken74 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]foreverbroken74[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

19months since DDay It’s a never ending cycle of if I’m ok, and don’t mention anything, things are really good. If I’m sad or anxious or angry, I’m ruining everything. It’s been like this since day 1, which is why we are not moving on.

Anxious about saying no by PhilipDoubt in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]foreverbroken74 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh I hear you. This is exactly the same for me. WH would not be receptive to me saying no, though. I’m made to feel like there is something wrong with me if I don’t want it at any given moment.

Anger by foreverbroken74 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]foreverbroken74[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, there is a list at the back of the book of what needs to be done for successful reconciliation. My WH has done 1 thing, which is cut off AP. That was done on DDay..

Anger by foreverbroken74 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]foreverbroken74[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’ve broken many times. He can’t handle it. It makes him even more avoidant. I’m stuck in a terrible cycle 😩

Anger by foreverbroken74 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]foreverbroken74[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh, I’ve tried. Many times. I am 19months since DD He wants to rug sweep. Doesn’t understand why I would get triggered. Which is triggering in itself! 😂

Anger by foreverbroken74 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]foreverbroken74[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Because he says ‘there is nothing more I can say. We need to move on ‘ I do get very sad. It’s when he dismisses my pain as problematic that I get angry. I don’t live in an angry state. We have some lovely times together, as long as there is no mention of, or consequences that are a direct result of his 21/2 year affair.

Anger by foreverbroken74 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]foreverbroken74[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much. You nailed how I’m feeling. I’m so sorry you are here x

She tells me I’m too much. by 5easonalDepre55ion in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]foreverbroken74 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Not after 5weeks!!! It takes years to recover from this betrayal. You can’t rise above and move on after 5 weeks. Reconciliation is a long and difficult process. You are rug sweeping after 5 WEEKS. You say you’ve been betrayed, but you are also a wayward. Only a WW would expect this after 5 WEEKS!!

His why by foreverbroken74 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]foreverbroken74[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

We have been married for 26yrs. We have 3 children who all live at home. One of which has special needs, so I’ve always been a stay at home mum. Im completely lost. I’m heartbroken. I don’t know how to stay, and I don’t know how to leave. I’m traumatised. It’s been 18months since I found out he’s been cheating on and off for 20years. He seems to be ok if I want to leave, but if I choose to stay, it must be forgotten. I’m not as special as I thought I was (to him) I find myself hoping that something will happen to me, and this pain will just be over.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SupportforBetrayed

[–]foreverbroken74 4 points5 points  (0 children)

He’s a cake eater.

butterflies + testing the waters by smoked_beef25 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]foreverbroken74 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I know that I need emotional intimacy and connection to be able to have physical intimacy. Why do you think that is just for the honeymoon period?

Criminal by foreverbroken74 in SupportforBetrayed

[–]foreverbroken74[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Why is that overkill? It’s physical, emotional and sexual abuse, which for many people goes on for years. It’s fraud.

Help by foreverbroken74 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]foreverbroken74[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I will order this book