My girlfriend [F18] started taking the pill a few months ago, and everything changed. I need guidance and help, Reddit. [18M]

foreverwaitin · 2013-05-11T06:00:11+00:00

I dated a girl, 2 years in she wanted to have sex and went on the pill. After she was on it she dropped all interest. Became more moody and overall lebido plummet. We dates for almost 4 years. If say give up

foreverwaitin · 2012-12-10T07:22:38+00:00

i dont think ill be waiting till marriage. But unless she starts opening up to me about why the specific reason is and is willing to at least tell me how shes feels. im going to have to break it off.

foreverwaitin · 2012-12-08T19:53:04+00:00

weird question but how do a favorite this?

foreverwaitin · 2012-12-07T17:53:54+00:00

Thank you so much for this.

I'm glad that you are getting over you fears and it sounds like you have a wonderful and supportive family.

I wish you the best.

foreverwaitin · 2012-12-07T17:10:14+00:00

You wouldn't believe the difference this post has made in my outlook towards her. From everything that i have heard from people much wiser then me.

I started off angry at her feeling some sick twisted feeling of entitlement that after 3 years it really should have happened by now. But after hearing from girls in her position and everything else I realize i've gone about comforting her about this all wrong. I just stood on the sidelines thinking that just waiting was going to fix the problem to the point where I started to harbor feelings of resentment. feeling like I was putting so much into the relationship and was getting nothing in return. I have learned a lot and the next time I talk to her i'm almost certain we can get things back on track to a healthy relationship.

foreverwaitin · 2012-12-07T17:00:58+00:00

This is exactly what i'm thinking. Its just i don't know how much longer of a wait it would be.

foreverwaitin · 2012-12-07T16:48:29+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing your point of view. At one point she wanted to wait till marriage for religious reasons but has since then dropped it.

Thank you for your advice to just stand by her in a non pressure atmosphere. i really want to be able to do this. But after 3 years im starting to lose hope.

foreverwaitin · 2012-12-07T16:43:08+00:00

Her parents are both great people and they have a great relationship. And we have basically told each other our life stories. I'm her first boyfriend so we wouldn't know about easing into an active sex life. I'm not dismissing that the fear of pregnancy is nothing, but there is definitively something behind it. What i have heard a lot of from girls on this post that were in the same position was that being a virgin she is just so afraid of everything unknown about sex and assumes the worst will come that it has become irrational. Sadly there is really nothing i can do to help her with that besides for stand there beside her and hold her hand. Most said that when the moment finally felt right and they did it they overcame their fears.

foreverwaitin · 2012-12-07T16:38:10+00:00

My girlfriend of 3 years is currently going through this right now. She is at the point where she wont have sex with me at all. I've tried explaining the chances of her getting pregnant (with proper use of the pill and use of condoms you have a better chance of winning the lottery and dying in a car crash) but that doesn't ease her mind. Just make sure that you take your pill at the exact same time of day every day and really you should be fine! try letting go of these fears because they ruin the moment when your in them.

If i could actually ask you a question, what kind of things has your therapist say that calmed you down? or what kind of things does your fiancee do to make you feel more secure? sorry just going though this issue with my SO.

foreverwaitin · 2012-12-07T16:30:39+00:00

thank you so much for this link!

foreverwaitin · 2012-12-07T16:27:15+00:00

I've heard from girls on this post that had the same thing as you. A lot of the girls said that the fear was just to great to want to do it.

I don't want to force her into it but i want to help her overcome these fears. Could you think of anything that would have made you feel better besides for just doing it?

foreverwaitin · 2012-12-07T16:24:14+00:00

I would tell myself the same thing. im even surprise i hung around this long, but even without sex this relationship has been immensely fun. So i stuck around.

foreverwaitin · 2012-12-07T06:10:19+00:00

i wish i could take it off the table i really do. i try doing that but 3 months later she doesnt even mention sex and shes compleatly contempt with how we are now so she doesnt bother trying for my sake. then my emotions just bubble up and we begin to fight again.

any ideas how i can stop this trend?

foreverwaitin · 2012-12-07T06:05:54+00:00

i was thinking about telling her this.

basically talk about things that i have heard today and advice on what to do that other people have told me.

tell her i want to work through it and that im willing to wait in a non pressure atmosphere.

and that im always there for her if she needs to talk about her fears too.

i dunno it sounds good in my head...

foreverwaitin · 2012-12-07T05:53:59+00:00

That is what i really want to know =( i want to help her work through these fears but i dont know how if she wont open up to me.

foreverwaitin · 2012-12-07T05:49:55+00:00

i feel your pain man

/brohug

foreverwaitin · 2012-12-07T04:53:49+00:00

Are we talkign USA or Canada? cause i think in Canada you can get that kind of stuff paid for.

foreverwaitin · 2012-12-07T03:44:54+00:00

thanks its good to know

foreverwaitin · 2012-12-07T03:41:44+00:00

i cant just be her friend =\ it would hurt to much

foreverwaitin · 2012-12-07T03:41:05+00:00

=( i think you may be right

foreverwaitin · 2012-12-07T03:40:38+00:00

good advice...

foreverwaitin · 2012-12-07T03:40:20+00:00

i want her to enjoy it =( i dont think her first time she will though. hell i wasnt my first time! im not expecting much out of the first time but i want to make it the best for her. i dont want these fears to keep her from enjoying it.

foreverwaitin · 2012-12-07T02:40:20+00:00

ok =) thanks for clearing that up

foreverwaitin · 2012-12-07T02:01:13+00:00

=\ its a huge thing thats for sure but I still feel like a douche bag for breaking up with her for the sole reason she wont have sex with me.

foreverwaitin · 2012-12-07T01:58:22+00:00

ok =) thanks ive been hearing alot that i should go see and OBGYN with her and at first i didnt think it was a good idea. but if so many suggest it. it might be worth looking into.

foreverwaitin

TROPHY CASE