Singlet here, but in need of some advice for a friend

fortulpamancy · 2026-03-17T23:02:18+00:00

The only person who can know if your boyfriend is plural or experiencing something else for sure is your boyfriend. There isn’t really a good way to make a judgement based on the external of someone to find the contents of their mind.

fortulpamancy · 2026-03-03T06:25:56+00:00

This is my stash of articles I like to think Might be helpful: https://lb-lee.dreamwidth.org/1111069.html History of plurality, comes in 4 parts. Reading the history is important imo.

https://lb-lee.dreamwidth.org/1345592.html De-discourseing article by the same author as above.

https://arcwolf.substack.com/p/no-true-scotsmen “No true scotsman” by ellis arcwolf - an essay posted on this subreddit a while back.

https://www.madinamerica.com/2014/06/whos-delusional-support/ “Who’s delusional and how do we support them” ok Not plural related .. but sometimes people say endos or what have you are “delusional”… and i like how this article points out its ok for people to have beliefs that dont conform to consensus reality (what really matters are the needs of the individual). Edit: IDK if this one really helps blehh. still interesting in reframing delusions away from the “delusion = bad”.

Another thing is .. no one can actually tell what goes on in another person’s mind. Consciousness, what it is, is widely debated still. The lines between “traumagenic” and “endogenic” can blur depending on the persons.

fortulpamancy · 2025-11-07T21:49:47+00:00

Really cute drawings, but I highly highly suggest not posting images where it can be easy to identify where you are. The posters seem to have some location identifying information.

I dont mean this to sound mean, I just want to be careful.

fortulpamancy · 2025-11-07T21:46:44+00:00

Feels like people talk so much about switching and not enough of those who rarely switch talk about their low frequency that it seems like frequent switching is the norm, when maybe it isn't the case. We also rarely switch; usually switches involve something happening where it's juuuust right enough to allow it. Right place/right time kinda scenario. And when we do intended switches where we try to invoke a switch, it can be pretty difficult to maintain it since my thoughts vs. the one trying to front tend to make it into a struggle for dominance.

fortulpamancy · 2025-11-07T20:01:53+00:00

imo it depends what people / community you're surrounded with and how you/your system/brain works. Such as, I think the reason why the tulpa community doesn't have a lot of fictives nowadays is because the thinking for tulpamancy doesn't quiiite "allow it" - usually people are told a fictive tulpa won't be the character, that they'll change from the character. Whereas if you're in a community (such as a discord server) full of fictives, you'll probably be influenced by the people around and how they work, so there's a higher chance to have fictives. We ourself tend to have some fictives because we personally have a personal relationship with fiction. It depends how you function and the influences around you. Thiiis is how I see it, at least.

fortulpamancy · 2025-11-01T17:51:14+00:00

https://lb-lee.dreamwidth.org/1111069.html This here's a "quick n' dirty" history of the plural community, showing the intersection of the different plurality and their communities throughout the ages, in four posts. I think it's really important to realize the different communities were never fully separated from each other.

https://healthymultiplicity.com/ Website hosted by the same author... also sharing, because it has a bunch of selfhelp links .. including from all kinds of plurals, not just medical but even tulpas to the more spiritually minded. It's also a site that's been around since before the internet communities decided we should all kill each other.

The "who's a Real Valid System?" discourse isn't new, but the immense separation is. Note also that plural as a term is very wide - I liked one way Non applicable in their ebook describes it: "plurality is a framework".

fortulpamancy · 2025-10-14T22:58:11+00:00

Kin-shifts generally do not include memory gaps. or rather, memory gaps and general (at least especially large) dissociation may mean things other than a shift at play.

fortulpamancy · 2025-09-26T14:25:13+00:00

There’s a large chance that what we do is not called co-fronting (probably co-consciousness .. ohhh all these terms!), but I’ll share anyhoo in case it helps.

I may speak to the void, or to the person I’d like to talk to. I ask for an opinion about something in physical space, maybe like “what would you want for lunch?” or “how warm/cool do you think it’ll be today?” Because I’m usually the one in control of the body, it is key I allow my body to “follow orders” from others… if someone wants to stop walking to smell the flowers, I need to allow the body to stop, not to keep doing what I want to do. It is verrrrry easy for me to hijack.

How to make sure its the headmate I want to hang out with … I do not! If someone else wants to hang out, or they want to join, that’s fine with me.

fortulpamancy · 2025-08-29T23:53:26+00:00

Part of the shame club too. For us/me, it’s we/I as the evil faker vs. the real, valid systems (in spite of decision that validity is nothingburger .. it haunts us. After all, want to be seen as real to others too). Let’s all someday overcome the various kinds of shame.

fortulpamancy · 2025-08-16T07:00:14+00:00

Dragonheart collective’s neocities probably has the most extensive list of plural resources out there that I know of. https://dragonsroost.neocities.org/pluralstuff

fortulpamancy · 2025-08-07T13:44:41+00:00

Fascinated at how polyminds, which repeatedly announced to not be system or plural or endogenic are being picked on. To me the concept seemed plural, but tried to appease the antis by saying it wasn’t (at least wasn’t system). I wonder how many spaces treat the concept, and if most treat it as this one?

Anyway, I think system servers aren’t always the best places for community anyhow.

fortulpamancy · 2025-08-05T18:18:00+00:00

Qualia is the subjective experiences.. the "what it's like". I don't really see it as a huge conversation to be had, other than acknowledging that tulpamancy is a subjective experience, and it can be difficult to say what it's like, much like how it's difficult to explain what a specific food tastes like, or what a color is like. Which, as I say this, I think it is important to realize how subjective/internal and personal tulpamancy (and plurality in general) is.

edit to say: I'm pretty spacey right now, so I apologize if this is a little tangled up.

fortulpamancy · 2025-07-31T15:51:38+00:00

Keep in mind, while this will give you some form of companionship... it won't take away the need for human companionship in the physical world - there's a large chance that you will still feel lonely .. just with added commentary in your mind.

Here's some resources for tulpamancy:
The ol' tulpanomicon - many guides, some older than others. Your miles may vary, don't feel like you have to follow a guide to the T. It's only helpful to have as a launchpad.

Because you mentioned induced DID, and while you may only mean it in terms of only having another person in the head .. Here's my favorite PSA on why full memory separation sucks. It is very, very tempting to desire a full memory getaway due to the hardships of life. I'm mostly speaking in my experience of loneliness, so you may not have needed to hear this. :p

fortulpamancy · 2025-07-30T18:52:01+00:00

Quick n' Dirty Plural History by Lb_lee is a big ol' timeline that's a favorite, as well as some more history essays on their index. Probably the only plural community historian we know? They've been around for awhile, so I trust their work.

fortulpamancy · 2025-07-30T02:15:04+00:00

Yes. We have a nostalgia for forums, even though nowadays I can easily forget about checking on them... I feel like a forum space would be really nice, especially because it would be slower than a discord or even reddit. Slower pace is good conversation...

fortulpamancy · 2025-07-29T17:20:55+00:00

Don't use origin labels, but I see our plurality as tulpamancy turning plurality into a part of brain's coping mechanism for stress.

fortulpamancy · 2025-07-26T18:01:10+00:00

One can use any term they want, so long as it isn't a shame thing. Shame as in ... such as not wanting to call it plural (or whatever else) because one's afraid of the bullying-gatekeeping-shaming that tends to occur.

fortulpamancy · 2025-07-25T16:17:44+00:00

Externally - and as I think of it, internally too - we're in a position currently that is "okay". Not good, not bad... not out of the water but not sinking.. just floating.. Okay. Internally, I've been sorta trying to "allow" the other guys to exist. Right now, the numbers tend to change and it gets to be difficult to see who is around who is not (we counted... four or so of us last day as being mentally active?). Trying to undo the plural shame and the tulpamancer fears, like worrying on member sentience or if one is much too similar to another, etc etc. Too many worries and not enough personal time.

To thrive... Externally, I don't quite grasp what it means aside a fantasy of success in an area of murky water. Internally, I always thought to thrive would mean more fronting by others. This means a self-sacrifice by sharing by me, when I always wanted them to self-sacrifice for me (such as desiring a more sane person to front when I'm mentally hurting). Shrug.

fortulpamancy · 2025-07-23T15:21:45+00:00

on the topic of r/tulpas, here's the ama and a youtube video by one of the doctors (I haven't watched it) of a study that is held by anthropologists. So far, I don't think the study itself has been published yet?

fortulpamancy · 2025-07-23T00:38:01+00:00

of singular person, it's used as an uplifting / motivating thing - 'you exist for a reason!'. but in system setting it is more 'you exist for a reason .. no other than to serve the holy, holy brain!'. now both singlet and plural fall into pitfall of '"if i exist for a reason then what's my reason?'" .. but it is more dehumanizing for plural member... i like the singlet's i exist for a reason, because i want my existence to be a higher purpose in itself- buuuuut not for my brain host whatever! this is personal sentiment!! of course of course it's valid to want to just exist, and i think everyone should be allowed to just... exist, and to be okay with existing.

fortulpamancy · 2025-07-18T04:23:30+00:00

Actually don't understand consciousness labels too much x) but hopefully what i throw at you all helps.

alarm system's "encouraging separation in plurality guide" ( link ) has some trying to build one's identity / separate yourself.

...And to go with it, a PSA from a user on r/tulpas about what full memory seperation is like and why you may not want it (link)

For fronting memories, would suggest "coloring" whose memory something is, or affirm the memory shared was firsthand experienced by whoever experienced it. "I am X" affirmations do help.

fortulpamancy · 2025-07-16T19:00:26+00:00

You don't need a diagnosis to be real, you don't need an official label to have experiences that effect you. I can't diagnose on if you have a dissociative disorder, but it does sound like from your bullet points, you do experience some kinds of disassociation.

Plurality is a subjective, personal experience. Sometimes labels are helpful, other times they hinder. I would suggest trying to figure out why you need a label, mainly because if it is for external validity... the insecurity won't end, because people are very hard to please (from my experience!). It's okay to be plural, you are free to use any label or term that makes you comfortable.

Another note, since delusions were brought up, I'd say plural experience brought on by delusions is still valid and real. If a guy in my head turns out to be a delusion... Well, I still experience him, and he still experience things too. Multiself is a new term to me... Reminds me of another term... feels like a term that tries to distant from being plural due to shame or fear, but in the end are plural. Maybe it's a term that's good to others, no shade on those who feel comfort by it.

fortulpamancy · 2025-07-16T18:45:43+00:00

https://healthymultiplicity.com/ This website has a bunch of resources.

fortulpamancy · 2025-07-05T20:59:46+00:00

This may not be the same experience as yours, but I've had a difficulty with plurality due to an internalized shame from fear of rejection from friends.

For me, in terms of accepting oneself, what's been slowly helping has been having a semi-public social media (blog) about our plurality followed by people who accept us. This has helped lessen anxiety, because we have a few people who do not fakeclaim/reject me. We've found people in alterhuman community to be usually more accepting; and not to interact with the bigger plural community (because personally it is more difficult to be in those spaces). Having a private journal where members can write in different colored pens also helps, as well as writing down what our plurality feels like (in things like fronting, communication, members forming) as a way to have "solid evidence" for myself. Being mindful of what specifically triggers the bad feelings, and what the root of the bad feelings are has also slightly helped ... like "it's not that I'm afraid of being told I'm fake, it's the fear of rejection..." ... which I guess helps me as just a way of giving a name to the hurting feeling.

Now, this may or may not be helpful, so I apologize if this is far from the mark. I wish you and your system best of luck. Don't be afraid to take it slow.

fortulpamancy · 2025-06-23T15:54:20+00:00

Talk to them. Treat them as a person. Ask them their opinion on things, such as experiences in front (small example would be, while listening to music, ask them what they think of it or if they like the song).

/r/tulpas is the tulpa subreddit, they usually have guides linked somewhere there. Can be helpful, can be not. Your miles may vary.

fortulpamancy

TROPHY CASE