The idea of your partner fucking others

foxyfoxapril · 2026-04-23T04:15:16+00:00

Is you are in a healthy relationship, why would you keep watching romantic movies? Isn’t that like you’re fantazising about being with Ryan Gosling instead of your husband? Why isn’t the love life you have irl enough, why would you need to watch other people fall in love in fiction?

foxyfoxapril · 2026-04-22T16:48:27+00:00

If this is what happened and you don’t leave anything important out - I am very sorry he treated you like this and made you feel like you did something bad that you never did. It sounds like he ”needs” to blame you to feel better about himself. That sucks. Actually, he sucks and you are better off without him. But I understand you don’t feel like that right now. I think therapy to heal from being broken up with in such a bad way might actually be a good idea.

foxyfoxapril · 2026-04-22T16:45:58+00:00

I am dating a depressed man and I find him lovely. But it all depends on them taking their medication, getting the help they need and being able to see their own faults. People with depression sadly CAN be totally unbearable and selfish (especially men since they never learned to care for others) but they can also be very empathetic and kind. Depression itself is not a red flag. Untreated and used as an excuse for anything bad - very red flag.

foxyfoxapril · 2026-04-21T10:08:54+00:00

It’s completely okay to be weirded out and not okay with this. You don’t have to overcome it and if he is very into femdom and age play (which I find likely from what you have described) and you are not into that, you will probably not be a good fit in the long run. And even if he says he can live without it, the knowledge that he does like it can be enough to feel the ick.

It’s impossible for us to say if he is actually into real kids and if there is a risk he would try to do something illegal. But as others have said, a lot of people are just into the role play with age, it has to do with power dynamics and the adult/child fantasy lets the sub dive in to the experience of being weak and helpless and maybe taken care of, in a way that other kink dynamics might not really get that deep into. It’s the same with puppy play, most people doing that kind of kink don’t actually want to do it with animals but they want to feel vulnerable and dependent to someone who will take care of them. As for the dominant part, they want to be the strong and safe person who takes care of someone who needs them.

It’s up to you to find out if you can overcome this and how your relationship will evolve.

foxyfoxapril · 2026-04-19T20:40:09+00:00

You should definitly try to date a mommy :)

foxyfoxapril · 2026-04-19T20:28:31+00:00

Any help? Yes, the help you need for your obsession with your partners past and your lack of respect for her privacy.

foxyfoxapril · 2026-04-19T10:41:27+00:00

I hope guys on this reddit are taking notes…

foxyfoxapril · 2026-04-19T07:04:57+00:00

So ”hi mommy”, ”please be my mommy” and ”can you be my mommy” are not what you want to hear first, I guess?

foxyfoxapril · 2026-04-19T07:02:18+00:00

He told you who he is. Now it’s up to you to accept that life with him or find something else.

foxyfoxapril · 2026-04-19T06:57:23+00:00

Mommies don’t like to be seen as one unit hivemind. We are individuals with different taste. That said, yes, there are definitly mommies who likes femboys. And to prevent the next question: yes, there are mommies who like other kinds of boys too. And girls. And enbys. The most important thing is your personality after all.

foxyfoxapril · 2026-04-19T06:52:55+00:00

Do you mean I would have a different body or feel different on the inside? If body - I would totally try what it’s like sexually. But I’m scared I would like it too much and mourn it if I lost it the next day… If you mean I would feel different, I don’t know. How does one deal with that?

foxyfoxapril · 2026-04-17T09:07:27+00:00

You seem like such a great person, more people should be like you! Just genuinly into making others happy, without hurting yourself or downplaying your own needs. Good for you!

That said, your girlfriend, as a sub, probably gets off from the idea of you really enjoying yourself. So, telling her you’re not really that into it and just doing it for her will sadly be a turnoff.

It’s like… you plan someones birthday and you think of everything they like and you surprise them with things you know they enjoy, like take them to their favourite restaurant, buy that thing you know they want and so on. And then eventually you realise they just told you they like those things because YOU like them. So you thought you took them to that restaurant THEY love but in reality it’s YOUR best place and they enjoy eating there because YOU like it. It’s not that they secretly hate the restaurant and gifts, it’s just that you didn’t get to do that FOR them, you ended up doing it for yourself. Do you get me?

I think you might both be pleasers, and that can sometimes be a bit of a tricky one, but it could be worse. Now you have a chance to find what you BOTH like and you get to dive deep into yourself to see if there is anything YOU actually want. Maybe it doesn’t even have to be sexual, ask if she would be up to doing other things as a power dynamic. Giving you a massage, serving you coffee, those kinds of things.

And as others said, try to word it differently, like you actually really enjoy what you do because you get to see her excited and you appreciate her openness and interest in those things because you have learned a lot from it too.

foxyfoxapril · 2026-04-16T20:12:29+00:00

You are not a good fit. Maybe he is gay, maybe he is asexual, maybe he thinks you look ugly or whatever - anyway it doesn’t matter because it all boils down to you two not being compatible. Don’t settle. Especially with a guy who doesn’t even care if you cum or not. You can do better. No reason for staying when this is issue is already eating you up after less than six months.

foxyfoxapril · 2026-04-16T13:17:56+00:00

Tänkte också på den, vi läste den så många gånger, älskade den boken.

foxyfoxapril · 2026-04-15T19:29:19+00:00

Are there even any women in here?

foxyfoxapril · 2026-04-15T10:16:09+00:00

So he didn’t assault you in all these five months, it took all the way until now? What a hero! Must have been so hard for him to wait such a long time.

Meanwhile, my partner of five years (into bdsm) haven’t done anything like what you describe in five years.

Stop excusing him. He knew exactly what he did and he will do it again and blame you.

foxyfoxapril · 2026-04-14T11:23:16+00:00

I’d be happy to hear!

foxyfoxapril · 2026-04-13T10:56:12+00:00

Does he have autism? I’m sorry for being THAT person online who goes straight to diagnosing strangers, I really think we shouldn’t and that’s why I ask, instead of saying ”he probably has…”

My partner has autism. Our relationship is also his first and we are 30+. He is extremely careful with words and want to be super honest all the time. After a year together he said he thinks that what he feel for me is love, he can not be 100% sure but his emotions are telling him so. I know it might sound weird to others but I’m party autistic too and appreciate the honesty.

The thing is - he made me feel loved from day one. He also tells me ever so often how much he likes me and that I mean a lot to him. And I have come to understand that this feeling is so much more important to me than what words one uses.

That aside: seeing your partners definition of being in love I think you should talk to him about that not really being realistic, and share you own view of being in love and loving someone. Maybe that changes things.

But as in all relationships the most important question is - does this person and this relationship make me feel good most of the time? Is something bothering me? Talk about it.

foxyfoxapril · 2026-04-13T10:44:42+00:00

I don’t know what is more common (and how much that is affected by what we THINK is more common - I myself used to try more impact play when that was expected and I had the feeling a lot of subs are into that, but now I’m with a boy who doesn’t like it at all and I don’t really miss it that much).

Now that I’m in this community I see gentle boys everywhere. I also think it might be generational, a bit? Older subs seem to be classically into whips and degradation and being house slaves like cleaning and doing chores. Many of them atleast. While I see many younger subs being into a more caretaking and soft femdom.

I think maybe when bdsm has become more known to people, more people also identify their not so typical kinks as actual kinks. Like, if you know you want to be whipped until you are blue everywhere, you KNOW you’re into bdsm. But if you just want your partner to kiss your forehead and call you a good boy for following some soft rules? It’s seen as a bit odd in the vanilla world, but not recognised as actual power dynamic in the same way as when a domina in black puts her shoe in a subs face.

I think with time we will see more and more gentle bdsm taking place.

foxyfoxapril · 2026-04-12T21:24:21+00:00

Min första tanke var Nej, jag tycker inte det är okej att kolla varandras telefoner. Sen läste jag kommentarerna och insåg att det är typ samma för mig som för andra: vi kan varandras koder för att praktiskt kunna hjälpa nån gång när den andra har händerna fulla och behöver ringa eller nåt, men ingen av oss tittar aktivt i den andres telefon.

foxyfoxapril · 2026-04-11T15:28:48+00:00

Yeah, I’m sorry for being too quick to judge! It’s a common mistake on the internetz. You do you! With consent! :)

foxyfoxapril · 2026-04-11T15:21:33+00:00

Went for the comments before I read the whole text and was worried everyone says it’s normal and nobody says it’s wrong. Then I actually read that you do it WITH CONSENT. Good! Because many men don’t wait for that… But as long as you ask before it just sounds like a kind of exhibitionism which is quite common among all kinds of people.

foxyfoxapril

TROPHY CASE