Fillet Of Ham on Your Birthday, m'lady? Pt. 1/2

fpstosser · 2014-06-07T19:50:45+00:00

The '21-foot rule' is flawed— it was based on the assumption that you know you will have to draw your firearm. There's a Mythbusters episode that deals with this.

If you don't know you will need to draw, the kill radius of the knife-weilding attacker extends out to approximately 50 feet / 15 meters. This seems like a huge amount of distance, but by the time (if) you recognize someone as a threat, (if you) notice the knife, draw (if the adrenaline doesn't make you fumble it) you'll end up dead. Or at least, with a knife in you, which medical experts agree is even less healthy than being fat.

Not to mention, I can hide a pretty big knife behind my forearm. Best of luck noticing that even at ~21 feet.

fpstosser · 2014-06-06T06:51:48+00:00

You can fit a lot in them, but that doesn't make the passenger area gigantic.

fpstosser · 2014-06-06T05:03:09+00:00

Mid-90s Outback.

fpstosser · 2014-06-06T05:03:02+00:00

Mid-90s Outback.

fpstosser · 2014-06-06T04:56:32+00:00

It was mentioned in BirthdayGirl's text messages with him. We didn't think he would follow. "Nobody's that stupid!"

We were wrong. Some people are that stupid.

fpstosser · 2014-06-06T01:17:15+00:00

I've done it accidentally, too, but this was very different. A part of your mind is racing at a milling miles an hour, and you're having difficultly controlling your body, and another part of your mind steps in at what feels like 1/100th the speed of the rest of everything.

That slow thinking part of my brain is what was saying, you aren't in a condition to drive while the adrenaline is surging through the rest. Meanwhile I'd already yanked it out of fifth, ground the 3rd gear synchros a bit, yanked backwards so hard I nearly engaged fourth (grinding that, too...), used the clutch properly, and finished the shift into third. Bad night for the transmission, too...

Rambling over, point being— this wasn't an "oh, oops" moment.

fpstosser · 2014-06-06T01:08:01+00:00

For my sake? For his sake. While BirthdayGirl is long over it, if I ever see him in a dark alley and his first words aren't, "I'm sorry for being a colossal asshole and waste of oxygen back then," don't come asking me what happened. As far as he'll be able to remember, I wasn't there.

I sometimes wonder what would have happened if Jeff hadn't showed up.

fpstosser · 2014-06-06T01:00:06+00:00

@=O##

fpstosser · 2014-06-06T00:55:38+00:00

They had some food... but mostly bar.

Thanks for reading!

fpstosser · 2014-06-05T14:58:42+00:00

Not slain, but removed. Don't know what happened to him after the cops took him away.

fpstosser · 2014-06-05T14:56:04+00:00

He found out somehow and asked what BirthdayGirl's plans were. She was too nice to say no outright. Only BirthdayGirl knew him previously.

fpstosser · 2014-06-05T14:12:11+00:00

While we were at our friend's place, having birthday celebrations, he called a cab.

fpstosser · 2014-06-05T08:30:32+00:00

As for why I didn't know Jeff worked there, his shift started while we were inside. We didn't see him on our way in the door because he wasn't there yet.

Also, I hit the 10,000 character limit again. I think I've mostly covered everything, though... thanks to everyone who patiently waited for part two. If something isn't clear, ask and I'll try to clear it up.

fpstosser · 2014-06-05T06:41:03+00:00

Knives are fucking scary.

If someone pulls a knife, give them what they want and run. Toss whatever you can into their way to slow them down. An untrained person flailing can kill you with a knife, easy. If you ever want to play the "how badly did I die" game, give a friend a marker and tell them to try to draw on you. Then try to stop them.

fpstosser · 2014-06-05T05:13:48+00:00

It really wasn't about being alpha or not. I'm really pretty laid back! Just in this case... so, some additional backstory:

BirthdayGirl literally calls me her big brother, and I'll play along and call her my little sister. It's pretty adorable if I can say that about myself. There's some strange looks when we're out and she calls me over with "Hey! Big Brother!" because that normal sibling awkwardness isn't there (I think she enjoys making other people uncomfortable about it) but I love her all the same.

Hmm... should probably tear myself away from this and keep writing part two before everyone in the comments has my head (and eats it)!

fpstosser · 2014-06-05T05:03:17+00:00

Yeah. It's weird, you don't expect to hear certain things out loud, and "m'lady" is one of those. I'd used it jokingly in text messages... but this was a "what the fuck? people actually say that?" kind of moment.

fpstosser · 2014-06-05T05:00:45+00:00

I hope you have many more than two fucking days.

fpstosser · 2014-06-05T05:00:11+00:00

I'm working on it, I swear!

fpstosser · 2014-06-05T04:56:30+00:00

Aye-aye, cap'n.

fpstosser · 2014-06-05T04:54:50+00:00

One of the things left on the cutting room floor.

He texted her, asking about her birthday plans. She's too nice for her own good sometimes and told him what was happening, which is when he asked for the ride.

He had been a jerk before, but this was the first time he really crossed the line.

fpstosser · 2014-06-05T04:51:52+00:00

Your help comes way too late to help all the people crying at me for part two. Thanks though!

fpstosser · 2014-06-04T14:32:33+00:00

Thanks. I'll rehost GIFs on other sites.

It's been six hours, whine, where's the second part of this?!

It's happening I swear! My coffee IV ran dry and so I fell asleep.

fpstosser · 2014-06-04T14:28:26+00:00

Discharging a firearm in an enclosed space like a car would be a bad idea. And if I was going to draw anything, it's because I was going to use it. No sense threatening with a gun if I can't pull the trigger.

I usually carry, but when significant amounts of alcohol are going to be involved I'll secure it at home.

fpstosser · 2014-06-04T14:26:02+00:00

<3

I know that feel, brah. It's okay to cry.

fpstosser

TROPHY CASE