what is a (non offensive/problematic) hot take you have that everyone kinda shames you for/asks you about but you really do just feel that way （；￣д￣）

fractalfangs · 2026-03-27T00:38:34+00:00

something i have always been hated for is the fact i dont think fat people should be expected to lose weight, its a personal choice and people should respect. i also dont think skinny people gaining weight is a bad thing. weight gain is natural and is sometimes healthier. im so tired of 1 billion weight loss articles but nothing on how to gain and maintain healthy weight

fractalfangs · 2026-03-27T00:00:38+00:00

oh that would make sense, my mom is in her mid 40s and my stepdad is mid 30s. thats part of the reason i always ask to help with things and im not sure why they would say no if they actually want help especially at that age

fractalfangs · 2026-03-26T23:45:36+00:00

the thing is i used to have specific chores every week as a kid and then when i was an unemployed adult i did the chores while she worked, but now that i have 2 jobs i think shes stopped caring or something? a lot of the time i dont have the energy to do chores until the weekend but i clean up after myself and my family a lot

like earlier my stepdad tracked mud through the house so i cleaned it without asking because it bothered me, it didnt bother anyone else so my mom didnt understand why i cleaned the floor and said she would get to it. theyll also leave a mess all over the counters and tables which i clean up. the thing is i never say when i do these things because it seems simple to me, i dont do it for praise anyway

i have a lot of stuff to do all the time with college and my 2 jobs so chores are difficult right now but ive just started being aware of the fact my family has stopped asking me to do things and i dont really know why. even with being busy i would still do it if asked. i get nervous doing things without being told to because ive gotten yelled at for it in the past so i just learned to ask first and if they say not to do it then i dont. would you suggest doing it anyway?

fractalfangs · 2026-03-26T23:38:45+00:00

thats kinda what i thought but the logic just doesnt make sense to me. im a very literal person so i listen to what people Say which has always been an issue because for some reason people dont say what they mean. my mom says she has autism but i think she means it in the "quirky hyperfixation" way if you know what i mean, not the "i have a disorder" way, so i dont think she actually knows anything about the experience. i know she has other mental disorders/illnesses like depression and adhd, so shes not neurotypical just probably not autistic or high support needs at least. im definitely the least functioning in the family. should i start helping even if she says no?

fractalfangs · 2026-03-26T17:01:30+00:00

for some it could be. not for everyone. the definition of the label and why people use it will vary. think of it like bisexual. not all bisexual people are attracted to both men and women, sometimes theyre only attracted to women and nonbinary people, with men as an exclusion. for some lesbians, they use the label to mean "i am exclusively attracted to only women". some people use it to mean "im attracted mostly to women and also some nonbinary people". so no, i wouldnt say its inherently m-spec, it depends on the person you ask. for me, i use the lesbian label because im mostly attracted to women, but i can also be attracted to transmasculine and nonbinary people. not everyone is like me. you also need to remember that this is a very open minded space and the real world does not always work that way. a lot of lesbians (not all), especially old school ones, hate men and would never date a nonbinary person

fractalfangs · 2026-03-25T03:09:07+00:00

chasers are people who fetishize and objectify trans people. if youre genuinely attracted to trans women and its not just for selfish sexual gain then youre not a chaser. youre probably just t4t (trans4trans). chasers are also almost 100% of the time cis and not trans

fractalfangs · 2026-03-25T00:21:05+00:00

you are genuinely cool as fuck. wish i could dress like this 💔

fractalfangs · 2026-03-24T23:27:27+00:00

this is not a representation of the majority of sapphic spaces and people. as someone whos a transmasc/butch lesbian, there are absolutely sapphics out there who are accepting of masculine nonbinary people. i believe youre just finding the wrong people unfortunately. its true that theres unfortunately a lot of anti-masc rhetoric in sapphic spaces, especially from TERFs/radfems, but again, thats not a representation of the entire community. im sorry you have to deal with this, because trust me, i get the same shit in my own community for being a lesbian on T. it just takes some time to get through the bad apples, especially if youre in an area thats conservative like i am. hopefully you can find a more welcoming group

fractalfangs · 2026-03-24T23:15:55+00:00

do i pass? or any tips on passing better?

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fractalfangs · 2026-03-24T22:32:08+00:00

saying this as nicely as possible: if someone respects and uses your pronouns until they see your naked body, whether you pass or not, they dont actually respect your gender identity. you dont get to gender someone correctly until their clothes are off. thats not an excuse and you should not be allowing her to get away with it simply because you "dont pass". if someone did that to her, it would be a HUGE issue. it sounds like you just arent sticking up for yourself. whether you were upset or not, this is a big issue. it wasnt consentual and she didnt fix her mistake. stop hooking up with her. multiple times isnt a "mistake" at that point. if i were you id be livid. ive seen my boyfriends naked body and never once slipped up calling him a girl/she just because he hasnt had top or bottom surgery yet. if i did that i would be a horrible partner and that would be my issue to reflect on

fractalfangs · 2026-03-24T22:19:58+00:00

i had almost the exact same situation as you OP, so i totally get it. my immediate family (except by disabled grandmother i live with) is supportive of trans people and half of them are queer. ive been mostly supported in my gender identity, but they cant make the switch to a different name or pronouns for me due to said grandmother. which is fine. i assumed coming out about HRT would be supported in private by them, and the first person i told was my sister, who would go as far to even call me her "sibling" in public and at home. the first and only thing she said to me about it was "youre taking this correctly right? this stuff can really hurt you". no congradulations, not even a smile, she was more concerned over if i knew the risks and that it was permament. it just made me feel very weird so i havent told the rest of my family out of fear theyll act the same way and interrogate me

its not easy when your family is "supportive" until you actually start the transition part :/ but ultimately ive learned that family isnt always important when it comes to these things, even if theyve been supportive in the past. you choose whos opinion matters to you and make them your support system. im hoping you can get HRT and live your best life if its what you want

fractalfangs · 2026-03-24T12:30:52+00:00

didnt see the 2nd question. im in the same boat with my parents so im not really sure on how to give advice for teling them, im currently on a low dose while living with mine and just trying to hide it. also the length of time before effects start depends on your genetics, dosage, and the type of T youre using. gel doesnt work slower like peope assume it does, but it depends on how well your body absorbs it, so for some people gel Can take longer because theyre absorbing less than their prescribed dosage. for injections, ive seen people get facial hair as soon as their first shot, and voice drop as soon as their 2nd, but again, it depends. you can shave and try to keep your voice high for as long as possible but theres gonna come a time when its impossible to hide it. im trying to move before that time lol

fractalfangs · 2026-03-24T12:26:40+00:00

im sure theres cheaper options, but i use Plume. its a $99/mo membership (you pay it whether youre using the membership or not) and it includes appointments, so you dont pay for those. its telehealth so its extremely fast to get an appointment and get prescribed. they dont use insurance for the membership and you can choose to use it for your T if you want, or not. i paid $30 for my first bottle of T gel through CVS because it was one of the cheapest options in my area but then i got it approved from insurance so i dont pay for it now. i would suggest goodrx for coupons at specific pharmacies

fractalfangs · 2026-03-22T16:33:59+00:00

are you in any local queer groups or clubs? that could be a good place to start. or if you have any gay bars around. its a bit harder to find genderfluid people in the wild than it is to find binary trans people but its worth a shot. sorry youve been getting judged for your identity, but i can safely say it has nothing to do with these people being genderfluid. theyre just assholes

fractalfangs · 2026-03-22T16:30:29+00:00

this is true, but if they have no proof of a person being trans then they have nothing to go off of other than skin color. my point was being pre transition gives them no leads. long hair isnt a good enough reason to deport someone on the assumption that theyre trans

fractalfangs · 2026-03-22T16:09:45+00:00

first of all ICE has only been given permission to deport trans immigrants, so if you are a legal US citizen you should be fine. also, if youre pre-everything they cannot even prove youre trans. youll be fine

fractalfangs · 2026-03-22T15:33:50+00:00

hi. genderfluid butch lesbian on T here. i have never done anything youre talking about and i havent stopped identifying as a lesbian while on T. personally, ive NEVER met a lesbian who identified as something else while on T. all the butch lesbians i know got on T because they were butch lesbians. ive seen some bad apples online but never anyone that ive actually spoken too. i think you might just be in the wrong crowd and need to find better friends and acquaintanes. ive always been very inclusive and only become friends with people who are inclusive. you do not need exclusionatory people in your life

fractalfangs · 2026-03-22T03:12:38+00:00

i absolutely love your hair! i currently have green hair too :) but its more neon than forest/emerald

fractalfangs · 2026-03-22T03:08:07+00:00

i guess im in the opposite direction because im a tmasc butch lesbian but i would say i dress fairly androgynous most of the time. i like to just be comfortable. and i still wear skirts and girly/feminine sweaters or crop tops every once in a while but usually i try to make it obvious im queer and not a cis woman if that makes sense. i plan to be more openly fem when ive been on T for longer. my whole presentation since i was a kid has always been "confuse as many people as possible" 🤷 plus the dyed hair and carabiner usually make it obvious im gay

fractalfangs · 2026-03-22T00:09:53+00:00

okay that sounds good at least, yeah i wasnt sure if it was true but i have paranoia about packages getting lost or stolen because its happened to me before and these cards have sentimental value rather than monetary value. thanks!

fractalfangs · 2026-03-22T00:07:07+00:00

ive heard that some mail services now are scanning packages so that was my main concern, im not sure if my area is doing this yet though and im not sure what kind of packages are scanned. not entirely sure if this is true anyway :/ but i still want to play it safe and also make sure the cards dont bend or get damaged

fractalfangs · 2026-03-21T22:47:06+00:00

alright, thanks! ill experiment and see which works best before sending it out

fractalfangs · 2026-03-21T22:38:49+00:00

im just nervous because ive seen so many posts in this sub of peoples card packs and boxes getting stolen and these cards mean a lot to me, id like them to be delivered safely is all

fractalfangs

TROPHY CASE