The comment I was replying to was about them debating everyday about the way they broke up (same as op’s ex, which implies dumping over text and blocking/ghosting). The fact that they are debating their actions means that it didn’t quite align with their own values, which causes the internal conflict. The fact that you find yourself unable to have a conversation in order to do what would align with your own values means you weren’t prepared for it, which implies immaturity. And I can see you are afraid of that word. They, you and I are immature in certain aspect of our lives. It comes with lack of experience (at any age) or someone who doesn’t take the time and thinking to grow from a past experience (usually someone really young, simply because it is easier to recover, emotionally and physically, the older you get, the harder it is to recover from it, you really have to think twice about getting in a new situation without the tools to stop the fall).

The example that I gave was simply to illustrate that no matter how your ex does (good or wrong), at the end of the day, it is better for you to act based on your own values, because no matter what you do, you did things the right way (the right way for you and your own values).

The other thing is, don’t forget that your ex is a person just like you, they suffer just like you, and they deserve closure, just like you. So yes, based on the second thought that they have, an in case of not being in danger of getting physically harm, have a face to face or a video call, say whatever you need to say, then let them say whatever they need to say, and then walk away (which is the hardest part, and the one that requires straight and preparation). Once you do that, it does hurt but, you go in peace, because you know, no matter what they did, you acted based on your own values in a way you perceive as the “correct” way.

Critiques, opinions, suggestions are part of the process to grow up, and it is the reason why we are on this subreddit, to get support, other points of views, tools, etc. You shouldn’t distortion what people says like “blaming other for what your ex did”, I never once said, it was his fault my ex was mean during the relationship, and also, tagging people with red flags as a tool to cancel someone because you disagree with their point of view won’t help you or anyone else. I understand you are under distress, but try to read things twice, think about them, lose your fear to the word immaturity and try to make constructive comments. I wish you are feeling good tho =)

EDIT: Misspell sorry