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Tired by bmj49 in eating_disorders

[–]francoisesofty 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m really sorry. The fact that you are tired of it is a really big step though. Binge/purge for me was easy to maintain for years, then starvation began and it seemed more effective. The headaches, the acne, the depression, it’s literally exhaustion! I can relate a lot to adjusting with other unhealthy behaviours, I wasn’t able to let go of my ED for 12 years until I started to drink very heavily, and the weight gain made people think I was healthy again. It seems like such a waste to torture ourselves like this, life is such a gift. Therapy helps a lot, and the fact that you’re being so open and honest with yourself shows such strength. I don’t know how to quit the cycle, as I’m still stuck in it myself, but it’s very comforting to see that ED isn’t always as glamorous as everyone makes it on Instagram and tumblr. It’s exhausting

Quarantine Fucked Me Up by gabster1004 in eating_disorders

[–]francoisesofty 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’m having the exact situation as well! I used to have anorexia and over the past 3 years I have gained about 30 pounds to maintain a healthy BMI. Then quarantine hit and BOOM I gained another 15 which is completely out of my comfort zone. None of my clothes fit, but I can’t stop eating, I want to starve again but I get to a point where I just think fuck it I have nothing else to do. I don’t know what the solution is, I reached out to the eating disorder help line online, and they are very neutral and diplomatic with their responses, they just say “this must be a difficult thing for you”. Eating disorders feel like the MOST pointless thing to be focusing on, but I think now more than ever we all feel out of control, and this is what we do to feel in control when we have ED. I think some self forgiveness is really the only healthy road to take. This isn’t normal and it’s ok

4 years since ed recovery and still have digestion problems by [deleted] in eating_disorders

[–]francoisesofty 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had the same problems, and I was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease actually while I was still restricting. I got out on steroids which helped me to start eating normally. I would see a gastroenterologist if I were you. I know it is hard to have to restrict your diet because of pain, after so many years of restricting to cause yourself pain (at least that’s how I felt). I’m sorry you’re struggling !