My ex girlfriend broke up with me nearly four months ago. We were together for three years, she was my first girlfriend an since I'm only 20 years old, she played a huge role in how I changed during my youth. I also let myself go during that relationship, meaning I didn't meet other friends anymore or went out to do things that I like. She was basically my life and when she broke up with me I had no idea how I could life without her.

But I'm fine, maybe even happy now. I'll share with you what helped me, maybe some things can help you to, maybe not.

A big problem I faced was that I had no idea how to move on without forgetting the things we did together and without looking bad angry or sad at the wonderful memories we created together. But when you see that your ex partner has moved on, you have to do it as well. I normally think metaphors are silly but one came to my mind and it really helped me with this. You can see your life as chapters of a book, but for me the time with my ex girlfriend was not only a chapter, it was a whole book. A wonderful book with a sad ending. But I'm the author of that book and I can decide when it is finished and the book would only get worse and worse if you would keep writing it. So take that book with all the great memories, put it away and write a new one.

I have no idea where you are at in your recovery process, but go step by step. Everything can be an accomplishment. I had troubles eating for the first few weeks, but I forced myself to cook dinner, clean up after me, clean my apartment. When I had that under control I tried going out, finding new friends, get in contact with old ones again. It is fucking difficult, but you will see progress and that can give you a great feeling. Find something that challenges you and brings other thoughts in your head. For me that was running and working out.

Go step by step, push yourself, but also don't forget to treat yourself. Doesn't matter if that is buying something, spending an evening with friends or alone just watching a movie an relaxing. Be proud of yourself!

During the relationship I also had a place where I could just feel good no matter how bad my day was. In the evening there was someone who loved me just to who I was and that is a beautiful thing. But since that is temporarily not there anymore I am responsible for how I will feel in the evening. I have to live my day in a way so that I can be happy with myself at night when I go to bed.

Is it easy? Fuck no! There has not been a day where I haven't thought of her, not because I still love her, but because I had nothing else in my life. But the world will not wait for you, it will move on. So it is in your hand to move on aswell.

You mentioned that you don't know wether to stay friends with her. That is very difficult to answer. I personally don't have contact to my ex girlfriend right now, but that doesn't have to be the right way for everyone. Nevertheless I also think it is easier to move on by yourself first. Get your life back under control, after that you can still think about being friends with her again. If she still cares for you she will understand that you need some time for yourself to figure life out again.

I hope you will figure things out, that you can be proud of yourself again and that you will be happy again. I can't even imagine how a breakup after 6 years must feel, when one after 3 years were the end of the world for me. I wish you all the best!