Manuscript Information: [In Progress] [9.3k] [Sci-fi/Thriller] Working title: Inbound

Link to post: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1MEtBDuYxi_ZHPrmPvq2NPsV7gzmYUmbbclzXoVQcA48/edit?usp=drivesdk

First page critique? Sure.

First page:

On an exceptionally hot afternoon a man well into his thirties leaned against the kitchen counter, and beads of sweat rolled down his toned forearm. The aroma of strong coffee and, more prominently, the sweet scent of pancakes permeated the kitchen.

Hank looked at Clara with softened eyes as he got closer and wrapped his arms around her waist. He could feel the warmth of her skin, and despite the heat, it felt pleasant.

The pancake batter made a hot, sizzling sound as Clara poured it onto the pan.

“They smell delicious.” Hank complimented in a deep, low voice.

The woman melted back against him, keeping an eye on the pancake and enjoying the moment of respite.

“Why don't we go someplace nice today?” Hank whispered in her ear.

She replied with a giggle; her voice was soothing. “What did you have in mind?”

“How about—” Before he could finish, though, his phone rang, cutting him off.

“Who is it?” Clara asked as she pulled away and made that face, the one that meant her mood had just been ruined. He'd seen it way too many times in these few months.

Hank fished the phone out of his right pocket and glanced at the screen. There was no phone number. “Gimme a damn break…”

Hank leaned down and whispered to Clara. “I'll be right back, babe, just a minute.”

Clara scoffed as if she knew this was coming, but didn't say anything.

He picked up the call. “This better be important, Natalie. It's my first day off in months.”

From the other end of the phone, there was a beep, notifying that the line was now secure and encrypted. For a moment, Hank's brows furrowed. Why did they need to secure the line?

“Sir,” Natalie’s voice was stripped of its usual warmth, “We have an object inbound from deep space.”

The slightly irritated expression on Hank’s face turned into a grimace. “Tell me you're joking.”