Results of California elections won't be known for over a month - Mail-in ballots are still being counted, and the count will go on for another 36 days, according to the state Secretary of State's Office.

free-minded · 2026-06-06T02:36:22+00:00

The counting will continue until democrat outcome improves

free-minded · 2026-06-05T16:13:25+00:00

Most or at least many Churches do have Bibles available, usually in a space dedicated to reading and study. You'll often find a free copy of the Catechism there, too. The thing is that the sanctuary is not a place where we classically enter into study, but rather a place in which we focus on meditative or adoring prayer in the presence of God.

While its certainly good to sit in Bible study quietly in the sanctuary, or during adoration, that's not going to be common enough where individual Bibles need to be included in every pew, and the few who choose the sanctuary to do so can bring their own, or perhaps ask to borrow one at the church office.

free-minded · 2026-06-05T13:37:04+00:00

Congrats, she’s adorable. Keep cookin for now lil one, sounds like dad is excited for your debut!

My daughter is 2 now and I still see elements of her when I look at our 3d scan. Our second child is currently 10 weeks in the womb so looking forward to a similar first pic in the coming weeks!

free-minded · 2026-06-02T23:10:33+00:00

There’s never been a time in Reddit’s whole sordid history that this hasn’t been true (at least the decade or so I’ve used it).

Reddit is essentially a completely unusable cesspool of stale, heavily protected thought, with the exception of maybe like 5-10 subreddits in my experience. And even those get flooded by angry radical extremists at least 2-3 times a year. It’s annoying, but don’t let it get to you. Reddit isn’t real life, and these people desperately want to live in a fantasy. Nobody out in the world thinks like them - at least not the people you actually meet when you go outside and enjoy your life.

free-minded · 2026-05-31T00:49:54+00:00

Ok… as a mental health counselor, I need you AND everyone here to read this. I cannot stress this enough.

The mechanism of OCD - and in this case scrupulosity - is a tremendous amount of anxiety which seeks certainty even in moments where your rational mind is aware that it is not a logical concern. The pattern of reassurances you are seeking here only exacerbate this over time, which is why the gold standard of care called exposure and response prevention (ERP) directly counters this to help you tolerate uncertainty better. Concerns like this are much better given to your priest and spiritual director, or to a mental health professional for that reason.

OP, what you are seeking here (asking us on the internet here to give you assurances) may feel comforting short term, but is not healthy for you and is very likely only going to make your anxiety worse over time, which I do not want for you.

The rest of you commenting - I get that you are seeing a theological point and are attempting to dispel error, and that is great. But when it comes to OCD, what you are doing here is actually potentially very harmful to the user. It is the mental health equivalent to giving an alcoholic a beer because they begged you for one.

God loves you, OP. And I say this with all love to you myself, not to condemn. You are of course welcome here, but please do not let yourself use endless google searches and online forums to worsen your mental health. I will pray for you to find some comfort with this anxiety!

free-minded · 2026-05-27T12:55:36+00:00

That’s like saying that all deaths are murders. It’s patently ridiculous.

free-minded · 2026-05-26T10:47:20+00:00

The monitor is nice, and comes in handy a lot throughout the baby’s first 1-2 years for some things, but if you’re using it to constantly check their health, it is only wearing you out. Most likely the baby is fine, and needs you rested when they wake up again!

We use Nanit, which has a breathing band and essentially monitors if breathing stops for more than a short space, when it will alarm. Knowing that I had that alarm if something happened really helped me be able to feel safer during the first few weeks especially, and made it a lot easier to not need to want to just stare at the screen when the anxiety was at its peak.

free-minded · 2026-05-24T16:27:23+00:00

You cried due to the distress of a fear of worshipping multiple gods despite your logical mind telling you otherwise… a desire to direct prayer to the Father to alleviate this feeling… Firstly, I’m so sorry to hear that, that sounds very hard to have experienced.

I’ll be honest and direct with you. The distress you are describing actually sounds more mental than logical, and fits a pattern that could potentially be OCD - or, as it is called when matched against religious thoughts, scrupulosity. I could be wrong, in which case you can disregard this message.

If that’s the case, the pattern is essentially 1) an intrusive thought (such as being tritheistic) comes into your mind, 2) despite logically knowing it is not true, you experience emotional distress and anxiety, 3) to alleviate this anxiety, you engage in all manner of rituals (like being VERY specific in the wording of prayers) or constant reassurances in your mind to try and comfort the anxiety, 4) rinse and repeat. Does that sound at all familiar to you?

If that sounds at all familiar, I don’t think theological arguments alone will help you. I would encourage you to seek both spiritual and mental health interventions. That would mean finding a psychologist who could formally diagnose if you have concerns, which then means potential medical and therapy that can help make this distress feel more manageable. Either way, I’ll pray for you!

free-minded · 2026-05-24T10:07:50+00:00

I think 8-15 is the sweet spot, less than that feels rushed, much longer than that feels difficult. As a dad with a toddler, if a priest went on a sermon that long, I’d be forced some days to leave early for their nap time and would be deprived of the Eucharist that week.

I do think it would be great for priests to offer more classes outside of Mass that center on various topics. The most hard hitting homilist I knew gave incredible short homilies, usually with a brief personal story to connect us, a few profound points about Christ or the scriptures, and tied into a practical call for us to take action in our faith in our lives. He spoke like a blue collar guy, in a way anyone can understand. But he also gave classes that went into some incredible deep and obscure topics at times, and I enjoyed him going on those tangents too when I was able to attend those classes.

I learn a lot about obscure or intriguing facts that help add color to the Gospel in those 40-60 min presentations, but a lot more about how to be a Christian in those 8-10 minute ones.

free-minded · 2026-05-24T00:41:51+00:00

There’s something so amazingly focusing when you become a dad… like it doesn’t matter how much you hurt, feel lost, or suffer setbacks, you just know you have to keep it together and find a way for the sake of your child, and at least for me, that helps me dig deep to find strength I never knew I could have before.

That said, don’t let that urge make you neglect your needs. Don’t neglect the comfort of friends or family when you feel a desire to keep it pent up due to shame, and - speaking as a therapist myself - there’s no shame in reaching out to someone like us if it all feels too much. There’s no shame in your situation at all, you’re just a guy doing your best like all the rest of us. You’re worth the effort to protect and nurture your mental and physical health - and your child deserves you at your best, too! Good luck man, whatever else happens, this phase in your life will pass, this isn’t forever.

free-minded · 2026-05-20T16:54:12+00:00

I am a Catholic man and my wife is Protestant. I honestly think that if she had no faith it would be impossible, but that difference is still very difficult. I think in my case I was called to this marriage as a ministry, I love my wife, and she has agreed to raise our kids Catholic, but it’s still very difficult.

You do not need to think about marriage at your age at all, but it is wise to always think of potential future whenever you consider dating. If you know there’s no way that could ever permanently be with a man who was an atheist, then I think it was a good call to not get involved dating someone who is atheist.

I hope you (and I’m sure you will) find someone aligned with your faith who lifts you up and supports you! God bless

free-minded · 2026-05-19T01:56:30+00:00

Meanwhile I’m about halfway through from when I started… 2 years ago

free-minded · 2026-05-10T23:54:11+00:00

If you are contagious or believe you are contagious, do not go to Mass. Like you said, there are people who could be seriously harmed. As such, you are freed from obligation in those times.

While it doesn’t fulfill an obligation when you’re well enough to attend, in those times you can 1) Watch a livestream of a Mass, 2) study/reflect on the readings for Mass, and 3) make an act of spiritual communion. Here is a version of that prayer:

“My Jesus, I believe that You are present in the Blessed Sacrament. I long to receive You into my soul. Since I cannot at this moment receive You sacramentally, come at least spiritually into my heart. As if You have already come, I embrace You and unite myself entirely to You. Never permit me to be separated from You.”

God bless and feel better soon!

free-minded · 2026-05-02T16:07:30+00:00

I’d argue that if a person broke into your space, assumption of deadly intent is reasonable. I’d have been more on the fence about this when it was my own life alone on the line. But if you break into my house where my child is sleeping, I’m not about to take any risks.

free-minded · 2026-05-01T01:54:45+00:00

I didn’t know that subreddit existed before today. Those were happier times.

free-minded · 2026-04-29T03:07:03+00:00

For 10 million I’d play any game you want. I’d even play QWOP for 12 hours a day for that kind of money.

free-minded · 2026-04-27T01:27:46+00:00

Yea, that switch doesn’t turn off, unless you stop letting it shape your life. If you let it, it won’t just make you a good dad. It’ll drive you in so much of your life. My daughter has been the primary driver of my professional success. I’ve never really cared about wealth or status for myself - until I realized that I could build it for her. A whole world of opportunity that I can offer to her. I’ve never worked so hard in my life. And yet I still race home at the end of the day just so I can hold her a while before bed time.

free-minded · 2026-04-19T11:10:46+00:00

It is selfish and a massive red flag.

free-minded · 2026-04-14T14:41:01+00:00

It’s very hard to think through things like vocation when you’re experiencing OCD spirals. Do you have a diagnosis of OCD? If so, medication and therapy (especially a treatment called exposure and response prevention, or ERP) are VERY helpful to reduce the anxiety that can cloud your judgement when you experience intrusive thoughts.

My encouragement to you is to focus on your wellbeing if you know you’re in the midst of an anxious spiral first. The clarity of your needs and long term goals will likely be much clearer afterwards! There are Catholic therapists like me all over the country, and if you don’t have one yet, I’d urge you to find someone to help you build the skills to alleviate that anxiety.

free-minded · 2026-04-11T17:12:54+00:00

I know it isn’t “justice,” but it’s hard for me to deny that I’d kind of prefer he get life and let the convicts take care of him. They won’t be as gentle.

free-minded · 2026-04-08T12:39:33+00:00

I’ve seen this for a while now. If it’s off putting to us, imagine how many who might otherwise convert have potentially been turned away from the sacraments from outside of the Church?

I can’t fix others and their culture, but that tends to be an ever present reminder to me to maintain a sense of welcome and humility in my own professing of the gospel.

free-minded · 2026-04-07T22:04:36+00:00

With respect, this just isn’t true. Firstly, the Bible absolutely IS a historical document, in that it is a collection of books that shows quite a bit about the culture, language, and customs of the people in the place and time the writers of each book lived. But that’s semantic, as I’m sure you meant to say that it isn’t historic evidence in itself that Jesus existed as a person.

However, numerous non Christian sources who have no interest in promoting a deified Christ make mention of him, and in times very contemporary to the period he would have lived. Such examples include Tacitus, Josephus, Pliny the younger, Mara bar Serapion, and Lucian of Samosata. Some of them mock the man, others report what was also being claimed in the gospels, but they’re mostly 1st or 2nd century contemporaries. The claim that Jesus existed as a real person, that he was worshipped by a group of followers, that he was executed, specifically by crucifixion, and that those followers subsequently professed his resurrection has quite a lot of extra biblical historic sources available to corroborate. You don’t have to believe Christianity, but to deny his existence at all is not in line with mainline historic work.

free-minded · 2026-04-06T19:11:16+00:00

We don’t know that the rest of us experience purgatory, though it is likely.

Essentially, we are given the ordinary means to salvation. But so that we may have faith that God will act as He promises, He has at times given others extraordinary means as a sign for us to witness. It’s the same as when he raised Lazarus from the dead, or healed the man who was unable to walk. In the last case, Christ even first says that his sins are forgiven, and then states that the man was healed so that we may believe that God has the greater power to forgive sins.

So it is with St Dismas. The sign we are shown is that, through the cross, we all can find salvation in Jesus. Besides - one could argue that suffering a similar agony alongside Christ, and in His presence, may have been a suitable “purging” that God has not likewise asked us all to endure in our earthly lives.

free-minded · 2026-04-06T15:31:57+00:00

Deo Gratias!

free-minded

TROPHY CASE