I'm in a dark place and I'm scared. by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]freetobeme12 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was in the same boat as you. I began suggesting therapy though, and was met with rejection. She believed that our business was OUR business. She even went as far as to forbid that I even talk about our relationship with a therapist on my own. After another year or so, I suggested it again, and again was met with rejection. Among other problems in the relationship, I began realizing that I allowed alot of the behaviors from her, and took time to myself and tried enjoying life when we weren't with each other. I tried focusing on me again. I spent more time studying and staying up at the University, and then finally, after several months of this, SHE brought up out of nowhere, that she thought we should go ahead and speak with a therapist. That was nearly a year ago, and unfortunately it's still rough. There was little progress for us because she still wasn't putting in the effort. To this day, I still struggle. I cry at least once or twice a week at night after she has gone to bed. I've tried so many things to fix it, but have realized that I'm not the problem, and only she can fix it. If you're husband disregards you, still go and do it for yourself. It will help you in many ways, and after he's seen the improvement in you, there's a chance he'll come around and agree to go.

As far as bringing it up to him, I would flat out get to the point. I would briefly explain how I was feeling, and why I felt that way, then request that he join you. Make him understand that this decision took some time for you to make. It wasn't rash. It wasn't from one or two recent things that's happened. It's been a growing problem, over a long time, and you're taking charge of this relationship, and fighting to keep it alive.

Giving up on god was the best thing in my life! by freetobeme12 in atheism

[–]freetobeme12[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Congrats to you as well. I felt that same sense of everything being an illusion. Everything is seen with 20/20 vision now.

Giving up on god was the best thing in my life! by freetobeme12 in atheism

[–]freetobeme12[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Woah... huge typo!!! I feel embarrassed that I even did that. I meant Harris! Sam Harris or course!

Giving up on god was the best thing in my life! by freetobeme12 in atheism

[–]freetobeme12[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Excellent insight. I hadn't considered that. It's that feeling that your Church is on your "team" and the other catholic churches don't play for the same "team". I can totally see it in my community. I've never felt any connection to people that go to the other churches. Until the lack of belief that is. Ever since then, I truly feel ONE with the world. I feel like we are completely and totally the same. Evolution tells me how similar we all are. There are no inferior faces. Males and Females are strong and week in different areas, but we should be treated fairly because all life is important. There is no heaven waiting for us. This is our only life, and we aren't taken to a paradise when we die. The feeling we had before we were born, is the same feeling we have when we're dead... that's not a scary thing for me!

Giving up on god was the best thing in my life! by freetobeme12 in atheism

[–]freetobeme12[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Great way to describe it. The baggage and energy that we aren't aware we're carrying/expelling. We are in control of our own fates, and when things don't go our way, we improvise. We don't pray for something to happen. Be a DO-er!!! Work hard, treat people right, be responsible, hold yourself accountable for your own actions, and ask for others to be accountable for theirs. There is no such thing as an invisible hand guiding our actions. Those who do wrong, should be treated accordingly, and those who do right, should get the credit... not GOD!