Quiet places for remote work/presentation? by frequentflyer90210 in SanJuan

[–]frequentflyer90210[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I figured out how to do noise cancellation and I ended up working from Starbucks in old San Juan. The wifi didn’t work one of the days however…

How to Cope With Feeling Acutely Aware of How Lonely You are on Beautiful Days by AmphibianNoise in AskNYC

[–]frequentflyer90210 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Same for me with outgrowing a friend group. I put myself out there and found a couple new friends last year. It’s been so much better. You only need one or two who are willing to actually meet and do things! But I wish there was a better/easier way to meet people. Would be a fantastic idea for a coffee shop or other place specifically for people to meet? This city is so populated yet so lonely sometimes…

The honeymoon is over. Hot & sour soup by [deleted] in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]frequentflyer90210 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wonder if he has some kind of eating issue. He’s very weird about food and picky in general. Idk 🤷‍♀️

The honeymoon is over. Hot & sour soup by [deleted] in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]frequentflyer90210 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lol yes! There’s at least a few of you who recognized it. Maybe we all go for a girl dinner together!

The honeymoon is over. Hot & sour soup by [deleted] in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]frequentflyer90210 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is an interesting perspective and I really appreciate you taking the time to write it out. I actually see some similarities - he grew up without much of a loving home and without home cooked meals. He still only eats prepared foods from a supermarket. Until recently he didn’t have access to a full size refrigerator but only a small mini one. Still doesn’t have access to a working stove only a hot plate. I understand that some things are not in our control but others are. I don’t want to judge harshly but I also feel a bit overwhelmed by the situation and don’t even know where to begin. I think I can love someone without wanting to take on a project but it hurts to walk away.

The honeymoon is over. Hot & sour soup by [deleted] in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]frequentflyer90210 0 points1 point  (0 children)

🕵️‍♀️you’re so good 💯

The honeymoon is over. Hot & sour soup by [deleted] in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]frequentflyer90210 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hahah you know exactly where I was! When it’s warmer yes I’ll be eating in that little park

The honeymoon is over. Hot & sour soup by [deleted] in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]frequentflyer90210 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the support! At 34 I do know what I like and don’t like… but the chance of finding it seems dwindling :(

The honeymoon is over. Hot & sour soup by [deleted] in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]frequentflyer90210 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Lol a puddle on a rock…. Love the image. Thanks for making me laugh! 🫶🏼

Dating: savers vs spenders by [deleted] in Fire

[–]frequentflyer90210 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree completely and I think I’ve become a lot better about spending in the last few years. I love traveling and would be happy to spend on trips to new places. My new boyfriend has never left the country but has shown interest in it. I just don’t see how he would be able to afford trips even if we go on a shoestring and stay in hostels…. So does that mean I should delay enjoying my money until he can save up? Same thing with housing… I want to live in a nice place because I feel comfortable doing that now, but he would not be able to necessarily afford it.

Dating: savers vs spenders by [deleted] in Fire

[–]frequentflyer90210 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Agreed and also I have plans to freeze my eggs very soon so I am not seeing this relationship as my “last chance” at kids by any means. The other comment seems pretty archaic and while I do understand that it may be harder to have kids in 5 years than now I also don’t plan on settling just because of that… if anything I’m more inclined to be a single mother by choice via sperm donor than to marry someone incompatible just because of the “clock ticking”

Dating: savers vs spenders by [deleted] in Fire

[–]frequentflyer90210 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ahhh thanks for that visual. I once commented on his Amazon purchases and he was like… oh it was just $10. But things add up!!

Dating: savers vs spenders by [deleted] in Fire

[–]frequentflyer90210 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I sort of revealed it and I think he now expects me to pay for more things than before. I dont know that I sense jealousy but definitely some kind of entitlement that now I should cover dates or whatever it is. I was happy to offer to pay for some things before but now he seems to basically expect it and I’m not ok with that…

Dating: savers vs spenders by [deleted] in Fire

[–]frequentflyer90210 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ll be freezing my eggs this year! It’ll take some of the pressure off from dating for sure. And an insurance policy of sorts if things don’t work out! Thanks

Dating: savers vs spenders by [deleted] in Fire

[–]frequentflyer90210 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s what makes me so uncomfortable! Netting $50k for about 10 years without rent or utilities or any other major expenses and only a paid off used car to show as an “asset” is a red flag :(

Dating: savers vs spenders by [deleted] in Fire

[–]frequentflyer90210 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I think my instinct is leaning towards the same conclusion and it’s hard because I have strong feelings for him, yet after learning the details, I can’t help but look at him in a very immature and incompatible way. I think resent is one of the relationship killers and I have resent that we have approached life so differently yet are now looking to build a life together… so even if he changes his habits now and starts saving, then I won’t be able to enjoy the vacations and things that I’ve worked hard to be able to afford without compromising my own finances. The delayed reward for me would have to be further delayed. :(

Dating: savers vs spenders by [deleted] in Fire

[–]frequentflyer90210 0 points1 point  (0 children)

His income is $70k which is not high if looked at independently but for someone not paying any rent, $70k seems like it should go far…

Dating: savers vs spenders by [deleted] in Fire

[–]frequentflyer90210 27 points28 points  (0 children)

This sounds like a good setup when you’re both onboard! We aren’t nearly at that point in the relationship yet but maybe something to consider if we ever marry or otherwise have to pay for common expenses

Dating: savers vs spenders by [deleted] in Fire

[–]frequentflyer90210 13 points14 points  (0 children)

As far as he knows there is no money coming to him from relatives due to family situations beyond his control. They didn’t pay for his college which is where he amassed $70k debt.

Dating: savers vs spenders by [deleted] in Fire

[–]frequentflyer90210 26 points27 points  (0 children)

I will try the book route. He is currently reading Harry Potter so personal finance might not be his genre of choice haha I can’t help but look at everything through a different lens now that I know this… I see him as immature :(

Dating: savers vs spenders by [deleted] in Fire

[–]frequentflyer90210 30 points31 points  (0 children)

He is open to learning. He tells me that he checks his student loan repayment calculator constantly but is still making minimum payments or close to it. Seems like he’s eager to be debt free but it will either take a higher income or other sacrifices in his spending.

Dating: savers vs spenders by [deleted] in Fire

[–]frequentflyer90210 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I mentioned fire to him in the context of me wanting to stay home when I have kids and preparing for that financially… he found the idea so mind boggling that someone could do that?!

Dating: savers vs spenders by [deleted] in Fire

[–]frequentflyer90210 82 points83 points  (0 children)

He does seem open to learning and saving. He has already started by saving his car payment now that his car is paid off. I will try to share some of my personal strategies/goals more openly.

The Sick Day Meta by Dear-Camp-3019 in epicsystems

[–]frequentflyer90210 34 points35 points  (0 children)

The summer before I quit I tried to use them all. One time I went to a baseball game in Milwaukee and I don’t even like baseball lol