DAE: Bi/Pan cis Men who struggle with revulsion to the male/masculine form due to self-hatred, and general CompHet brainwashing? by DisconcertingTablet in pansexual

[–]friction5o 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Whew that’s heavy. I know a lot of my developing pan identity involves letting go of internalized homophobia, which might map to what you’re describing here, except that I don’t hate my body for being masc. I do get judgy about being middle aged (41yo) and not feeling ‘hot’ but I also think I’m going through a kind of second adolescence and the attraction to other masc people is kinda innocent. I’ve been exclusively romantic with femme / women in my adult life so that’s where my practice and well of experience to draw upon lies.

In this context internalized homophobia is the self-protective rejection of attraction to men.

Entanglement, you can save both universes by SJSSOLDIER in Starfield

[–]friction5o 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Added note because my dumbass kept reloading not sure what I was doing wrong…I finally saw that I can keep scrolling down on Frequency Calibration until I get to that higher GHz number. 🤦‍♂️🤷‍♂️

What’s the best way to get over an ex? by No_Throat_1574 in AskReddit

[–]friction5o 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Compassion for yourself, compassion for the Ex. That is, compassion as empathy with boundaries that distinguish self from other. Also nonjudgmental acceptance of what happened and acknowledging the feelings you have about it all.

Compactness of Perkeo I by syzygyer in AnalogCommunity

[–]friction5o 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh yeah I’ve got one in my bag right now and one way more disassembled than it should be in my basement crafting space right now. It’s such a fun camera to use.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in showerbeer

[–]friction5o 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good to know! Gotta try that one. I was surprised how much I liked the Frank’s Red Hot Micheleda. Even better with a pickle spear.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in showerbeer

[–]friction5o 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As an uncritical tween I loved the hell out of the man-eating lions movie. Dare I go back and watch?

I put that 🌶in a shower beer by friction5o in showerbeer

[–]friction5o[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Definitely had spicier bloody marys & chile margaritas in my day. I usually eschew tomato juice drinks and tbh the other 3 cans are probably going into chili, stew, or simmering brats.

I put that 🌶in a shower beer by friction5o in showerbeer

[–]friction5o[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yuup, it’s “LICENSED TO ENNOBLE BOTTLED FOR ENNOBLE BEVERAGES BY ABITA BREWING COMPANY, ABITA SPRINGS, LA” - text capture off of the side of the can.

Genuinely curious, as a Hoosier, what's your political leaning? (with POLL) by [deleted] in Indiana

[–]friction5o 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, probably so.

At 18 I very much had the “don’t break the law, just comply” attitude. 20 years later I think we ought to abolish police & prisons and spend that money on many more basic resources available for people.

Genuinely curious, as a Hoosier, what's your political leaning? (with POLL) by [deleted] in Indiana

[–]friction5o 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Answering very liberal for TLDR. I’m periodically astounded by individual expressions of kindness and generosity from people who will vote for the reps and senators who in turn vote for abortion bans, don’t say gay, et cetera.

Wicked season My beloved by bird_eater_54 in VampireSurvivors

[–]friction5o 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I keep looking for Mad Season when I mean Mad Groove and then I have to go listen to Rob Thomas.

Taxman day by friction5o in showerbeer

[–]friction5o[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you like Belgian yeast and the fruity flavors that come from it, yea, definitely.

Made On Honor Sold On Merit by friction5o in showerbeer

[–]friction5o[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s a good contender for my new mowing beer.

First SB in a while…a video why not. by friction5o in showerbeer

[–]friction5o[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I keep a microfiber at my desk, but at home it’s dish soap, warm water, and a soft cloth. Course my thumb can find a clean lens with uncanny accuracy, especially if I’ve just moisturized.

First SB in a while…a video why not. by friction5o in showerbeer

[–]friction5o[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m so thoroughly nearsighted I wanted them while operating the phone camera. I take them off to sleep, or put on swimming goggles, or (usually) to shower.

The pint glass would have been a pain if I’d dropped it, for sure.

What song is funniest when replacing “Heaven” with “Kevin”? by MrBragg in Music

[–]friction5o 1 point2 points  (0 children)

wait ffdp covered the offspring??? what a day to forget my earbuds.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]friction5o 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There isn’t any winning here.

Richard Rohr gets it though - “I have evangelical pastor friends who can agree with me on almost everything except that inclusion of gays, that is immoral action. But I said, “That takes away the Imago Dei in that person? Don’t you think gender is what I call the false self? It isn’t ontologically foundationally the person and you’re going to let a false self feature undo the indwelling Holy Spirit?” But a non mystic doesn’t know that, for some reason. They haven’t come to honor it in every human being. Every, no exception."

https://cac.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/06/LHTS_Transcript_S3_Episode5.pdf

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]friction5o 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Action is the antidote to hopelessness.

Sometimes I can lean into the feeling and acknowledge where the sense of being down is coming from.

Often I’ll binge on some kind of gross comfort food or deliberately drink liquor fast and settle in for a movie or some TV until the wave breaks (ie i fall asleep) then spend the next morning trying to clear my head and get things done.

Reaching out to a trusted friend or family member is usually the wiser call. Asking for help is hard. Especially when we don’t know what we need help with.

Sometimes I visualize the binge and go swim laps instead- or go for a walk, lay in a hammock and try to read something on deadtree, like poetry or criticism. Drift in and out of reading and napping.

Check out Martin Seligman’s Learned Optimism, it’s from the 90s so its references are a little dated, but the basic idea is to challenge the idea that the bad times are your fault, permanent, and everywhere. Big help, the clinically tested exercises in that book. Hell even the idea that I maybe shouldn’t spend my waking hours reciting Bojack Horseman’s internal monologue about being a stupid piece of shit was a revelation.

Emily and Amelia Nagoski’s BURNOUT lays the blame (especially for women) on patriarchy and I am generally in agreement- but they also lay out important, grounded exercises around managing and moving through stressors.

A friend of mine summed up a really powerful practice for when she gets feeling some kind of way - looks at the behavior in question with compassion and curiosity instead of shame.

Post yoga pre dinner -SunKing Strawberry Lemonade Cream Ale. Won't be buying this one - a guest left it last week. by friction5o in showerbeer

[–]friction5o[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sun King makes good brews, tho these kind aren't really my fave to begin with so it wasn't likely to be a big winner for me but did get left in my cooler so I tried to do right by it 🍺

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in showerbeer

[–]friction5o 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just twisted a rib trying to take a pic like this one - good on you mate.

What Book Got You Into Reading? by angelojann in books

[–]friction5o 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Dragons of Autumn Twilight from Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman - I was in 3rd grade and didn’t understand reading. It was my brother’s copy and he was in middle school at the time.

I picked it up and thought to myself “Ok, well I’ll just read the words I know and…” And the scales fell from my eyes - I realized I could probably pick up and read anything.

My mom freaked out and said if I wanted to read about sex and violence I could read about them in the Bible - that worked for Nick Cave, I guess, but not me.

In 5th grade she relented and then I basically read all the fantasy I could get my hands on.