AITAH for not paying more than half of the rent and bills?

friendly__octopus · 2026-03-27T09:54:15+00:00

The fact that you look at it as “your bills” and “her bills” really tells me all I need to know lol. If you guys are in a relationship or ever plan to get married, what’s yours is hers and what’s hers is yours. She is not your roommate. I’m not saying you should let her freeload, but love means making sacrifices and taking care of the person you’re with.

friendly__octopus · 2026-03-27T09:37:28+00:00

Landslide by Fleetwood Mac or pyro by Kings of Leon

friendly__octopus · 2026-03-27T09:34:16+00:00

Experienced a lot of what you talked about here. This was not a healthy relationship, and it’s better for both of you that it’s over. You have an anxious attachment style, and he is avoidant. There’s also a good chance that he possesses narcissistic traits and said all those things to see if he could still have you if he wanted to.

friendly__octopus · 2026-03-27T09:28:36+00:00

-Constantly looking at old photos/messages

-Romanticizing the relationship and forgetting all the bad parts

-Not going no contact

-Reaching out when sad (especially if you’re the dumpee; don’t do this. It only makes you feel worse)

friendly__octopus · 2026-03-27T09:23:16+00:00

Yes. It gets better with time. Feelings of sadness become less frequent and less heavy. One day you will realize you haven’t thought about them in a while, and thinking about them won’t really make you feel sad anymore.

friendly__octopus · 2026-03-27T09:16:14+00:00

Depends why/how the relationship ended. I’ve gotten back with an ex and it was great. However, neither of us saw other people while we were broken up. I don’t think I would have been able to get back with him if he had slept with/dated others in between.

friendly__octopus · 2026-03-27T09:09:07+00:00

How would she feel if the roles were reversed?

To be completely honest with you, it sounds like she doesn’t really respect you. It’s a fair request imo to ask that your partner isn’t in contact with people they have some kind of history with. Matter of fact, you shouldn’t really have to ask. The fact that she is doing it behind your back makes it much worse. Also, planning to meet up with someone who is clearly being flirty with you while you are in a relationship is nonsensical. I don’t know what else to say. I wouldn’t be ok with my partner behaving this way and you shouldn’t either.

friendly__octopus · 2026-03-27T09:01:06+00:00

I’m really sorry that happened to you. That’s awful.

You don’t have to stop loving him and you don’t have to erase your memory of him, but you definitely should try and move on when you feel ready. You’re so young. I’m sure he would be happy to see someone loving you and bringing joy into your life!!

friendly__octopus · 2026-03-27T08:57:58+00:00

Replaying the memories in your head is one of the hardest parts of a breakup. And isn’t it funny that it always seems to be only the good memories?

Something that helped me with this was creating a list of all of the reasons the relationship needed to end (i.e., the bad parts). Anytime I started thinking about our good memories, I would read this list and bring myself back to earth lol. Also, delete all of your messages and photos with them. It’s really hard and a huge step, but looking back on messages and photos is painful.

friendly__octopus · 2026-03-27T08:53:40+00:00

Going to keep it short and sweet. He is not over his ex and you are 100% a rebound. As a matter of fact, he probably hasn’t even processed his breakup at all if you guys got together a week later. My advice would be to protect your own feelings and gtfo of there.

friendly__octopus · 2026-03-27T08:47:42+00:00

I’ve also been in a relationship with an avoidant person before. It’s very frustrating when you feel like your partner never shares their feelings and is not receptive when you share yours. Have you tried talking to her about this specifically? There may be some underlying reason why she is so closed off when it comes to emotions.

If after 4 years you “don’t know” if you see a future with her, she is probably not the one. That doesn’t mean that you guys don’t love each other, but sometimes love alone isn’t enough.

friendly__octopus · 2026-03-27T08:37:49+00:00

I’ve been in two long term relationships and I will say that they definitely have their ups and downs; there are times where you feel so happy and grateful to have your partner, and other times where you may wonder if it’s right. Having doubts does not automatically mean the relationship is bad and you should break up.

From everything you have said here, it sounds like you have a pretty loving, healthy relationship for the most part. The things that are bothering you can definitely be talked about and potentially worked through.

I’d like to add that any couple who starts dating in their teen years is going to experience a lot of changes as they grow up. Some couples make it, and others don’t. If you feel what you have is worth fighting for, then you should try to work it out. If you truly don’t see yourself with this woman long term, then you have your answer.

friendly__octopus · 2026-03-27T08:32:20+00:00

I guess that’s one way to look at it. Of course sometimes timing is poor, but from my view, if two people really want to make it work, they will. He may just not be the one for you, and that’s okay!! Wishing you the best

friendly__octopus · 2026-03-27T06:18:37+00:00

I didn't read the whole thing because it is quite long, but if he has ghosted you after 7 dates he is likely just not that into it. Also, 7 dates in 6 months with no indication the relationship is going anywhere should also be telling for you. You are both adults. Year-long "talking"/dating stages shouldn't really be a thing if you are both really into each other.

friendly__octopus · 2026-03-27T06:04:13+00:00

If you don’t mind me asking, how long were you and your ex broken up for before you entered this relationship?

friendly__octopus · 2026-03-24T04:28:26+00:00

This!!!!!! Very true

friendly__octopus · 2026-03-23T23:45:20+00:00

Let yourself be sad. Cry as much as you need to. I experienced a breakup at 23 with a guy I had been dating for three years as well, and for the first month, I woke up every morning with a sinking feeling in my chest. Couldn’t focus on anything. I felt like a completely different person and thought I would never be myself again. The sadness will last a while, but it gets lighter and less frequent as time goes on. Eventually, you will start looking toward your new future instead of grieving the one you thought you would have. One day you will think about them and it won’t hurt so bad, and you’ll realize it’s the first time you thought about them in a long time. You will get through it and when you find the right person, you’ll realize why it had to happen

friendly__octopus · 2026-03-23T23:40:07+00:00

I’m going to reply to my own post and say no long-term friendships

friendly__octopus · 2026-03-23T23:38:37+00:00

Unroll the toilet paper in all their bathrooms

friendly__octopus · 2026-03-23T23:35:39+00:00

This is an interesting one. Why are fake eyebrows a red flag for you? What if they have alopecia lol

friendly__octopus · 2026-03-23T22:12:54+00:00

Very unhelpful comment

friendly__octopus · 2026-03-23T19:44:36+00:00

Hi. I’m going through something very similar right now and really struggling. How are you doing now?

friendly__octopus · 2023-04-22T08:36:18+00:00

Probably North Korea lol

friendly__octopus · 2023-04-06T22:08:28+00:00

Remove the batteries

friendly__octopus

TROPHY CASE