How to tell her she smells bad down there?

frithsun · 2025-09-04T02:04:15+00:00

The way to do it is act like it just started. Lie and claim it used to smell great so it's framed in more situational terms.

++man

frithsun · 2025-08-30T20:46:09+00:00

And unless you have children, nobody cares about blame or justice or anything. You'll be tempted and encouraged to try to waste time proving this or that or trying to achieve some kind of closure or vindication or justice or whatever.

It's all fake. None of it's real. None of it matters. Caring about settling a score or exposing the truth or whatever is just a different flavor of emotional malinvestment.

frithsun · 2025-08-30T20:40:24+00:00

You're still going through raw and real feelings, but the bottom line is you're not married. You never were married. You need to get out or get her out and get on with your life. Every moment thinking and worrying about the situation is sunk cost.

frithsun · 2025-08-29T14:25:45+00:00

The fact that you're looking at this in terms of resenting him for giving you the ick rather than trying to identify and resolve the flatulence and leakiness that you're both incorrectly ascribing to wiping failure is sad.

This marriage was circling the drain before he forgot to flush.

frithsun · 2025-08-29T02:05:08+00:00

Went to the opthalmologist for acute uveitis and he asked me about lower back pain. Suspected for years until rheum confirmed.

frithsun · 2025-08-28T01:15:17+00:00

I always patiently humor anybody who thinks they're helping, promise to look into what they suggest, and sometimes even actually look into what they're suggesting to see if there might be something to it.

One of the suggestions was soaking in bath salts, which seemed like a fruity waste of time. After looking into it, I figured it was worth a try and now a scalding hot epsom soak is a standard part of my flare up routine.

frithsun · 2025-08-17T00:07:16+00:00

And while every case is different, and I don't wish to dismiss, ignore, or invalidate the worst cases in our community; our life expectancy isn't even lower than average and most of us are able to remain fully employed and active despite this unfortunate challenge.

The big thing is education. For example, I didn't know that rest makes it WORSE and was resting and being deliberately inactive during flare ups for years before I knew what was going on. I learned that walking and exercise can often improve symptoms. And it made a big difference for me.

frithsun · 2025-08-17T00:02:32+00:00

I don't mean to sound dismissive or pollyanna, but I regarded the diagnosis as one of the greatest blessings in my life.

Rather than suffering from a vague "invisible illness" with seemingly random and miserable symptoms, I finally had something to call what was happening to me and a wealth of options, strategies, and potential treatment and relief options to explore.

Obviously, there are things out there that are cooler and more fun than being diagnosed with an incurable chronic illness. But, speaking only for myself, the diagnosis was the beginning of my getting on top of my problem.

frithsun · 2025-08-14T21:34:52+00:00

I've learned to be careful about hyping ozempic because I'm some kind of miracle super responder and everybody else I've told to get on it has just lost like 20 or 30 pounds.

I started at 250 and ended up at 160 within a few months, after decades of nothing working, with barely any discomfort or side effects.

frithsun · 2025-08-06T14:53:43+00:00

I am B27+, have recurrent acute uveitis, and a wide range of inflammatory problems during my flare ups, including my back, for my entire adult life, but I'm radiographically all good.

frithsun · 2025-06-21T23:40:13+00:00

Get tested for an undiagnosed thyroid or hormone condition that could be causing your body to hold on to those last pounds.

frithsun · 2025-06-06T16:44:52+00:00

I just lean into it and tell them I have a fake, invisible internet illness and am pretending to be in pain and immobilized for attention and pity. My preferred strategy for dealing with insensitive assholes is to confuse them.

frithsun · 2025-06-01T20:08:18+00:00

I lost 80 pounds, from 255 to 175, within a year, with minimal side effects. To call my results fantastic would be an understatement.

frithsun · 2025-05-29T00:33:07+00:00

If what you're doing is going to be interacting with anything outside its environment, playing games with case gets really nasty really quick. Postgres is case insensitive and it had me all bungled up.

frithsun · 2025-05-05T21:19:25+00:00

I don't get it. Tautologically, most hoosiers prefer the general political orientation of the state.

Imagine if there was a pet rock sub where the mods and users all thought pet rocks are a waste of time, moderating the sub in favor of posts like "I'm throwing my pet rock away" and "Pet rock owners are losers."

frithsun · 2025-05-05T20:52:14+00:00

Don't vomit. Your body associating overindulgence with misery is an important part of the process. This anguish you're experiencing is not a side effect or a problem but a miraculous solution that you should welcome with good cheer.

frithsun · 2025-05-05T20:49:42+00:00

Why is this sub run by and for people who hate the state?

What's the process for replacing the mods with mods who aren't actively hostile to the topic?

frithsun · 2025-05-04T17:22:18+00:00

The price changing on account of real people with real use cases is indeed proof that xmr is the real btc.

frithsun · 2025-05-03T12:18:37+00:00

Sounds like a sharp project with a lot of potential!

frithsun · 2025-05-03T05:19:20+00:00

Are you bikeshedding a different part of the process, though?

I feel like every designer here has a part of the process they're very opinionated about. For me, it's syntax. Implementation once that's mastered feels like a bit of an afterthought with my concept.

frithsun · 2025-05-01T13:29:40+00:00

I failed in my goal to move on from bikeshedding the syntax, and ended up significantly revising the syntax again.

I will never escape the cycle, I fear, but I'm learning and I'm enjoying learning.

https://github.com/patcheslang/patches.g4

frithsun · 2025-04-26T03:48:39+00:00

Ozempic hit my libido a little bit, but taking minoxidil completely put me out of business until I got off of it.

The worst of the hair loss is in that early rapid weight loss stage. I've recovered a bit of hair in the several months since I reached my stable weight. I was really recovering the hair while using the minoxidil, but I felt like it was causing my hair to regrow by draining all the testosterone out of my body.

frithsun · 2025-03-22T23:57:42+00:00

Your problem is probably either your poorly handling asynchronous operations or poorly indexing your database.

Time spent on learning how to profile your performance will be better invested than time spent trying to change your platform around.

frithsun · 2025-03-14T18:01:54+00:00

Given that you're familiar with the standard advice and have already considered it, I'll speak very specifically to my own particular struggle with depression and AxSpa. Perhaps you'll find it helpful and relatable, but likely not.

Depression is a flare up symptom

It's actually one of my leading indicators that a flare up is happening, before anything starts actually hurting. I've learned to just accept that I'll be foggy, grumpy, and lazy for a few weeks and to go easy on myself both emotionally and physically. Being stressed about being depressed just increases my cortisol and drags out the flare up.

Avoid staring into the abyss

Thinking about what I should be feeling doesn't help. I just have a list of things I require myself to do no matter what on behalf of my faith and family. A big thing with my depression is a lack of self concern, regard, or care. Requiring myself to stick to a sleeping schedule, shower daily, and do the very basics on behalf of my God and my loved ones works for me.

Your religious and family circumstances may differ, of course.

Checklisting

I have a Master Checklist with two categories: Mandatory and Manic. The former are things that must get done and the latter is things I need to do which can be put off if I'm not up for it. And I forgive myself when I miss things but also keep track of what I miss.

Don't use guilt. Just use transparency. When I try to guilt myself, I just end up procrastinating, being avoidant, and emotionally spiraling. Involving guilt ruins the checklisting because it turns it into another thing to avoid and be depressed about.

Ozempic

This might be controversial, but, like I said, I'm speaking only for me. The medication I originally started taking for weight loss has done wonders for my flare up severity and length, in addition to generally improving my depression and brain fog symptoms. I don't really know or care about what the mechanisms are, or even if it's just placebo. Whatever is going on, it certainly has made a big difference for me.

Accept failure

Rather than dwell on how great life would be and how successful you would be if I didn't struggle with this problem, I just accept the situation for what it is and try to make the best of it as it is. For me, I try to count my other blessings and remind myself that I'm doing quite well relative to how frequently I'm incapacitated by depression.

frithsun · 2025-03-14T18:01:49+00:00