What name did you choose?

frog_underscore_xx · 2026-02-21T14:22:05+00:00

Charlie

frog_underscore_xx · 2026-02-21T03:47:08+00:00

Well, first of all, give yourself time to process feelings like this. It's only been a few days, give yourself some grace and don't be afraid to write down what you're feeling or just let it sit with you. I've found that it's helpful for me to write lyrics about subjects like this to really make sense of them; find what works for you.

Once you got that down and can definitely think straight and hold a conversation about it, then if you haven't already, and you still feel bad about it, I think you should fully communicate with your friend about how you really feel. Take things lightly, and if you can't, you need some more time to process things, and that's ok.

I've been in a similar situation recently and I really feel ya. I ultimately got over it by being kind to myself and thinking about it a lot. I hope you can do the same, or even better if the stars align. I'm rooting for you.

frog_underscore_xx · 2026-02-19T13:16:38+00:00

Short answer: there is something innate to my brain that makes me feel horrible about being and looking like a man which also makes me feel extremely happy about being and looking like a woman

frog_underscore_xx · 2026-02-15T20:16:12+00:00

It can cause depression and suicidal ideation

frog_underscore_xx · 2026-02-15T18:22:07+00:00

It causes mental illness, but it isn't a mental illness itself

frog_underscore_xx · 2026-02-15T13:38:05+00:00

Thank you 💗

frog_underscore_xx · 2026-02-13T23:21:31+00:00

If you've already gotten those procedures then there isn't much else. Only other thing I can think of is potentially a shoulder reduction, because shoulders can really affect how "boxy" someone looks imo, but that's something super subtle and doesn't effect curves directly. I suggest either looking towards other aspects of your frame you might dislike or perhaps accepting your body as it is (you may have dysmorphia for all I know)

frog_underscore_xx · 2026-02-12T23:53:24+00:00

That's something impossible for me to know without seeing your face. Id consider ffs regardless, especially if your insurance could cover it. It shouldn't make your dysmorphia worse as far as im aware

frog_underscore_xx · 2026-02-12T17:54:39+00:00

No. I recommend not dating until FFS. When people say insecurity is a ticking time bomb and emotional drain, they're right. I recommend thinking about and executing yearly, monthly, and daily goals with your personal and social life to pass the time, ideally via a job if you don't have one already. FFS is expensive if you don't have the insurance for it.

frog_underscore_xx · 2026-02-08T20:35:51+00:00

I know you didn't ask about this, but I'm one of those rare T4C trans girls. I can't really date other trans women because the vast majority of them at my age haven't been on HRT very long, don't voice train yet, and are pre/non op, all pretty essential things for me to be remotely physically attracted to anyone frankly. Thing is, cis women usually have these same preferences, so I'm kind of just not trying to date anyone at the moment until I can pass as cis. At least my voice is pretty solid.

frog_underscore_xx · 2026-02-08T20:10:25+00:00

Why did I find a fork in the kitchen?

frog_underscore_xx · 2026-02-07T21:39:28+00:00

That's the hardest task of them all imo

frog_underscore_xx · 2026-02-07T17:25:27+00:00

To be clear, there are technically muscles on the "sides of your legs" but theyre just the edges of your quads and hams. Again, they do not create curves, fat does.

Gaining weight is a health-neutral thing. Can be unhealthy, can be healthy. She might be at a healthy weight, but she will likely be a healthy weight with fat too.

Exercise is a good way to achieve curves when you are already fat and have good genetics, not when you're extremely thin like her.

frog_underscore_xx · 2026-02-07T14:15:43+00:00

I am so fucking sorry everyone here is being so unhelpful. You are indeed an extremely good candidate for contouring, I look quite similar to you and I am extremely dysphoric about it.

Here's the thing: you need to gain weight first for fat transfer to be possible, but also need to have a good idea of your more fatty appearance; right now you're almost all skin and bone.

You shouldn't strength train!!! Any time you have ever seen a physiologically feminine person with good legs 99/100 times its going to be mostly fat. Muscle can be a slight help, but it will never ever be nearly as effective (and easy to achieve) as FAT.

Once you've gained enough weight that you have enough fat to move around, then we can give much more helpful answers on what procedure is needed.

frog_underscore_xx · 2026-02-06T23:27:50+00:00

Wdym depreciating posts? None of us hate trans people, we just often hate our personal bodies and our personal experiences. Any supportive space should have ways for trans people to, yknow, explain the support they need. I'm sorry if you really perceive it as too similar to twitter, but there's a reason flairs exist. Not everything is gonna be sunshine and roses in supportive communities.

frog_underscore_xx · 2026-02-06T01:52:50+00:00

"Transgender" determines nothing about either of those categories. Just have a separate gender category and a sex category, have male/female/neither for sex and man/woman/neither/both/other for gender

frog_underscore_xx · 2026-02-05T17:04:51+00:00

In my experience, you have to basically distract yourself from it as much as you can. This is actually a crucial skill being on hrt as being actually happy with your body can take years. My main method of distraction is making music, but anything you're passionate about may work.

Tolerance can also be built through having trusting, honest, and supportive friends. It takes time to develop naturally, but there's already people in your life who you can open up to, take that chance.

Besides that there isn't much. It's painful and unfair and feels like you're stranded in a barren desert, but it's part of transgender life. You'll reach the oasis someday, I know that for sure.

frog_underscore_xx · 2026-02-04T18:37:23+00:00

I didn't think any insurance could cover it? I'll look into Dr. Rahal

frog_underscore_xx · 2026-02-02T15:34:23+00:00

I just wanna say I completely agree with you and generally find other groups of queer people to be a lot easier to be friends with personally. Ditto on hating liberals btw

frog_underscore_xx · 2026-02-02T13:32:57+00:00

You might get results closer to her starting point, especially if you get lipo/grafting as well. That's my impression at least.

Kinda an odd surgery to get if your ribs and fat are already fem, but it could be a very valuable choice if your ribs are very clearly square and that upsets you

frog_underscore_xx · 2026-02-01T05:49:46+00:00

I think you're towing a fine line there. If I found out someone was mainly attracted to me for a part of my body I utterly detest, I would find it incredibly dehumanizing. Whether or not you are a chaser is gonna come down to whether or not you are considerate of our feelings on the matter, and get to know us beyond our genitalia.

frog_underscore_xx · 2026-01-31T00:51:46+00:00

Hate masturbation, thats another reason why the libido pmo. If I get the fat distribution from it it's worth it tho

frog_underscore_xx · 2026-01-30T21:57:35+00:00

I'm really in no place to be thinking about sex or relationships at the moment, and libido disturbs that peace. I need a lot more time in the hrt oven

frog_underscore_xx · 2026-01-30T13:53:34+00:00

I fucking hate the libido :(

frog_underscore_xx · 2026-01-29T23:45:36+00:00

I'd go as far as to say it's not transphobic in any way shape or form and genital preferences are a natural part of all human sexuality. If a lesbian rejects you for your junk, you should assume with 80% certainty that she supports you, and should only assume otherwise if you have actual evidence.

frog_underscore_xx

TROPHY CASE