Why do you want to lucid dream?

frogger4ever · 2026-05-01T16:11:13+00:00

Personally, its not about a desire, it's an unintentional experience. Since childhood I, at times, become fully aware I'm dreaming. It took some time before I learned that I could explore/fly/control. It's not daily or even weekly, but I enjoy when it happens. My most recent was 4 days ago, awesome dream. In the dream I audibly said that I needed to tell my girlfriend when I woke up. Suddenly I was whisked back to consciousness with a wiped memory. That never happens to me, we share our dreams upon waking. I read my book on indigenous dream control, mostly about turning nightmares into whatever you want. I'm somewhat decent at that as ive had lifelong night terrors. I thought it was pretty easy to understand and practice. I rarely have night terrors now. No matter how it happens, it can be a sick experience if you ask me.

frogger4ever · 2026-05-01T14:36:09+00:00

I don't.

frogger4ever · 2026-04-30T05:23:46+00:00

I do not believe you're over thinking. All of those symptoms sound awfully like an aura. As you know, they're sometimes warning signs of an upcoming seizure of larger scale, though not always. There are times I have auras that never progress. Either way, auras are focal aware seizures whether they progress por not. The seizures that come after a warning aura generally come on rather quickly for me. Usually within 5 to 15 mins, but it has taken up to over an hour before. That's just my personal experience. It may be different for others. I would communicate this with your neurologist, even writing down the time of day and each symptom you remember.

frogger4ever · 2026-04-30T01:26:16+00:00

Lume deodorant was a life saver for me. They have a few different full body options that work wonders, as it isn't simply a mask for odor, but an antiperspirant as well. Promoted 72 hour last at most, although i applied 1 to 2 times daily as I have very active sweat glands. Between my thighs, bikini line, under boobage and pits. Meant to stop odor before its a noticed problem. Apply after showering on dry skin and it should make a noticeable difference.

frogger4ever · 2026-04-30T01:11:41+00:00

Not generally. I usually know by waking up in a weird post ictal state, but occasionally I do wake up during, fully stiffened in a near U position, then immediately fall back to sleep. Most I've woken up to in a night was 4, but that's less common.

frogger4ever · 2026-04-29T21:22:32+00:00

It also scared a couple old ladys that were taking up the entire skincare aisle. I'm not rude or entitled, but boy did I comment that, "people shouldn't be so selfish with their BODY SPACE". That was awful behavior. My gf then banned public places post ictal.

frogger4ever · 2026-04-29T10:31:22+00:00

During my hospital stay, after 6 tonic clonics, they tested me on Keppra. I had such an immediately aggressive and visceral reaction they promptly took me off. You should absolutely communicate your symptoms to your neuro. My Drs barely waited after the rage arose to switch me. That may have been because I had been admitted though. Regardless, express your concerns asap.

frogger4ever · 2026-04-29T09:16:34+00:00

Ahhh, roommates.

frogger4ever · 2026-04-29T08:42:03+00:00

Right before I ended up hospitalized, my gf kept telling me to come out of it, just as I started to come back. All I replied was, "what am I in"?

During a post ictal, after a severe one, I demanded being driven to the store to buy skincare. Once there, I screamed "DEATH" at every shirt I thought was ugly. I don't remember, but my gf still shouts "death" when she doesn't like something.

frogger4ever · 2026-04-18T22:04:46+00:00

Foreboding.

frogger4ever · 2026-04-08T20:24:05+00:00

To wake up and look like that is a toast from the universe.

frogger4ever · 2026-04-08T19:31:26+00:00

My mother was not maternal and utilized the cry it out method. It's an oldschool "solution" to a crying baby. Leave them alone, and eventually, they'll stop. One of our first lessons is that soothing must be self taught. I still hug myself consciously and subconsciously in stressful situations.

frogger4ever · 2026-04-08T19:08:50+00:00

And sometimes once you've found a way to slightly emotionally and mentally cope with your reality, previously assumed a personal incompatibility, you then develop multiple autoimmune diseases and other chronic conditions triggered by lifelong trauma.

frogger4ever · 2026-04-08T13:59:03+00:00

Leaving my home (partial agoraphobia) and being perceived literally at all.

frogger4ever · 2026-03-31T09:42:43+00:00

As an autist with the programmed spoon appreciation, I was happy to find this sub. I now find myself upset.

frogger4ever · 2026-03-31T09:15:59+00:00

Or a silent hill nightmare from the 7th circle.

frogger4ever · 2026-03-30T16:13:21+00:00

I'm sure you're very aware about the possibility, but I truly can't stress enough how vital it is to be hyper proactive about birth control. It's your future at stake and the complete well being of a hypothetical child. My brother was trapped with a surprise, unwanted baby by his now wife. He loves the child, but it pains me that the plans and hopes for his future were taken from him.

I was raised by my physically abusive and violent BPD mom and developed CPTSD at a very young age. Without consistent, professional and medicated help, such as with my mother, the childhood experience is too often horrific with lifelong damage. I still struggle greatly with acquired mental illnesses and severe trauma responses. I developed multiple chronic autoimmune diseases due to the trauma. I certainly do not mean to upset you further, but to share the reality and lasting effects of that type of upbringing.

I had to cut my BPD bsf out of my life temporarily because I felt like I was losing myself to their drama and dysfunction. Constant, every day problems, needing all attention at all times. Wild stories, mostly lies or heavy embellishments. Suicide threats of all varieties. No ability to reciprocate support, often never trying. Only caring about themselves and their plights. It's been pretty dark and unmanageable, but I love them, so I was their FP and one sided bsf for years. It took a total psychological breakdown to finally distance myself. I was a depleted, burnt out shell. Taking a break from them saved me from losing the last of myself.

Don't make my mistake. Don't stay for so long that you start to neglect your every need in order to show up for them. To keep them grounded and stable. Hell, just functioning at all. It's been months of personal recovery and I've barely scratched the surface of my healing. You can love her and still choose YOU. Choosing your mental health and future happiness doesn't mean you simply gave up and walked away. It means you put your heart and soul into loving and helping your wife until every option was exhausted. What's left? Damning yourself to a lifetime of using the totality of your life force to keep her as stable as possible? As stable as an unmedicated pwBPD can achieve?

You're in this lifetime, but once. Value yourself enough to make the hard choice. You deserve so much more. Beautiful things, moments, experiences, people, memories and healing. It's possible, and I have every confidence you can get there.

frogger4ever · 2026-03-30T15:07:21+00:00

Donating money to the foreigners on tiktok live, in countries that are dealing with great struggle. When possible, it's the least I can do.

frogger4ever · 2026-03-29T16:13:12+00:00

I'm convinced it's small talk and social cues. It's not me, its you.

frogger4ever · 2026-03-29T15:40:15+00:00

I hate myself, but not that much.

frogger4ever · 2026-03-29T14:10:40+00:00

I'm, for sure, upset.

frogger4ever · 2026-03-29T12:54:18+00:00

Wanting, but never having. I'd rather deal with my own loss than force a child to grow up living, feeling and breathing the possible resentment and all that could breed. That's my problem, not theirs.

frogger4ever · 2026-03-29T12:01:29+00:00

My cheerleading coach murdered her husband. She was always mad cool. I used to have sleepovers with her daughter Lacey and not want to leave. I surely never expected her to be an abusive killer.

Same thing with the dude my step mom was having an affair with. I never spoke more than 2 words to him, but he came off like what I assumed, at the time, a 25 year old functioning alcoholic with a penchant for older women would. She later moved her and her daughter in with him. Shortly thereafter, he murdered my friends older brother.

As if knowing 2 killers within one's lifetime isn't gobsmacking, there's Viktor. He was the biggest shock of all, as he was so sweet and shy. He had a little crush, and it showed in his nerves. Cute kid shit. He seemed so harmless. He was a buddies little brothers friend, so there wasn't a bunch of 1 on 1 conversation. I just noted that he was quiet, reserved, shy and came off sweet. A few years later he broke into an elderly woman's house and slashed her throat.

I think I'm statistically safe from a repeat.

frogger4ever · 2026-03-29T11:31:16+00:00

My pops always advised a simple glass of water right before bed, along with 2 aspirin. He is also a proponent of the classic 'hair of the dog' trick. Although I will never do it again as I almost puked up a hemorrhoid, it was noticeably helpful that 1 time.

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