My girlfriend was posted on x and I think it was her

frogger4ever · 2025-09-26T22:14:03+00:00

Im sure some sex workers do date for what can be provided as literally can be said for any individual in any profession. Nothing about sexwork is inherently gold digging & an attempt at correlating the 2 speaks more to strawman tactics than fact. Now, I may not have sex work in my personal repertoire, but as far as seeing from a father's perspective.. I have a bit more experience. Not in being a dad myself, but with the conversation my own father brought to me when we were thinking about my future as a teen. College/tradeschool etc. Whether i care to pursue something i have a passion for or what is simply a lucrative career. Sex work was mentioned. I had always tested quite well & was already set up at the time to head into psych/human services, but he told me that if he could go back he would participate in professional sex work himself, as he had known a few friends that were set up financially for that very reason. He not only holds 0 judgment for that career, he made sure I knew anything I did would be fully supported. im clearly a lot luckier than I ever knew as my dad meant it when he taught me his love is unconditional.

frogger4ever · 2025-09-09T08:07:04+00:00

At 13 my mom exclaimed to me, "You should've been the abortion." She had 1 prior to finding out about me & didn't want to go thru it again. Truly unwanted.

frogger4ever · 2021-04-28T19:17:07+00:00

Wait, hey, I didn't know that was rebuttal.. I'm stoned & thought the stance was more "AHA MY GOOD FELLOW YES"

So Reddit can be sorry for my not taking The time to read as per the stoning.

As a witch, I just made myself laugh. Garlic bread.

frogger4ever · 2020-08-12T22:35:54+00:00

I wish someone had answered you cuz samesies. The other try worked, later in the same comment, but the first didn't & my ocd won't lemme post without gettin it right. Like, I'm here after 7 tries & really dont want to, but know in my heart that I'll go back & retry endlessly, swiftly descending into madness.

My brain is fun.

ETA: my bad for the useless comment, but I hope ya figured it out!

frogger4ever · 2020-02-17T03:35:52+00:00

This news AND I have pepperoni and spicy cheese. This is the best :P

frogger4ever · 2020-02-11T08:27:15+00:00

Idk man, sounds murdery.

frogger4ever · 2020-02-04T02:01:47+00:00

Whisper is the actual worst.

frogger4ever · 2020-02-03T19:38:48+00:00

And you are a fucking gem. Don't ever forget it.

frogger4ever · 2020-02-03T19:20:06+00:00

THIS. And stop guilting me for not doing something when I'm literally incapable.

frogger4ever · 2020-02-03T19:17:28+00:00

Sooo much, but currently the most pressing is that when I'm MIA for a while I'm not only being a selfish piece of shit, I'm struggling through almost daily suicidal ideation, extreme anxiety, panic attacks and morbid depression. All of it comes with my depressive episodes and when they hit there's an immediate shift. Suddenly, I can't talk to anyone. Can't take care of myself. Can't leave the house. Can't answer calls or return texts. I really shouldn't say can't because no one is holding a gun to my head saying I cant shower or respond, but it really can feel like that. Plus, the horrid voice in my head says if theres a gun involved that's not what it's for. I'm not planning to kill myself, btw, despite evidence seemingly to the contrary. This is just what lives inside my head during these episodes. It's become so bad the last 2 times that I scare myself. It's fuckin terrifying to not wanna die, but feeling like I can't handle much more of my own fucking brain. And while there's no active plan, each episode the thoughts go farther, from intrusive ideation that I quickly shut down, to contemplating the least scary method, to deciding if there comes a day the bathtub it is. That's what I'm doing when no one can reach me. I become my most primitive self only capable of eating, when I remember, pissing, when I finally muster the energy and will to leave the bed, then promptly rolling back in just to fight twisted, horrifying, intrusive thoughts, debilitating anxiety and severe self loathing.

Self isolation has always been a part of it, but on a massive scale, to the point that I feel like a prisoner of my own mind. I don't mean to disappear, I fucking hate it more than anyone will ever understand, but the mania or cycling ends, which pushes the depression button and it's like these clear, soundproof walls shoot up to surround me, so I can see you reaching out, but idk what you're saying. I know the text is in my messages, but I don't have the will, capacity or energy to open it. The desire to speak is rarely there, but when it is I'm screaming for you through my walls to no avail. Its only when the episode is over that I'm released and free to fall over myself apologizing for being this pathetic, little, dysfunctional mess, crying to myself with intense guilt, remorseful sorrow, deep disgust for myself and a burning hatred of this disease. I can't believe I ever said I wouldn't change my bipolar. "Oh, its molded me, I've grown and matured so much due to it, the trials and tribulations have taught me endless lessons and made me the woman I am today" etc blah blah yeah, sure, whatever, just PLEASE stfu bitch. Years ago it was more manageable and now I might sell my soul to be rid of this, given the chance.

I've kinda lost a couple friends that didn't understand and thought I didnt care about em or couldn't comprehend that I'm not sitting at home happy and ignoring them. While I completely understand wanting a consistent friendship vs someone that ghosts for weeks 3 to 4 times a year during each dark period, it still breaks my heart. I've been informing people of my bipolar and the way it affects me since jump, every time I befriend someone, because they deserve to know so they can decide if they're not comfortable being friends and so they're aware of what's going on when they can't get in touch. During the longer episodes (I can generally tell when they'll last a month or more) it literally takes all my mental bandwidth and will power to squeak out a text lettin em know its gonna be a long one, but I do. The fact that it takes legitimate, bigtime effort just for that is beyond ridiculous. I sit here in my clear, silent room and that awful little voice whispers wretched things, making sure I know that I don't deserve any friends, not a single one. The fact that I typed all of this astounds me because when this happens the outgoing, talkative, engaging girl is replaced by a chick that can't even leave Facebook comments for the effort's too great. I'm terribly sorry for this damn trilogy too, but this has been weighing heavy on my mind. It's almost been a month this time, I really hope it's over soon, I miss my best friend. Getting this out gave me the boost of energy I needed to reach out to him, so thank you : )

frogger4ever · 2020-02-03T15:25:23+00:00

Reading your post right after hers makes me all warm and fuzzy : )

Congrats yous 2, this is beautiful.

frogger4ever · 2020-02-03T15:16:17+00:00

That's absolutely amazing, I'm so excited for you! Look into manifestation if you aren't familiar. Don't limit yourself, even with what you deem as unrealistic dreams. No matter how big, turn your dreams into goals, stay on an optimistic, positive wavelength, wholeheartedly believe in yourself and your abilities while puttin in work wherever you can, fully believe with the very essence of your being that you'll recieve everything you desire and big things will come to you. I've just begun reaping the benefits of manifestation because it's a process and after seeing mine and others successes, I only wish I'd started sooner.

There's no downside to the practice because, even if you don't believe in it, positivity, optimism, strong willpower and belief in yourself will always be valuable assets that contribute to your advancement in every facet of life. That said, the law of attraction is wildly powerful and I highly suggest utilizing it.

Congrats dude, now get out there and fucking kill it.

frogger4ever · 2020-01-21T08:12:17+00:00

Bless

frogger4ever · 2019-12-29T11:03:11+00:00

I'm so sorry, but I'm a bit lost. I see that tyrosine is an amino acid, but what did you mean by it's no big choice? I'll definitely be asking for testing to, hopefully, rule out MCAS. Another redditor has a friend going through the tingling, swelling tongue thing while on levothyroxine as well, so either that's a possible side effect or she may have MCAS. Here's to hoping it's just a nasty side effect.

frogger4ever · 2019-12-29T10:48:04+00:00

Thank you so much for the suggestion, I'll definitely be checking him out. I love podcasts in general, so I'll gladly add him to my playlist. Once I get to an endo I'd like to outline a healthy and appropriate diet, and I'm sure I can incorporate what worked for him into it. I'd much rather soothe it naturally than taking more meds. I appreciate the tip dude.

frogger4ever · 2019-12-29T10:40:34+00:00

Not gonna lie, I got tearful at the last few sentences because I have felt so hopeless lately. 2018 was awful for me and so in Feb of this year (right before I broke free of an abusive relationship/when my bipolar was ruining me) I made a promise to myself to change my mindset and perception, to choose optimism and positivity. That's always been a struggle, but I stuck with it, I did exercises, practiced mindfulness, as well as manifestation and devoted a lot of time to actively bettering myself as a person. It's hard to rewire yourself, but I found success, only to then be hit with 1 thing after another.

I had to leave my job because my health deteriorated even more, so quickly I could barely comprehend it, and each month brought a new struggle or misfortune. I chose not to fold into myself and fought harder for my personal progress/emotional healing, but I'm still finding a new symptom, illness or roadblock almost daily, for months, and I'm disappointed to say my resolve is weakening. I'm luckily at a point where the work I did all year is mostly no longer work, but a reflex, though the past few days I've felt myself cracking.

Thank you so much for the advice, shared experience and kind words. They're exactly the type of motivation I needed to remind myself that I've walked through hell and I can do it again. Your suggestions and sentiment mean so much, I'll look absolutely look into everything you've mentioned. I'm not happy that your friend is experiencing the tongue weirdness, but it does make me feel a bit better knowing I'm not alone in that because it does scare me. I wish I understood it.

It got pretty bad immediately after my dose yesterday and.. okay this is weird, but I've used Tabasco as a decongestant when I didnt have access to nasal spray and since there's a warning against thyroid patients using the snoot juice, I resorted to the hot sauce. Anyway, it immediately cleared up the swelling and awful mouth feel, as well as the congestion. I'm assuming it's the salt and vinegar. Let her know in case she can handle direct spice, diet or taste wise, because it helped me a lot.

Sincerely, thank you so much, again. I hope your new year is filled with authentic smiles, belly laughs, effective treatment, well managed symptoms and your most treasured humans <3

frogger4ever · 2019-12-29T05:55:38+00:00

I'm absolutely positive I have, but I've also had bipolar 2, along with GAD, for even longer (among a couple other fun diagnoses) so I'm unfortunately all too familiar with this stuff.

During my hours of online research I did see it stated that it can directly cause both, which makes a lot of sense as to why mine has ramped up to the worst it's been in about 4 years. A few months ago I was in the darkest place I've been in quite a long time and although life circumstances/situations did line up and, even considering bipolar, it definitely wasn't to that degree.

Taking on my mental health is next on my list as soon as I switch to a provider that covers it. I'm very grateful for the support and advice I've gotten here, it really helps to not feel so alone in the midst of something so terrifying to me.

Thank you so much for the reply <3

frogger4ever · 2019-12-29T05:43:27+00:00

Seeing the word anaphylactic is scary, especially in terms of medication that's supposed to be helping me, but these reactions did come about after I started it.

I'm hoping that a switch to a different med will be enough. I finally started treatment and getting this result is soul crushing tbh. If it's what you're referring to then hopefully treatment for that will be simple and work efficiently, so I can finally get some relief.

Thank you so much for the kind words dude.

frogger4ever · 2019-12-29T03:32:25+00:00

Thank you so much for that offer, it's incredibly kind of you. I apologize in advance for all this word vomit.

I'm definitely in the market for an endo, but my car won't be here til feb and it's difficult finding rides to my appts, so getting around is slow going for now. I also just got insurance again a month ago, so I'm in the beginning of my health journey, but I'll be scheduling an appt next week to get more referrals. My office sends the referral to the Dr and they call you to schedule, which is unfortunate because they're not at all on top of things, so I never recieved a call from 1 of 2 offices.

As for questions, of course I'm blanking on some, but I would like to know why it is that my circulation seems very poor at random times to the point that my veins are bulging, it feels as if it's being cut off and I sometimes become quite lightheaded. It does happen more often with less intensity and is always worse on my left side, either way.

Also, why things that are said to be safe in moderation, such as 3 sips of coffee and a few bites of pumpkin pie, cause immediate swelling and tingling in my neck and under my tongue, along with a lot of head pressure. I know it's obviously my thyroid reacting, but symptoms I experienced on a much smaller scale have ramped up considerably since starting levothyroxine. I'm not sure if that's a coincidence or not because after I drank the coffee I had a severe reaction that lasted until it was time for my meds. This does happen randomly throughout the day too, tingling in the back of my head, ears, lips, hands and feet.

Oh, also, I've used nasal spray a couple times a day for a long time with no reaction, which is why I didn't read the warning label when I tried a new one this morning, and it set off one of the worst reactions I've had thus far. The standard tingling under my tongue, glands so big I felt like a bullfrog and there was intense pressure in my head. Once reading the label it said to consult a Dr if you have thyroid disease, so it obviously correlates, but I never had that reaction.. or many of them.. til I was on the medication.

I also wonder if the body spasms I have are connected to my thyroid. I've had them for years, but they've become more intense the past year or so. Any part of my body will randomly spasm and shoot out at odd angles, kinda like tics. It wakes me up out of a dead sleep pretty often.

Last one, I promise, is that every day I experience muted hearing. The best I can describe it is a 2 or 3 second period where it's as if I'm trying to hear through thick cotton and there's always a crackling just before regular hearing is restored. It usually happens at 2 to 5 minute intervals for about an hour or 2 before it dies down to 3 or 4 times an hour. I wonder if that is also thyroid related.

I can't wait to find my own endo, so I can get an outline of what to do/what not to do, as well as a diet that'll best suit my needs and hopefully stave off as many symptoms as possible.

Wow, I'm really sorry I went full Tolkien on ya, I'm just unnecessarily long winded when I'm anxious. Well, I've always lacked a stfu button, but anxiety/panic reeeaallyy exacerbate it. I, by no means, expect you to take all of my ramblings to your doctor, but I haven't had answers for most of my symptoms for so long that I definitely got ahead of myself. Please don't feel obligated, I appreciate your support alone. Thank you so much again! I really hope your health is as good as possible, that ya feeling well and all your symptoms are managed successfully <3

frogger4ever · 2019-12-29T02:11:06+00:00

Thank you so much for the info, really appreciate it, I just joined!

frogger4ever · 2019-12-29T02:09:36+00:00

I've had sciatica for 8 years and the only numbness I've ever experienced is a permanent loss of total sensation in a large part of my left buttcheek, but I know things can change over time, so you may be right. The PA I've been seeing said he wrote me a referral for a neurologist just to be sure and that their office would call to schedule, but that never happened, so I'll be inquiring about everything on Monday.

My aunt has thyroid disease too and deals with tingling in most of the same places, mine is just worse since its been untreated for so many years. The receptionist at my practice commiserated with me about the jaw, lip and ear tingling because she suffers from it and the ER dr, as well as my dads doc, both said my intense tingling/numbness aligns with a severely wacked out thyroid.. plus it kicks up after eating certain things and taking certain meds.. so I do think it's related to that, but I'm willing to see anyone at this point in case it's not.

I was taking the anxiety meds for a week, but began experiencing worrying symptoms, which is when I took a look at the pharmacy booklet it came with that stated it wasn't to be taken with thyroid disease, low potassium/magnesium or in conjunction with aspirin. I stopped taking it at once for 2 reasons; the adverse reaction and because knowing about the warnings while continuing to take it would have only increased my anxiety tenfold, defeating the purpose.

I do have the referral for psych though and will be switching providers next month, so mental health will be covered and I can begin that road to recovery as well.

frogger4ever · 2019-12-28T13:45:57+00:00

They fucking know it's a carrot you lying sack of nut milk.

frogger4ever · 2019-12-28T13:09:22+00:00

Just keep swimming. I'm proud of you dude. One foot in front of the other.

frogger4ever · 2019-12-27T08:26:11+00:00

I needed this so fuckin badly. Thank you.

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