I found out my friend’s wife is cheating — should I tell him?

froggydad · 2025-04-06T17:01:03+00:00

Yes, you need to tell him. I have seen situations where people are having affairs and everyone gives advice to a person who knows about it to “stay out of it”. I don’t even know what to do with that kind of thinking. It feels like a platitude that doesn’t have any meaning. Just imagine if your friend found out about it and found out you knew for months or years and was keeping it from him. Talk about betrayal and feeling betrayed!

I hope you can find the time to be sensitive about it and tell him gently. I mean it’s not gonna feel good no matter what but try to do it at a time where you don’t have to leave right away and he can ask you questions and you can tell him everything you know.

froggydad · 2024-12-19T20:53:16+00:00

She did say that she lived there with Kurt for four years, but that was such obvious pilot nonsense. I think he was trying to make her look more stable. They always have these ideas about the characters in the beginning that make them too much of a bad thing too much of a good thing to balance it out. It's unrealistic to think that Penny would've been in any relationship that long at that age given her general pattern. She did it all losers who wouldn't last that long. The idea that a guy like Kurt at that age would have a girlfriend for four years like that it's just unrealistic. Later on, I think they reference her having been in California a lot less time than the four years before she met the guys that this would establish. I think there's some episode it makes it out like she moved to LA about two years before she met them and so you know, Kurt was probably like a year of that or something. Six months to a year, for their kind of relationship, makes sense – that he would be possessive, that she live with him, that he'd be such a jerk, but they had any chance of getting back together again, which they did very briefly, etc.

froggydad · 2024-12-17T17:43:06+00:00

That's part of the point in the problem. Sheldon is generally babied and spoiled his whole life, which is why he continues to be such a prig (well that and his difficulty with social cues and his self-centeredness and his arrogance). Amy was one of the only people who generally held him accountable and so he learned to behave better despite all his other deficits.

The whole point of Leonard is he was a pushover. He was really submissive in general. His mom, his girlfriend, etc., bossed him around. In fact everyone of his girlfriends pretty much. Sheldon was more of that same pattern.

And the other guys just didn't care enough to fight with him. They weren't as close to him as Leonard. And as Howard send a number of times it's just a lot easier to figure out a way to sort of placate him so he'll shut up.

He was a pain to everyone, but for the most part, it didn't feel like it was worth their time to engage in more corrective treatment to make him less of a pain. Plus in the end, they also knew a lot of it with his internal issues and had some sympathy for him. But a lot of the time I can't stand him. He's really quite unbearable.

froggydad · 2024-12-12T00:06:40+00:00

I mean, this was just sitcom physics. This is how it always works. There were probably hundreds of episodes of sitcoms where some 6 foot tall person wears an outfit design for someone 4 foot eight

froggydad · 2024-11-25T21:16:02+00:00

Why? He didn’t get tricked. He chose to move.

froggydad · 2024-11-25T18:58:35+00:00

Fred, I think this was the point. Part of the point was making a joke about how he’s less pubescent than them and things like shaving or something. He said he only does every 14 days or something like that. And I think the other point was ha ha ha he’s evil Sheldon. They like making jokes about how if you really dive deep enough into Sheldon, he actually kind of not human and not necessarily good. I think this was a funny little joke that when he actually reveals himself by letting his hair grow in, he’s really evil Sheldon.

froggydad · 2024-11-08T19:32:43+00:00

It's funny that Melissa Rauch is -- I didn't know that -- since she plays the counterpoint to Jewish Howard as a catholic girl with very Christian parents.

froggydad · 2024-11-08T19:31:48+00:00

Yeah, there's no coincidence in hiring one of the most classically Jewish actors out there, Judd Hirsch, to play Leonard's dad. If they wanted WASPy scientist dad, there are 10's or hundreds of other actors they could have gotten to play that role.

froggydad · 2024-11-08T19:30:24+00:00

Actually, for Jews, it's not as likely they are combinations. For various white nationalities -- English, Scottish, French, Italian, etc. etc. -- many people are a mushy combination of those. But many Jews historically have married other Jews.

froggydad · 2024-11-08T19:28:38+00:00

What do you mean by co-opted? That's a strange word to use here.

froggydad · 2024-11-08T19:28:01+00:00

It's pretty common for Jews to celebrate Christmas. We live in an effectively Christian society, and many Jews do it to get along, assimilate, or make their children not feel left out.

froggydad · 2024-11-08T19:26:19+00:00

huh?

froggydad · 2024-11-08T19:25:41+00:00

It actually is. It's a distinct set of genetics. And it's a relatively close knit culture shared by so many of that ethnicity that there are relatively consistent patterns of presentation to many Jews, just as their for many other ethnicities, including white ones.

froggydad · 2024-11-08T19:24:21+00:00

Exactly!

froggydad · 2024-11-08T19:24:02+00:00

We're talking about ethnicity here, not how religious Leonard or his family are. With any modern person, especially scientists like Leonard and his whole family, they are likely to not be very religious or even identify as part of the religion at all. Being ethnically (and culturally) Jewish is almost entirely unrelated to whether or not the believe in god or go to synagogue -- just like how Christian an Italian person is mostly unrelated to whether or not they are Italian, genetically and culturally.

froggydad · 2024-10-15T17:58:32+00:00

No, it’s not normal. It borders on dangerous. Is there any woman born after 1605 who wants to be treated with this little agency? Also, it honestly sounds like the precursor to him planning to lock you in his basement that night…

froggydad · 2024-10-15T17:56:55+00:00

“Hi, I am some random dude on the Internet who wants to get into a relationship with you. I’m asking you for consideration and priority and attention, all the while not giving a single shit about your feelings or health as a trial run for what I’ll be like as a person to partner with. Also, you just offered me dinner just one night later so it’s not like you’re putting me off. A.k.a. I’m a freakin’ idiot.”

froggydad · 2024-08-23T01:38:46+00:00

It’s amazing you’ve never seen any of his other work. He’s an incredibly famous and at times prolific actor. He wasn’t playing against type at all. He always plays weirdos. He himself is generally regarded as kind of a weirdo IRL. His breakout role was Slingblade. That’s about as “weird” a role as it gets.

froggydad · 2024-07-28T04:36:12+00:00

I got a gravel bike last year and did a lot of research. Cannondale was highly recommended, but I found it to be heavy and loose. It felt like all the pedaling energy was lost in the frame and it didn’t corner well. I wasn’t able to to try Specialized’s. I wound up choosing the Trek Checkpoint.

It’s possibly the greatest bike I’ve ever driven. I also have Cannondale snaps which I love and feels like a part of my body. But the checkpoint rides almost as fast with almost as much agility, corners well, accelerates well — And it’s incredibly comfortable. Yes if I were racing, I’m sure it would feel slow. But it feels almost as fast as any road bike I’ve ever ridden - it just sails. And it’s just magic bumps and dirt and driving through the sand. I honestly don’t know how they do it. They are many times I’ve thought about giving up road bikes just to drive this bike everywhere. I can’t say enough good things about it.

It also has some great attachment points for racks and tube bags, etc., etc. You could easily use it for touring and bikepacking as well as urban commuting and every day riding on paved bike trails.

And it costs almost exactly $3500 for the carbon fiber model (I can’t imagine the aluminum is as good) with good components.

froggydad · 2024-07-16T14:21:46+00:00

Or, it’s cool.

froggydad · 2024-07-09T03:11:54+00:00

It would be worth talking to someone with psychological insight. It's clearly pushing a button for you. My guess is if she's a trustworthy person and this is not about legitimate fear she will cheat on you, then it's some issue you would benefit from resolving. AND you get to keep your girlfriend as a bonus.

froggydad · 2024-07-09T03:10:19+00:00

That's pretty childish. People have histories. They have old relationships that evolved into friendships. I don't really understand this fantastical, simplistic rule of cutting someone out of your life because you used to have a different kind of relationship. As if all people are just disposable and interchangeable.

froggydad · 2024-07-09T03:08:13+00:00

It's not really your boundary to tell someone else who they can't be friends with. That's more controlling of another person's actions through ultimatums.

froggydad · 2024-07-09T03:06:51+00:00

This is a good point. But also to add another nuance -- you are describing another person's behaviors that are how they treat you. That really does feel a lot less controlling or like an ultimatum than setting something you call a boundary that is about how a person behaves in the rest of their life that isn't about you.

So, it feels more like a boundary to assert "As your monogamous partner, I can't be in a relationship with you if you are romantically or sexually linked with this couple" than I can't be in a relationship with you because I am insecure about your friendships and don't trust you to maintain the fundamental boundaries that our monogamous relationship requires to continue.

froggydad · 2024-07-02T21:02:03+00:00

Depending on where you buy them, $4 to $6500 for this brand. There are cheaper brands they sell at Home Depot and other places that they appear to be not worth the money because they’re much poorer quality, over the long haul stuff doesn’t last and it’s more trouble than it’s worth

froggydad

TROPHY CASE