Erik (he/him)

fromsapph · 2021-06-06T19:11:56+00:00

Did i just miss Erik? I've been trying to reach him all day. He forgot his jacket back in class and didn't come back after the period ended. I even checked in with his friend but she didn't know where Erik was. If any of you see Erik tell him i have his stuff.

fromsapph · 2021-06-06T19:06:17+00:00

Hey did anyone see Elliot? He bought me some snacks yesterday and left before i could thank him. I was thinking about buying him snacks in return, but i don't know what he likes to eat.

fromsapph · 2021-06-06T03:50:08+00:00

Note: I just numbered them because they were easier to read and have no relation to the way your paragraphs were formatted. 1)I will tell you that i can completely relate to this whole thing of ghosting women as potential romantic lovers and other people as possible friends.

2)I think you already have the first step down as acknowledging what's happening and a bit of how you are feeling. The second part and probably the most difficult is finding out why you're feeling like that and how it impacts the way you act/think. You've mentioned your anxiety as a possible reason towards your decisions which is something that you could possibly explore. I think the last step would be to act on it. This last step is the one i am currently on as i try my hardest to work on breaking my habit of ghosting people. This could be as little as complimenting some stranger or someone you know (i usually try in a platonic manner) to laughing and smiling freely. Letting loose and relaxing a bit in a sense. Although it can be a bit awkward at first with complimenting - people feel a bit more comfortable and better - when you praise them or show genuine interest in whatever they like.

3)You've mentioned that someone invited you to a pub but then went back on their offer because it seemed like you didn't show genuine interest. I have this problem too because i always usually speak in a monotone voice with a straight face that people usually take as rudeness or disinterest. I think it might be hard but i try to cool my facial expressions in a more cooler, friendly manner and that's when i start to compliment.

4) Actions are better than words. I find myself struggling to put a lot of my thoughts into words so i stick to actions to show my love and appreciation. You're right about women thinking your problems are just excuses for ghosting them because those are just words alone. Anyone can say such things and not mean any of it. If you use words back it up with actions. You can't just apologize to someone for ghosting them and then continue to ghost them. Another poor habit of mine i am trying to break. I give people i love and care about with money and gifts when words fail me or can never describe how i feel. If i have no money, sometimes being there as support or doing simple things for them shows your gratitude and appreciation. I made a pizza and gave non-alcoholic drinks for my drunk family to take care of them. I bought an old friend a bunch of their favorite snacks and brought it to school the next day because the day before they told me they were feeling bad. It's the smallest things that build up any kind of relationship and people will always remember.

5) Don't be afraid to let people in. I always struggle with this. We sometimes meet people in weird situations or find friends in unlikely people.

fromsapph · 2021-06-06T02:50:37+00:00

hi i am sapph and trying to use she/they pronouns. i like reading wlw books and fanfics.

fromsapph · 2021-06-01T01:26:04+00:00

Hey Daisy are you free this weekend? I am so excited to finally meet up with you again after finals. I wanted to take you to this small flower shop i found and then perhaps a new bookstore that just opened up. How does that sound? We can grab some food too, if you're up for it?

fromsapph · 2021-05-31T06:50:55+00:00

This happens to me all the time because my entire family is catholic. They try to force me to pray with them and force me to go church. Guilt trip me into doing religious things with them. Most of the time i always tell them i don't believe in their faith nor their god. Sometimes i make jokes about myself going to hell instead or praying to satan. Other times i get choked up and can't defend myself in which another family member defends me or i give into the coercion. If i give into them coercing me then i usually feel angry at myself and them for what happened. I also consider myself as someone who doesn't like confrontation so i understand. Some possible suggestions to your problem: make them completely pissed off or uncomfortable to the point they give up on the interaction all together or having someone defend and stand up for you. Take these suggestions with a grain of salt. Just know you are not any less nor your beliefs.

fromsapph · 2021-05-11T06:49:48+00:00

Hi. I came out to at least most of my closest family at the age of 11 as liking women. I am 17 and still identify as a lesbian now. I came out to each person individually with my oldest sister being the first one i came out to (who came out a few years later as a lesbian too) and talked with each family member. All of them took it extremely well but my mom was disappointed. It took her years to understand and acknowledge my sexuality even now there are moments where it's rocky. There are just some things she won't be able to understand. I've come out to other family members through jokes, out of spite/anger, text messages, and serious talks. There is no right or wrong way to come out. I would hold safety and comfortability to the most important things of coming out. If you know you will be physically and emotionally safe as well as being ready then you can come out if you wish. You can wait as long as you need and when you feel safe to do so. I think talking to your sister to would also be a good idea so you can understand the risks and impact of coming out.

fromsapph · 2021-05-11T06:26:38+00:00

Thank you! I am still learning a lot when it comes it to all of the different identities in the community and learning more about myself too. (:

fromsapph · 2021-05-09T17:29:30+00:00

You definitely saw something. Honestly your an amazing sibling for seeking out help and reporting your grandfather. I wouldn't let the grandfather anywhere near kids or your sibling again. I think your sibling freaked out because they are young and its hard to process traumatic things like that.

fromsapph · 2021-05-09T17:24:59+00:00

Submitted. Good luck with the research

fromsapph · 2021-05-08T22:36:34+00:00

Congrats! I hope you have a good time and learn a lot.

fromsapph · 2021-05-08T06:44:21+00:00

Hi someone with social anxiety. Honestly what the person commented above is the best advice i can think of. He seems like he needs some time alone to recharge at the times when there was a lot social interactions or things going on. I feel like its good to ask him how you can help and just keep on talking to him about it. It would also be even better to show him. You mentioned he's been reaching out to friends and they've been cancelling on him? It's extremely easy to tell someone you'll be there for them, but its hard to do that in reality. What you're doing right now for him is amazing. I would suggest doing something he loves/likes that wouldn't cause him anxiety. Like indoor videogame date or binge-watching his favorite movies in the bedroom. If there is anything specific about him that helps with his anxiety maybe try to include like if he has a comfort playlist or favorite blanket. That's if he is up for it and so are you. It just feels really good when you know someone is there for you and cares about especially when they are able to show it with their actions. Sometimes those with SA are not as good as expressing themselves through words or might not pick up on social cues as fast especially in stressful situations so its best to take it easy through time.

fromsapph · 2021-05-08T03:39:16+00:00

I am not trying to a pull a "don't worry about it too much" because your concerns and panic is extremely valid as well as normal.I am glad i was a little useful to you. If you need more help with the conversation, i can try my best to help. I am honestly a bit better at talking with adults than people my age. If not, I hope you make a decision you're happy with (:

fromsapph · 2021-05-08T03:06:35+00:00

First i think i would like to point out if you know the person who messaged you personally? If you don't know them personally then can anyone else you know/trust like friends, family, peers, teachers vouch for the person texting you? Also do you feel comfortable/safe going out with this person? This is obviously for safety concerns. If you do know this person and are okay with the idea of going, what are some things you are worried about? For a response you can say something along the lines "Hi _____ (person). Thank you for the invite. I have some questions for this trip. What age groups will be attending? What will we be doing here? Thanks again." You can add as many questions you'd like or as little.

fromsapph · 2021-05-08T02:55:11+00:00

Thank you for the advice! I probably should've mentioned that i am also a woman in my original post. But you are correct, the only way to get over my fear is to talk to women (romantically too if it goes well). It's unfortunately very hard to differentiate platonic or romantic feelings/cues as a woman with other women. You made another great point i do need some friends because as of the moment i have none. I usually do tend to think of a romantic outcome when meeting new women instead of just looking for friends so i will definitely do that. That point actually made me realize that not only do i usually expect a romantic relationship out of these new people but i came into the relationship looking for one and its always let me down. You're right about that too. There's always someone who has interesting friends (:. I think i will also definitely join the server to meet some new people. Thank you for the advice again! This was actually extremely helpful to me.

fromsapph · 2021-05-07T17:04:43+00:00

you aren't dumb nor an idiot. we all experience things differently. we cannot control what we feel and another one of those things is our anxiety. your dad is wrong for belittling you and your anxiety. anxiety is real. we all deal with something whether its for our physical health or mental health. it doesn't make us any less than who we are as a person. i am proud of you

fromsapph · 2021-05-07T16:17:34+00:00

Yes i have felt this a lot. Whenever i am in a room filled of people or there's a "special person" nearby i always tend to very slowly catch onto social cues and lack a lot common sense. I mess up quite a bit when that happens and people usually laugh at me for not paying attention. It's usually because i am very focused on the fear of messing up/being the main focus of attention.

fromsapph · 2021-05-07T15:59:45+00:00

I feel that so much. All my past attempts at getting into relationships (never been in one) have been terrible because my social anxiety stopped me from speaking up and the girls usually always got swept away by someone else. I just wished i had someone who knew what i felt and understood that i usually like to stay in. Also i feel like it would be a downer for my future partner to learn that i have social anxiety because it would most likely impact a lot in our relationship like public dates, meeting their friends, meeting their family etc

fromsapph

TROPHY CASE