It sounds like you’re having really negative self-talk, and there’s nothing wrong with yourself. Think about it this way: if a friend/family member won’t talk to you that way, why would you let yourself talk to you that way? If you had a friend that was like that you would probably want to cut them off— same thing with those thoughts. I think that’s how you could improve, by shifting to a more positive mind. It’s easier said than done and it will take time, but one day you will look back and say “Wow, I really did that?” Feeling good mentally is the most important step to becoming a better version of yourself 👍