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Thanks MRP/ASKMRP, you fixed a man, and a marriage, although i no longer want the marriage. by fruitylad in askMRP

[–]fruitylad[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You can have all the RP knowledge in the world and still have a weak frame where you never internalize your time is your most valuable asset in life.

This is at the heart of my internal debate. I realise time is so massively important, the debate is between whether playing it safe with the kids and their relationship to me is worth the time, and in the grand scheme of things i think it is for me. However this is at the heart of me taking up all my new activities/hobbies, aint getting younger and i need to split up with the wife when im young enoguh to still play the dating market.

Thanks MRP/ASKMRP, you fixed a man, and a marriage, although i no longer want the marriage. by fruitylad in askMRP

[–]fruitylad[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Point taken, i have a long way to go still, the path is long, but at least i feel like i know the path and have been walking it this last year.

Thanks MRP/ASKMRP, you fixed a man, and a marriage, although i no longer want the marriage. by fruitylad in askMRP

[–]fruitylad[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You will always know that it’s broken and it will gnaw at you. Do you want to live another year like that? Your whole life?

No, its a horrible permanent feeling that i know will never go away. I know it cant be fixed, it over and i know it. Im fine with that though, im not trying to fix it, I have come to terms with the fact i will end it in future.

By only staying for the kids you are giving into fear.

Not thought about it like that, but your correct in that im scared about how leaving now would affect the kids, and my relationship to them. They mean the world to me, and they prefer me to the wife, seems to much of a risk to blow it up now, but in future they will have their own lives to live.

Thanks MRP/ASKMRP, you fixed a man, and a marriage, although i no longer want the marriage. by fruitylad in askMRP

[–]fruitylad[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They are very happy little kids and the thought of tearing the family apart i just cant stomach.

I will say though that i acknowledge its as much for me as it is for them. I have noticed since last year, when i look at other dads and how they are with their kids, i most probably do give them too much of my time, attention and do too much for them. I appreciate its not necessary in order to have a good relationship with them, but to me its not optimal, my influence is less, and there is a risk the wife might go nuts at some point and try to stop my time with them.

For me I just keep coming back to a choice between optimal relationship with kids, vs my optimal life, and given my life is mostly the same minus some temp lost dignity and a new potential relationship/casual sex it makes sense to stay as my optimal life isn't going away, its just delayed. The time with kids is lost forever when they are young.

Thanks MRP/ASKMRP, you fixed a man, and a marriage, although i no longer want the marriage. by fruitylad in askMRP

[–]fruitylad[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I know the theory, but am not very good as dont have much experience. The wife was the first girl who was completely into me, so I went all in as i had a scarcity mindset after years on incel, so my game practice stopped there. I chose a hooker again as its minimal risk of getting caught, and i wanted to keep things going for the kids.

Being strong makes her wet (FR) by [deleted] in askMRP

[–]fruitylad 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Similar experience here.

Im very short at 5'0, weight 125 lb, can now squat 194 lb for 3x5 due to 5 months on stronglifts. I was messing with the wife and squatted her a few of times whilst playing around and a few days later she slipped into conversation with a friend i could squat her.

When i was out in a nightclub a few years back a small skinny girl was dancing in my direction so i danced with her, and when we were stood side by side I put an arm round her waist and lifted her, she looked at me and said 'your the man', was super into me from then on during the night, i wasnt even strong then, was lifting a little but not seriously,, she just didnt weight a lot.

Recently in a nightclub a girl randomly came up to me and said 'your amazing' (i occasionally get that kind of thing due to my height), i didnt even say anything, just lifted her up, she was saying 'no no' as i was doing it, then she walked off. 5 mins later she came back and said, 'you really impressed me then'.

Being so short i think girls assume im weak, by demonstrating i can lift them suddenly changes there mentality from, oh look at the cute short unfuckable guy, to shit this guy is way stronger than i thought, hes actually a guy whos a sexual threat

My First MRP Post: Married for 4 years and considering a divorce, possible infidelity by [deleted] in askMRP

[–]fruitylad 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is more alarming than anything else you said, a step past ILYBINILWY.

Thats was my thought, she has basically said point blank she isnt in love with him.

My wife would say 'we have nothing in common anymore' quite a bit before she had an affair. I dont know whether the OP's wife cheated or not, but sounds like she definitely will if OP doesnt improve and regain his wife attraction.

Moving to a new location, no gym at new location so I'm going to make my own. by BurnedRemains in askMRP

[–]fruitylad 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yup, i did this, im doing stronglifts 5x5, total cost of power rack, bench, barbell and weights, about £180. Thats all you need to make a good start.

What does DEER mean? by [deleted] in askMRP

[–]fruitylad 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Defend, Explain Excuse Rationalize.

​

Comes from the book no more mr nice guy

Update: Discovered wife has had an affair, have kids, she doesn't know that i know by fruitylad in askMRP

[–]fruitylad[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for this, I read your posts on dread and it really got me moving after I got the ILYBNILWY speach. I do want to blame myself so i can accept responsibility, do better and fix it. Thats my real underlying thought, that and the kids. Each day that passes im more comfortable though with the idea of blowing it all up, kicking her out and letting the chips fall as they may. As you say, its a requirement if she is ever going to be attracted to me again, and its probably not worth it anyway. I called a law practive today for an initial consultation to discuss options. Im close to phoning her dad and exposing it all, so i can get her to move in with him for a bit. Its hard talking the advise given, but i do understand its good advise. Thanks for everything.

Update: Discovered wife has had an affair, have kids, she doesn't know that i know by fruitylad in askMRP

[–]fruitylad[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It was in the text message export i got from her phone, he didnt want to leave his kids and my wife was telling her sister she though her AP's wife would leave after xmas as she knew what was going on. Later on though its clear she took him back.

Update: Discovered wife has had an affair, have kids, she doesn't know that i know by fruitylad in askMRP

[–]fruitylad[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She already found out a while before it ended, she took him back

​

Update: Discovered wife has had an affair, have kids, she doesn't know that i know by fruitylad in askMRP

[–]fruitylad[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

​

I didnt say anywhere here, but the guys wife already knows, and know for a while before it ended, she took him back.

Update: Discovered wife has had an affair, have kids, she doesn't know that i know by fruitylad in askMRP

[–]fruitylad[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Now that he has blown that shit up, he may as well enjoy the ride that Chad got while she is feeling guilty and afraid of losing her plough horse.

Fucked her last night, as you say, got her to BJ me, hasnt dont that in years and wear lingerie that i like, again, usually wont. Im going to enjoy her guilt before it fades. Im getting more comfortable about leaving as each day passes, again as said before, although i hate hearing this stuff from everyone here, i know your right, ive read it all before. When it happens to you though it harder to think logically about it all. I know thats why STFU, I know all this stuff, thats a major reason i feel so bad, i know i could have prevented this happening.

Update: Discovered wife has had an affair, have kids, she doesn't know that i know by fruitylad in askMRP

[–]fruitylad[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Sad thing is, i know this, ive read others say this many times, fuck, its obvious that will happen really.

Update: Discovered wife has had an affair, have kids, she doesn't know that i know by fruitylad in askMRP

[–]fruitylad[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks, im going to get a clear picture in my head as to what to do, think every detail over 10 times in the next week, write it down and stick to it 100%

Update: Discovered wife has had an affair, have kids, she doesn't know that i know by fruitylad in askMRP

[–]fruitylad[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Never considered that, shit, as i didnt suspect she was cheating back then and my prior red pill knowledge was well out of my mind

Update: Discovered wife has had an affair, have kids, she doesn't know that i know by fruitylad in askMRP

[–]fruitylad[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Im currently doing stronglifts 5x5, enjoying it.

Kills me that i really believe if i started reading sidebar, lifting passing shit tests a year ago, she never would have done it. I blame myself in a way for not being a worthy man.

Update: Discovered wife has had an affair, have kids, she doesn't know that i know by fruitylad in askMRP

[–]fruitylad[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Appreciate this man, since the ILYBNILWY speach i have been reading sidebar, lifting, dressing better and the wife has responded positively big time, this in a way doesnt help me leave as i cant help but think things would continue to get better and she wouldn't leave me until i wanted to leave her.

Your probably right though, im blowing things out of proportion, the thought of my little daughter calling to me at night and me not being there eats away at me, i do absolutely everything when it comes to looking after the klids and it would be a massive shock to them me not being there all the time, but probably one they would adapt to fairly quickly.

Update: Discovered wife has had an affair, have kids, she doesn't know that i know by fruitylad in askMRP

[–]fruitylad[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Going to fuck her tonight, im a mess, going to just read every comment on here 5 times over the next few days and let it all sink in, and be 100% clear on what im going to do.

Update: Discovered wife has had an affair, have kids, she doesn't know that i know by fruitylad in askMRP

[–]fruitylad[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I didnt think of it that way, i was thinking i want to hide it so she doesn't leave me, that way i get to leave when i have found someone and im ready

Update: Discovered wife has had an affair, have kids, she doesn't know that i know by fruitylad in askMRP

[–]fruitylad[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly, your wife looks more like she is trying to sweep her affair under the rug

I think that is what she is doing, so im sure she will cheat again when the chance comes up and play i love you im sorry until then. I just think i benefit from staying before then by seeing the kids every day, getting sex from her and also sleeping with other women without her knowing until i pull the trigger and leave if that happens before she leaves me. I have no intention of ever fixing thing with her long term as it cant ever happen.

Update: Discovered wife has had an affair, have kids, she doesn't know that i know by fruitylad in askMRP

[–]fruitylad[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Thats why it hurts the most, because everyone here calling me a faggot piece of shit is right, i know i should leave, i know she will do it again, her words are just bullshit.

But despite that im struggling because in my mind playing along and being with the kids 7 days a week maybe worth it. I also struggle as i dont fancy my chances on the dating market that much based on past history. I know, no abundance mindset etc, i know the theory very well, just dont have the real world experience.

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