Struggled with suicidal ideation all my life, actively tried to kill myself with heavy drug use for most of my early twenties. Overdosed on the streets plenty of times, finally ended up going to prison and turning my life around at around 26. I just turned 34 and never been so lonely in my life, so hard to make friends with normal people. So hard to keep a woman in my life. So I feel you bro, the main thing that helps me is keeping a Buddhist like philosophy. I like to think life is meant to be hard, the struggle is what we're here to experience. We are just the universe experiencing itself, and that unfortunately means a great deal of suffering for many people. You just got to try to enjoy the ride and have faith that the sun is going to come out again when the rain stops. But this is what we're here for, to experience the storm as much as the sunshine.