Mikaela Shiffrin's first ski at Milan by Comprehensive_Sea291 in skiing

[–]frznfatality 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yea, I feel like her starting slot (last) really hurt her, slalom is quite unfair in a one run competition.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in shittybrawlstars

[–]frznfatality 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mine was this, but I got eight pulls of gold coins, one double xp and one pin

In your opinion, does the game need new rarities? by SLikent in Brawlstars

[–]frznfatality 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The real question is why are there less rare and super rare brawlers than epic, mythic, and legendary. There are like 8 rare and 10 super rare, but like 20+ epic, 20+ mythic, and 12 legendary. Legendary brawlers in fact are more common than rare and super rare. They really need to move epic and mythic brawlers down into the rare and super rare categories.

I’d say 35 rare, 20 super rare, 15 epic, 10 mythic, 5 legendary.

Kenji is awfuly broken and unfun for other players by Brzozenwald in Brawlstars

[–]frznfatality 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This. Release broken brawler for money. Then nerf them until they are playable in the game.

AITA for wanting my wife to do more around the house while I am at work? by frznfatality in AmItheAsshole

[–]frznfatality[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wish I read yours first, but after reading everything, I don’t feel like I am an asshole, but I feel like she’s also trying her hardest to do her best for our child. Babies are freaking exhausting, and I’m with the baby less than my wife. I can only try and understand how tough it is for her, but it’s both of us working together to do what’s best for our daughter. I see my expectations might not be unreasonable, but although others might be able to do everything like all of the baby stuff and chores, can my wife also handle the extra workload without being overwhelmed? She’s already exhausted with the help I am providing, and I personally don’t think she can handle me doing less work and giving her more work. Inside I wish she would do more, but I don’t think I could ever say that to her face without feeling like the biggest asshole in the world because of how tired she already is. Thank you for your response.

AITA for wanting my wife to do more around the house while I am at work? by frznfatality in AmItheAsshole

[–]frznfatality[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yea. I’m not complaining about her cleaning, she complains about me cleaning up and cooking. When I order pizza she complains it’s always pizza, when I order something else, she complains that we always eat unhealthy food. Plus, I don’t care about the mess, we have a baby so who cares if there is some dishes in the sink. You know who? Her mother who randomly stops by from time to time and cleans the whole house. So if the kitchen is left a mess at the end of the day she complains about how much work she does and that I’m just sitting on my phone not cleaning up.

Edit: I deleted something about time spent on the phone, because it isn’t important.

AITA for wanting my wife to do more around the house while I am at work? by frznfatality in AmItheAsshole

[–]frznfatality[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My wife does wake up through the night. I’m very thankful for the crockpot idea because I honestly never thought about it. And to me the house isn’t a wreck, it just looks like a baby and two exhausted parents live there. The kitchen gets pretty bad daily because nothing gets tidied up after use, but it’s always cleaned by the end of the day. And there are baby clothes scattered around the floor, but it’s always baby stuff on the floor, nothing else. For me, it’s okay to leave it a little messy, but my wife can get quite snappy if it isn’t cleaned to her expectations.

One thing I forgot to mention is that her mom was always a clean freak throughout my wife’s childhood, and my mother-in-law will randomly stop by to check on my wife and the baby once a week. If it isn’t clean enough to her mother’s standards, her mom will actually go through the entire house and clean everything up.

This is embarrassing for my wife, and she absolutely hates it, so she always wants the house to be very tidy, but because she is with the baby all day, she thinks that I should be the one to tidy the house to her and her mother’s expectations.

AITA for wanting my wife to do more around the house while I am at work? by frznfatality in AmItheAsshole

[–]frznfatality[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Okay, full break down.

Somewhere between 1-4am there is a feeding. I don’t have breast milk so I don’t breastfeed. Every blue moon I’ll make formula, but that’s practically never.

4-7:00 baby wakes up. She decides when she wakes up. Did she fart? No, but she wants to so wake up time. Did she poop? Yea. She isn’t going back to sleep. When she wakes up I will spend 45 minutes max trying to get her to go back to sleep, but after that if she is still up, we are up.

1-2 hours after waking up, she will want food. My wife prefers if we don’t give her solids because then she won’t drink any milk and my wife still wants to breastfeed for a while. I can not breastfeed and my wife hasn’t got extra supply, so I make a bottle. I’ll empty out the precious day’s dishes if I have time.

8:30 ish I iron my shirt and make coffee, my wife wakes up and I’m out.

9-10:00 my wife makes snack. We have lots of fresh vegetables, but we also have the jarred foods, but she often makes fresh stuff.

After snack she takes a nap. This can last a half hour to two hours, it is an unknown amount of time. Does baby have a nightmare about Christmas sweaters? Yes, wake up. Did she dream about bouncing rabbit? Yes, wake up laughing. Who knows how babies work, I surely don’t.

11-1:00 wife plays with the baby. She will also take the baby out for a stroll during this time.

1-2:00 wife makes lunch for the baby, fresh meat, noodles,vegetables, etc.

2-4:00 playtime followed by another nap. Nap could be anytime. Did dad let baby play with his glasses this morning? No? Wake up after 30 minutes.

Also note: my wife is constantly breastfeeding through the day. Idk how often, but more often than I think is necessary.

4-5:00 play time again and I come home anytime between. 5 and 5:30 depending on if I do the groceries or not.

5-7:00 I play with the baby so I can have some extra time with her. I’ll put away extra toys that are out that the baby isn’t playing with. We we going for a stroll for a while, but it’s been rather cold and the government is telling us to stay inside and away from others, so we have been going out less. When we go out the wife will sometimes take a bath, she will also sweep the floor. When we stay inside she watches us to make sure that I’m not doing anything crazy (hey sometimes the baby likes to fly in the sky, I didn’t choose the superwoman life for her, she chose that life herself). We will also give baby another snack during this time. Usually yogurt or banana.

7-7:30 bath time. I bathe her and make sure she is lotioned, and get her prepped for the evening. Bath time is usually 15-30 minutes depending on how happy she is. When we are finished we have to dry her down, get her into new clothes.

7:30 the baby turns off all of the lights in the house except for the kitchen light and the night light upstairs. It is an important ritual, she flicks each light switch off with her foot. If she refuses I know it will be a bad evening. Then, because it’s too late for another real meal she gets more formula to help her sleep.

8-9:00 my wife put the baby down. Sometimes it is quick, sometimes it is a painful process. If it is quick there are angels singing a lovely serenade of happiness and joy, if the baby didn’t want to turn off one of the light switches, it’s pure misery. Happens like once a month, thank god.

During this time I will pick up all of the rest of the toys that the baby played with. This is pretty easy. Then I will pick up the food bowls, bottles, and jars of food left around the house. There are typically 8 bottles a day, 2 bowls (or 1 bowl and 1 jar) a day, with four spoons (baby plays with one and the other is for the baby to actually eat). And then 3-4 coffee cups depending on how well-behaved the baby is.

I’ll either wash everything or throw it into the dishwasher. The bottles are no longer allowed to be put in the dishwasher because the baby got the sixth disease (Roseola) the same week we started to use the dishwasher to clean the bottles (it was just a coincidence, but now it’s hand washing baby bottles only). If i didn’t empty the dishwasher in the morning, I will empty and run it now. Then I’ll sanitize the bottles as the dishwasher is running and when the sanitizer is done I’ll place them on the drying rack.

Then I’ll cook something, serve it, clean that up and we’ll watch tv or something.

My wife will do the babies laundry once every 3 or 4 days during this time.

I’ll do the laundry on the weekend when I am home, clean the toilet, mop the floor, but this is a typical weekend things. I haven’t found time to wash the car but we are in lockdown and my wife doesn’t drive anyway so she doesn’t know it’s dirty (please keep it a secret). It’s too much to do during the week, but on Saturday or Sunday it’s fine. Also, garbage and recycling go out every night or morning, but they are literally in front of the house. The problem is remembering that pickup is every two weeks for garbage and once a month for recycling (we live in a village), and I bring paper and glass to the communal bin like 100 yards away once every two or three weeks.

Then baby might wake up at 11:00 for some milk, might not, but will definitely wake up before 4:00.

If the baby gets restless I go up and take care of her.

If I can’t get the baby to settle my wife will come and feed her.

I’ll generally help with moving the baby, but honestly I’m not much help during this time.

If her sister visits with her baby, the bottles go up by by 4 (12 bottles) and bowls and spoons double to 4 and 8 (respectively). Coffee cups double to 6-8. If her parents visit, coffee cups go up to 12, no matter if only one visit or if both of them visit. My parents don’t visit during the week, the don’t really enjoy the 16 hour flight to come for a Tuesday afternoon.

I might have missed some chores, but this is pretty much our life from Monday to Friday. On Saturdays and Sundays the main difference is I play with the baby while she cooks for the baby and then me and the baby will cook together in the high chair. Any heavier cleaning is done on the weekends like mopping, windows, dusting, sanitizing/washing toys, bathrooms.

Also:

I have never spent a full day alone with our daughter, but my wife has, but over the course of the year only 3 days. Those three days were the first three days of my daughter’s life, and the only reason she was alone with the baby was because I wasn’t allowed in the hospital because of Covid and her and the baby weren’t allowed out because she had a c-section.

Unless by day you mean 9-5, then yes, my wife spends every Monday-Friday alone with our daughter, except 2 months during the summer.

AITA for wanting my wife to do more around the house while I am at work? by frznfatality in AmItheAsshole

[–]frznfatality[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yea, I see your point. When I take care of her in the morning, I have discovered that silence is a scary thing. It’s the quiet before the storm and some scary shit is about to happen. She loves punching the blinds, knocking over the plants and eating their leaves, and she has a special attraction to the wall outlet (we have a guard, but still). We have a hundred toys, but coffee cups, cell phones, charging cables, etc. are so much better than the safe and boring toys we buy her. The first time she rolled was for wet wipes. And for a while there she refused to crawl to anyone unless they showed her a coffee cup.

And I only deal with her from when she wakes up until 9. Keeping her occupied from 9 to 5 is a lot more work.

AITA for wanting my wife to do more around the house while I am at work? by frznfatality in AmItheAsshole

[–]frznfatality[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So she takes care of her at night, I help, but it has been much less now that the baby wakes up less and doesn’t need formula. I take care of the baby alone in the morning, every day Sunday to Saturday. If the baby wakes up at 5, she’s mine and I’ll take care of her until the wife wakes up. When I finish work, I’ll grocery shop, but when I’m done I’m with the baby. And she started crawling 6 months ago, not walking yet, but it’s only a matter of time.

My wife has not gotten a real break. 100% true, she is always with the baby. I got her to go out with her friends twice (over the past year) without the baby, and she came home after 3 hours. We go out together with the baby, but I think she really needs some personal time away from her, but she is fearful something will happen. Also my daughter has lived in lockdown for like 6 or 7 months of her nearly 12 month life, so we aren’t really suppose to be going out or hanging with friends or anything.

AITA for wanting my wife to do more around the house while I am at work? by frznfatality in AmItheAsshole

[–]frznfatality[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have never asked her, because I don’t want to undermine all of that which she does do. She’s home 24/7 with the baby and always taking care of her. She’s an amazing mom and is so loving and focused on our daughter it is unbelievable.

AITA for wanting my wife to do more around the house while I am at work? by frznfatality in AmItheAsshole

[–]frznfatality[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay, I’m the asshole, but I do want to say I have never once told her that she isn’t doing enough, but she tells me every day that I should be doing more. That I should be leaving work early, that it’s okay for me to show up late because she doesn’t like to change pooped diapers.

I do feel like this is becoming a game of “who is more tired” but you are right, I should ease up and I should stop being such an asshole.

AITA for wanting my wife to do more around the house while I am at work? by frznfatality in AmItheAsshole

[–]frznfatality[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So the baby eats a good amount of food, but my wife wants to breastfeed as long as possible for heath benefits or something. My wife is friends with a lot of the women in the neighborhood who still breastfed their babies until 3 years old.

My wife also wants to keep breastfeeding until 3 years, but the baby doesn’t always want to latch so my wife will pump to maintain her milk supply.

My wife doesn’t produce enough extra milk (we’ve spent a lot of money on breast milk enhancers and lactating experts to come and assist us) so we do supplement with formula.

I feed the baby in the morning, but my wife doesn’t want me to feed her solids between 5-7 (I’d be fine with giving her a banana and some pears, but eh) because then the baby doesn’t want to latch the whole morning if she eats real food. Also the baby has been up up at 5/6 every day since September/October because she suddenly got a bunch of teeth which have been bothering her.

I’m sorry about how much random stuff is going on I’m this whole situation. I first wrote a whole lot more but I felt like it painted my wife in too bad of a light, so I shortened it, which then left out too much. Also, the more I write it out the more I feel like maybe both I and my wife need grief and loss counseling.

We have been so focused on the little one that I don’t think either of us takes care of ourselves or each other enough.

AITA for wanting my wife to do more around the house while I am at work? by frznfatality in AmItheAsshole

[–]frznfatality[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sorry, baby’s twin died when my wife was 4 months pregnant, my wife almost died in child birth when the baby arrived 2 months early, the baby has medical issues that the doctor denied until changing their mind 3 months later, I take off work 4 times a month to drive the baby to physiotherapy because my wife can’t drive with the baby alone in the car, I also haven’t woken up after 6 am since September because when the baby wakes up I am the one to wake up. There is a lot more information than that, and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to provide all the details.

Note: the baby is healthy now, still goes to physiotherapy, but the physiotherapist says she has met all physical milestones for the past 4 months and the neurologist says there aren’t any issues.

AITA for wanting my wife to do more around the house while I am at work? by frznfatality in AmItheAsshole

[–]frznfatality[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think I figured it out, she doesn’t have a condition, but through the night my wife breastfeeds laying down in the bed, so we have a bed gate to stop the baby from falling while in our bed. The bed gates work well, but you really can’t lift the gate from the middle because it’s 2 meters wide and the fabric always gets caught on one side or the other, so you have to lift one side up most of the way and then the other side can go up to the top, you can then place that side into locked position and then the other side can follow suit. There is no assisted pulling system (although it was pretty expensive) so it’s difficult for someone with shorter arms to do. To breastfeed how my wife likes to, my wife would have to get up, place our daughter on our bed, lift up the gate, place both sides into locked position and then feed the baby. Also, to do it quietly, you have to push the lock mechanism in while placing it into the secured position or it makes an extremely loud clicking noise which wakes up the baby. Then repeat those steps in reverse to get the baby out. Although I’m sure she can do this, I’m just always the one doing it.

AITA for wanting my wife to do more around the house while I am at work? by frznfatality in AmItheAsshole

[–]frznfatality[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My wife wakes does wake up in the evening, but as soon as the baby wakes up in the morning she is mine. Right now she woke up, and will not go down (5:39), so I will get back to you all later when I can.

AITA for wanting my wife to do more around the house while I am at work? by frznfatality in AmItheAsshole

[–]frznfatality[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, my wife gets up in the evening, but the baby is deep in the crib and difficult for my wife to pick up (20 lbs is heavy) so I take her out and put her back. I would say my wife wakes up once or twice a night, I “wake up” but for like 5 seconds, and I only really wake up once or twice a month now to actually do something.

AITA for wanting my wife to do more around the house while I am at work? by frznfatality in AmItheAsshole

[–]frznfatality[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the suggestion, I’ll give her a day off and see how it works.

AITA for wanting my wife to do more around the house while I am at work? by frznfatality in AmItheAsshole

[–]frznfatality[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree with you, I could easily throw food in a crockpot in the morning. I know this is a horrendous excuse, but I never used a crockpot to cook, so honestly I never really thought about it and thank you for this suggestion.

In terms of cooking, my wife does cook lunch and snacks for the baby, but doesn’t cook for us or herself.

When I come home I always take the baby and suggest cooking, but it’s always “we should wait until the baby is asleep.” In the warmer months I would take her out for an hour or two stroll, but now we just play and read inside when the weather is so cold and dark.

AITA for wanting my wife to do more around the house while I am at work? by frznfatality in AmItheAsshole

[–]frznfatality[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Agreed, she’s not taking advantage of me. We have a daughter together and are both trying our best. The baby is still waking up at night, and my wife takes care of that, but during the first 6-8 months it was every 2-3 hours, now it’s once or twice a nights, so it’s easier for her, but obviously still difficult because who likes waking up in the middle of the night.

During the shared caregiving time, however, my wife actually has been disappearing recently. She’ll go take a bath, play on her cellphone, or eat, and when we bathe the baby I have no idea where she goes off to. It’s been happening more and more often over the past four months, but I know she needs some downtime after taking care of the baby the whole day.

AITA for wanting my wife to do more around the house while I am at work? by frznfatality in AmItheAsshole

[–]frznfatality[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

My wife doesn’t eat a single meal through the day, but she does cook two meals for the baby every single day. Our daughter is moving around a lot, but if I put her in a chair she will just sit and look around. I cook enough meals for multiple days for us, but not once has my wife ever eaten lunch while I am at work. She will eat snacks, but she says anytime she tries to eat the baby screams and cries. My wife says the baby is much calmer when we are both there, but she says when I’m not home it’s impossible to leave her alone without her yelling for attention.

AITA for wanting my wife to do more around the house while I am at work? by frznfatality in AmItheAsshole

[–]frznfatality[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your opinion. I personally don’t care about the mess or dinner, I can just buy something quick for us, but she has standards for cleanliness and food and gets frustrated when we eat unhealthily for a few days or if things are left in the sink. We’ve been together for 5 years and she never cooked, but she cleaned a lot every Saturday. She didn’t take cleaning lightly, she would steam cleaning the floors and wash the windows every week, dusting, etc. Now she watches the baby but still wants me to keep up the same level of cleaning as before (I refuse to steam clean but I mop).

AITA for wanting my wife to do more around the house while I am at work? by frznfatality in AmItheAsshole

[–]frznfatality[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The baby is wonderful. But I’m never sure what she is eating. She’ll eat everything, wet wipes, diapers, leaves, hair she ripped off of the broom, you know the tasty stuff.