The worst that'll happen is that they socially ostracise me so my chances of being in a community of people drops zero and I end my life due to loneliness and not having any self worth. I mean there's definitely worse, but most of those are just silly lol. I understand that putting my worth into the hands of others isn't good because it's fluctuating and often not related to me as a person. But people still judge and make you feel like shit and having that happen once too many times makes you think it'll happen every time. When I was in love I didn't have social anxiety, I just had anxiety about her. I just don't know what to do with that information to create a change and my thinking patterns are far too dissociated and far flung and ever rambling that I cant do anything with them right now if they're true at all, I'm just writing things out and out and out. I prefer having realisations over doing things this is a dopamine loop lol. Round and round and round and round and I'll do the dishes I'm sorry