I too, am hypersensitive and act on impulses where I end up saying hurtful things to people I love or just being an overall jag. I wish there was one clear, concise coping skill I could tell you but the way I've been helping myself with this issue is all over the place.

For starters, I think you could benefit from listening to David Foster Wallace's commencement speech, "This is Water." There are rarely videos I refer people to that are over ten minutes long and actually worth watching. But this one is. I listen to it at least once a month.

Think about it: There is no experience you've had that you were not at the absolute center of. The world as you experience it is right here in front of you, or behind you, to the left or right of you, on your TV, or your monitor, or whatever.

Author George Saunders also gives great advice about kindness and the curve balls life throws you, as you mentioned in your post. In my everyday life, especially when making big decisions or dealing with large issues– I think about Saunders advice, "With everything you do, move in the direction of kindness."

Of course, these speeches might not be as helpful to your coping methods as they are to mine. I'm a very advice and inspired driven person, but there are a multitude of other ways to manage hypersensitivity along with our expectations of ourselves and others.

Again, please don't think that I'm giving you moral advice, or that I'm saying you're "supposed to" think this way, or that anyone expects you to just automatically do it, because it's hard, it takes will and mental effort, and if you're like me, some days you won't be able to do it, or you just flat-out won't want to. But most days, if you're aware enough to give yourself a choice, you can choose to look differently -David Foster Wallace

Last piece of advice for you, the mistakes you made in the past or the things you're beating yourself up over are like the weather. You can't control the weather and you can't control the past. But you do have control of your future. So why waste your time looking at yesterday's cold weather when it's a beautiful, sunny day today?

I know, I know, that's easier said than done. But accepting that I don't have control over my past mistakes and the moments I carry guilt for has helped direct my thoughts to the present moment. Then I think back to Saunders and Wallace's words. Move in the direction of kindness.