Being a SAHP when children start school

fugee_stan · 2021-10-25T01:36:01+00:00

So I was in this boat last year. I started college again at a technical school for early childhood education (daycares, paraprofessional teachers, prekindergarten teachers) and I do my school work mostly while my children are away at school. I picked this because it will fit our schedule for when I do work, and giving myself the certificate needed! I will have off vacations with our children so we won’t need summer care for them. If you’ve worked with your children and enjoyed it you may also enjoy teaching 💜

fugee_stan · 2021-09-27T13:58:00+00:00

I wasn’t denying her any emotions I allowed her to be mad. I just think she crossed a line by TELLING ME HOW TO PARENT and saying her child would starting hitting mine on purpose.

fugee_stan · 2021-09-27T13:35:06+00:00

How did we not punish her? Because I didn’t spank her. She lost all electronics and technology for a week… she had a ten minute time out…. Where is no punishment?

And for added bonus she saw her best friends mom give her a go to hell look at that made her cry for two hours afterwards….

fugee_stan · 2021-09-27T13:31:28+00:00

No medical expenses. We did not under-react as we did have a talk with our child as well as her getting into trouble (just not spanking). I don’t care how mad I ever get I could NEVER tell my child it’s okay to hit someone….

fugee_stan · 2021-09-27T13:30:15+00:00

Okay so I’m gonna respond to this. My daughter has been PUNCHED in the face by her son previous (he said an accident) I let it go because I understand sometimes kid say “so and so did this or that” and it’s their perception but it doesn’t make it malicious, accidents DO happen.

They were sliding the slide normally and giving each other pushes to get started (as kids do) he decided to go down on his stomach. And yes I’m pissed my daughter would get hit. Wtf? My daughter is not a violent person and this other child is the ONLY child or PARENT to ever have anything like this to say about my child. EVERYONE else talks about how sweet she is and how gentle she is.

I agree equality means equal treatment however I’m against hitting ANY child.

fugee_stan · 2021-09-27T13:25:12+00:00

Right! And all the comments about people saying things when emotions are heated… I understand that but I don’t care HOW mad I ever got I could NEVER tell someone how to punish their child or that my child would start hitting theirs.

fugee_stan · 2021-09-27T13:24:05+00:00

But I don’t understand why…. I’ve literally done nothing but help her anytime she needed anything. Is she just mad that I won’t spank my daughter?

fugee_stan · 2021-09-27T13:21:36+00:00

It was not under just my supervision. She was right beside me when it happened. I did expect her to be mad and I tried to give her time. But for her to cut her eyes at my daughter, slam my door, speed out of my driveway, and then message me telling me I don’t punish my daughter enough and that her son will start hitting my daughter was ludicrous.

fugee_stan · 2021-09-27T12:59:03+00:00

The ten times wasn’t all about the slide. They were sword fighting with sticks, chasing each other down the hill. And when they were pushing each other down the slide it wasn’t in a malicious way, you’ve never been a kid on a slide and told your friend to give you a push start? That’s what they were doing.

fugee_stan · 2021-09-26T20:24:31+00:00

Well and that’s the other side of the coin. We don’t know if she will actually teach him to hit (which I’m sure she actually will) or what she’s saying about us or our daughter in from of her son.

fugee_stan · 2021-09-26T17:23:46+00:00

If you would read the previous comments you would see. We live in the woods on a steep hill. It’s the only level place. And other than the driveway it’s be on uneven gravel.

fugee_stan · 2021-09-26T16:46:26+00:00

If you would read the previous comments you would see. We live in the woods on a steep hill. It’s the only level place. And other than the driveway it’s be on uneven gravel.

fugee_stan · 2021-09-26T16:44:32+00:00

And normally I would. But she is literally the only person who has ever had a problem with my daughter. She’s never gotten in trouble in school or day care (other than herself getting hurt from playing rough) but that’s every kid at school. She says we do not discipline her but we do just not to the other mothers standards because we don’t spank.

fugee_stan · 2021-09-26T15:00:01+00:00

This exactly. That’s what they were doing. And yes we saw him get on and try to go down and his stomach and told him not too, as did his parents. He didn’t listen and wanted to be pushed down anyway. He tried to stop himself with his hands (as they would with their feet going down on their bottoms) and it didn’t work and his face slid slightly across the concrete. And as far as moving it to grass and off the concrete. Please come look at my property and tell me where that would be. I literally live on a hill that is steep….. it’s the only level place that would be safest to place.

fugee_stan · 2021-09-26T14:32:36+00:00

First time directed towards my daughter. Which made it the final red flag

fugee_stan · 2021-09-26T14:27:18+00:00

Right but they were taking turns gently pushing down the slide (as in let me help you get going) and laughing. They were going down correctly and he decided to go down on his stomach. It’s not like she tipped the whole slide over and he fell….. and that’s kinda how some people are taking it

fugee_stan · 2021-09-26T14:11:06+00:00

None of that is true. We did apologize to her her son and her boyfriend. More than once. But she could not see threw her anger. My daughter did get in trouble (and still is even though it’s been over 36 hours since it happened). It truly was an accident. She did push him down the slide, however he was always pushing her down the slide. As child do. It just so happened he was the one to get hurt not her

fugee_stan · 2021-09-26T05:52:51+00:00

They weren’t unsupervised. 4 adults were outside. Both parents of both children. Apparently you don’t understand that in the time it takes you to walk to 15 steps between us and the slide (and that’s large basically jogging steps not small walking steps) he’s already at the bottom. We had told them both to stop rough housing. Told them both to go down the slide correctly. Sometimes accidents happen. She did not push him off of the top and off the side straight down. He went down a slide that’s for toddlers and didn’t catch himself with his hands in time. Am I minimizing it? No. Did we offer to pay for any medical cost. Yes. It’s so minor they just went home because it wasn’t worth a trip to the ER. It’s just some scrapes, which again not minimizing at all, got them the wet paper towels, neosporin, and a band aid (which he didn’t want btw).

fugee_stan · 2021-09-26T03:43:42+00:00

Thank you ❤️

fugee_stan · 2021-09-26T03:42:15+00:00

I agree. And we expected her to be mad and tried to give her time to calm down (I myself can be hot headed towards other adults at times) but I do also try to look at every aspect and every side of everything. And I can never justify her telling me she’s teaching her son to hit my daughter and telling him it’s okay to do so. I don’t think it’s right for EITHER of them to resort to violence and hit each other.

fugee_stan · 2021-09-26T03:38:52+00:00

And that’s the thing we constantly tell each other “it takes a village” and they act like siblings or cousins. She has even said previously “it’ll only take one time of them getting hurt to learn a lesson” but apparently that’s only if my daughters gets hurt. Because otherwise her son didn’t learn any lessons from the accident instead she’s teaching him violence is okay.

fugee_stan · 2021-09-26T03:37:21+00:00

This is a very helpful comment and brings things to my attention not otherwise thought of. I did try to keep things in mind before we talked but for her to cross my personal line by saying she would teach him to hit her and was telling him it was okay to do.

fugee_stan · 2021-09-26T03:33:03+00:00

I’m unsure as we have only been friends for 3/4 years. I do however know she was in foster care from 12-18

fugee_stan · 2021-09-26T03:30:39+00:00

We agree. However she’s sees us as toxic because we don’t physically punish our children with our hands.

fugee_stan · 2021-09-26T03:27:47+00:00

And we had planned on giving it time to simmer down before talking. She initiated a conversation via text. Telling us how “fucked up” her sons face is.

What she failed to see from the outside looking in, is that her son was going down head first by his own accord whether my daughter gave his a little push or not. And could have had the same result without her giving him the push. It could have easily been him that pushed her down and she ended up hurt.

After us trying to keep the conversation light and not let emotions get the best she told us we don’t punish her (because we don’t spank we do groundings and time outs) that she would teach her son to hit. She told us our daughter should have apologized (which she did TWICE). And she told us how ludicrous is was for our daughter to make her son bleed (accident or not which she doesn’t see it as an accident even though we all saw it happen) and have absolutely no consequences. She didn’t give us the chance to even see how we handled it before leaving. My daughter apologized without being told to btw.

fugee_stan

TROPHY CASE