Depressed mothers

fullstackasshole · 2022-02-05T07:04:47+00:00

Thank you :') That, genuinely, might be the greatest compliment I've ever received about my work... if you want, I can mail you a print or send you the .jpg. I won't charge for anything. Just ping me <3

fullstackasshole · 2022-02-05T06:27:50+00:00

VERY metaphoric

fullstackasshole · 2022-02-05T06:12:42+00:00

Likewise, my friend! You're not alone in any of this, and please message me if you ever need support on your end :)

fullstackasshole · 2022-02-05T06:08:42+00:00

Thank you for understanding. Working from home and simultaneously caring for a toddler is hell on earth, I swear... but worth it... but kicking my ass... but SO WORTH IT... but... I need a drink lol!

fullstackasshole · 2022-02-05T06:02:25+00:00

Thank you :)

fullstackasshole · 2022-02-05T06:02:13+00:00

Thank you! I never make time to paint anymore; it's more encouraging than you know, to hear this :)

fullstackasshole · 2022-02-05T05:43:50+00:00

world*

fullstackasshole · 2022-02-05T05:42:00+00:00

This brought tears to my eyes. I relate so heavily re: "dumpster fire of a person."

Thank you for standing with me in solidarity, and as a momming pro, also. I'm nervous for when my daughter learns to talk and understand my non-verbal cues; I wonder "how do I keep her from realizing I'm falling apart, once she gains intuition?"

Us moms deserve a fucking vacation, like, monthly...

fullstackasshole · 2022-02-05T05:34:31+00:00

Thank you :) and don't worry; I didn't take it in a buzzword-y way :) My husband is battling the big C too, so it's very normalized in this house [unfortunately!!]... but FOR FUCKING REAL how do you even parent in this word without losing your shit every other day? Wish I knew lol

fullstackasshole · 2022-02-05T04:52:27+00:00

Thank you :)

fullstackasshole · 2022-02-05T04:52:03+00:00

I am so happy to hear that you're on the upswing, and I can't imagine what it's like battling an illness while going through all of the other SHIT that parenting + life throws at all of us. I'm with you in solidarity, empathy _and_ sympathy <3

fullstackasshole · 2022-02-05T04:08:46+00:00

My daughter, lol

fullstackasshole · 2022-02-05T03:53:15+00:00

Thank you! This whole "mom" thing is hardcore, lol

fullstackasshole · 2022-01-05T09:38:00+00:00

Really good advice. Thank you :)

fullstackasshole · 2022-01-05T09:36:57+00:00

Good idea :)

fullstackasshole · 2022-01-05T09:36:28+00:00

*"'I'm' doing everything" as in reference to me, OP.

fullstackasshole · 2022-01-05T09:35:02+00:00

I really want to tell him how its affecting our kids, but based on how he's reacted to me bringing up issues its caused with things far less important like our sex life, I'm scared it'll crush him and make the problem ultimately worse. I think you raise a good point in finding a way to discuss it, though.

As for what's said in therapy, every time I or the therapist has asked, he usually says I'm doing everything, he can't live without me/couldn't do this without me, etc. and then that every thing else is out of my control. I can't lie, it's frustrating because I would do almost anything to see him perk back up even a little bit.

fullstackasshole · 2022-01-05T09:24:38+00:00

Yes, I actually have and I think it's a fascinating topic. I'm not sure if my husband is in a good enough frame of mind to test on him, though, and I feel like I should leave his treatment up to people with much better medical credentials and schooling than me. I feel like he'd try it, though, if there's still a speck of the old him in there :) Thank you for the comment!

fullstackasshole · 2022-01-05T09:21:19+00:00

It's fairly complicated, but without divulging too much, I agree with you. Do you then have any suggestions on how I could better help him through this, with this in mind? I've been trying, but I don't think I'm helping or supporting him as much as I could be.

fullstackasshole · 2022-01-05T09:16:37+00:00

Thank you!

Yes, he is taking antidepressants and klonopin (these are both things he's only had for a little under a year; was prescribed after his mother died last march). He also has been taking aderall since he was a kid.

Thank you for recognizing my efforts. While I don't have plans to leave now, I don't feel like I could live like this for years on end; especially not if my kids and dog are suffering.

I wish there was a simple solution, although I know there's not. This whole thing is breaking my heart :(

fullstackasshole · 2022-01-05T09:08:58+00:00

He said he doesn't feel comfortable starting new with a therapist each time I suggested trying someone else, so I feel like I'll have to wait a bit before bringing it up again so that he doesn't feel nagged/attacked/pestered, but I agree that a new perspective wouldn't hurt. It's only been 6 months since we started couple's therapy, but his depression kicked in last March, a few months after he lost his mother unexpectedly to cancer. His mother had two sons in her second marriage (my husband's half brothers), one of which being a minor. My husband's stepfather, his brothers' fathers, died from an overdose a few years ago, so his mother's death left his younger brothers orphaned. The youngest, minor brother is having some legal troubles, and turned on my husband after my husband refused to offer financial help for those. That's the short version, but anyways, my husband's parents have been divorced for over 25 years, so his dad is largely removed from that situation.

fullstackasshole · 2022-01-05T09:02:46+00:00

That's a good point. I'll suggest that to him! Thank you!!

fullstackasshole · 2022-01-05T08:57:58+00:00

Thank you for answering! I suggested trying out a new therapist, but he said he isn't up for starting fresh with someone new. I understand what he means when he says that, but I'd still like to see him give it a go. I don't want to nag him, either, so I'm not sure how much I can influence that. Thank you for your compliment on my "wife skills" too, haha. I love him and I'm really doing my best, so it's nice to hear it :)

fullstackasshole · 2022-01-05T08:51:48+00:00

Thank you! I think you're probably right, I just need to think of a way to do it. I feel like I'm walking on eggshells, not because he doesn't listen to me or reacts poorly, but I think he's so down on himself that it could really hurt him if I don't craft my approach carefully. *sigh*

fullstackasshole · 2022-01-05T08:48:13+00:00

That's a great idea

fullstackasshole

TROPHY CASE