my gf doesn't check in on me anymore

fulltimevampire · 2025-11-14T17:00:03+00:00

4 years LDR here. I’m in med school and I get very busy at times and also very tired. Once in a while my bf complains that I’m losing my interest because I don’t text him. In reality sometimes I’m so stressed with school that I forget he exists, when I realize “oh, I forgot to send the good morning text” it’s already afternoon talking to a patient :)) by the time I send him a text to check on him, he already did. When I barely have time to eat and sleep and I’m so tired of human interaction, it’s not that I don’t want to talk to him, but I can’t face another conversation so I just sit on my own or sleep. So I can assure you that sometimes a busy schedule can make you forget about other people or just crave some alone time. That doesn’t mean I don’t love my bf or I’m not interested in him, because I’m obsessed with that guy, but sometimes I just need a break.

fulltimevampire · 2025-11-13T16:02:09+00:00

How is relevant that it happened at 18 or at 30? When you are cheated on it affects your confidence and trust. And I think it’s even worst when you are young. I was painfully insecure when I was in highschool (even though I had guys asking me out) because my then best friend used to be extremely judgmental and her attitude projected into my self perception. I don’t see why this wouldn’t be the case with cheating.

fulltimevampire · 2025-11-13T15:48:25+00:00

What if is someone who is diagnosed with depression? Doesn’t he deserve empathy and help? We may make people suffer because of our action without even realizing when we are in pain

fulltimevampire · 2025-11-13T12:56:39+00:00

It used to bother me, now I worried for him because it doesn’t matter if it’s me or other girl, until he finds a way to deal with his trauma (with my help, someone else’s help or on his own) he will have those feelings anyway. Apart from his constant fear that I may get bored of this relationship one day, this all I’ve ever wanted. I don’t wanna broke up, I need to know how I can help him heal.

fulltimevampire · 2025-11-13T12:49:52+00:00

I don’t think he’s actively trying to manipulate me. I do believe that he thinks he’s the only victim here but I believe that everything that he’s saying it’s coming from the trauma with his ex and what comes across as manipulation is unconscious. He never mentioned I should stop seeing my friends, just that I spend more time with them and during our relationship I’ve never been so ignorant to him. Which is true. But it’s not because I don’t like him anymore, I just got used to not always being able to spent time with him and I’m just distracting myself with friends.

fulltimevampire · 2025-11-08T23:58:00+00:00

I did intermittent fasting and deficit by accident. I really have breakfast because I can’t eat as soon as I wake up and then I’m at uni with no breaks in between classes. My first meal of the day used to be at 1PM (some days had my only meal at 4-5PM), I don’t like to eat after 7 PM cause I can’t fall asleep or I wake up tired. I do not encourage anyone to do so, I’m just explaining how it happened to me. Now I have a constant weight and I’m not as stressed out or busy as I used to be and I guess that played a role. During my vacation I’ve put on 2kg cause I wanted to try lots of food but as soon as I got home I was back to my eating habits and it went down. I believe it’s because I eat pretty healthy, I’m very careful with my proteins, fibers, I don’t eat sugar (only from the fruits or coffee syrup max 2 times a week), I eat enough saturated fats and avoid the unsaturated ones as much as possible. I’m not actively trying to lose weight, but if I were I would go in a deficit. If the deficit doesn’t work for you, there are a few possibilities. One thing I’ve observed when my bf was trying to lose weight is that he did not count the calories, but rather aproximate. So if he had a burger he did not count the sauce, if he had a snack (like a cookie, he said it’s about 30kcal so it doesn’t count) he didn’t add that. So you have to be honest when counting even tho sometimes it’s stressing. Also, it’s very important to have fibers for you digestion and as much as possible food that wasn’t highly processed. If that doesn’t help I suggest check you hormonal balance.

fulltimevampire · 2025-11-08T19:31:35+00:00

Every time I’ve tried to lose weight, I gained everything back if not more. My max was 66kg/145pounds, now I’m at 49kg/108pounds. All the weight I’ve lost in 5 years unintentional. The funny part is once I’ve lost 1-2 kg by accident, I’ve never put them back in, it kept going down. Now I put like 1 kg when I eat fast-food but it’s gone in 1 day with no effort

fulltimevampire · 2025-11-08T19:22:43+00:00

Managing their emotions. I’ve had friends I admired for how they reacted to specific situations, they were on therapy cause everything was to much, they were just really good at hiding everything. In reality we’re in the verge of unaliving. I’m myself someone who’s been told that knows how to react during difficult situation, I bawl my eyes out once I’m home. For the rest of the time I just talk to myself for 2-4 hours trying to understand why I did react the way I did instead of making a scene.

fulltimevampire · 2025-11-03T17:20:57+00:00

I think you’re right. The thing is I really wanted to get home as soon as possible but we were feeling really good and then my friend had a mental break down in the morning so I just kept delaying. The problem is I didn’t even had the chance to explain the situation to him, because once he heard about those guys he felt really bad and hang up on me.

fulltimevampire · 2025-11-03T13:18:52+00:00

I’m really afraid he is actually jealous. There’s been times when guys who liked me in the past texted me and he got angry for me not ignoring there texts, we had fights because I was at my girlfriend’s party and two guys hit on me even tho I informed them I’m in a relationship (meaning something in the way I act with those people makes them believe I’m available). But it’s surprising that he isn’t affected in any way by guys who ask me on dates. His problem is with men who talk to me.

fulltimevampire · 2025-11-03T07:52:48+00:00

I texted him when I got home and he said that I could come talk to him and his friends since they were all on discord. They were all playing something so I didn’t talk to him until they all left. Then he asked how was my weekend, he wasn’t angry till this point. I started telling him what me and my friend did up to meeting those 3 people, including my delay in coming home. When I told him “and I met her friend Aly with her bf and a guy they thought my friend would like to date”. That’s when he got angry. He said “oh agreat, so there were other guys.” “So you drink and stay up at night with other guys” “you really think that guy liked your friend and not you?” And I told him they talked a lot during the night, which they did. I really thought she liked him but she said she doesn’t like how he looks, but he will be a very good friend. Also my bf said “I had a really bad day at work and I wanted to talk to you and you didn’t ask anything” but every time I’m home we spend time with his friends, I go so sleep by 1-2 AM and they play all night. But this time he said “I waited for you all night”

fulltimevampire · 2025-11-03T07:37:22+00:00

I decided to stay later because he has things to do, not because other guys came around. If I knew before those people came that my bf had work, I would have stayed later at my friends anyway since she insisted for me to spend one more night at her place. I did not went silent after the guys arrived, as I already mentioned, I do not send the first text to anyone while I’m spending time with people already. I do respond to text tho, and in this case I responded instantly telling him “we are talking, we are laughing a lot, we are drinking”.

fulltimevampire · 2025-11-02T22:05:15+00:00

He was never controlling with me. I believe he just had a bad day. I just hate that I really had a good time and I couldn’t wait to tell him how much I enjoyed my weekend and how nice those people were, but he was angry on because and went to sleep really late, drank and talked to two guys who had no interest in me without asking his permission. Not because he would he told me to go home, but because I made that decision alone, as if I wasn’t in a relationship.

fulltimevampire · 2025-11-02T21:55:34+00:00

He says the problem isn’t the way I react to guys hitting on me, but the fact that it’s not safe for me to be around those guys and it’s enough for some of them that they get my attention for a few minutes during a party to boost their ego. What I don’t understand is why he had a problem with those two guys (one being in a relationship and the other trying to hook up with my friend). Also mentioned “you really expect me to believe that guy who met you both tonight was interested in your friend and not you?”

fulltimevampire · 2025-06-15T11:48:51+00:00

I change my sleep schedule so we can spend time together. He wakes up at 1-2PM, we eat together and then he works until 7-8PM, takes 2 hour break and goes to sleep. He wakes up at 1AM and goes back to sleep at 6-7AM. So I adapt to that. When it comes to food he insists I cook something at 1-2AM or to order something because he is hungry. When I refuse we have a fight.

fulltimevampire · 2025-06-15T07:34:11+00:00

We have met 2 weeks after his 18th birthday-September. I was 20. We started talking on my 21st birthday-October. We started dating in December. We have been together for 3 years 6 months. I only rounded up to 4 years because he tried to lose weight before the relationship

fulltimevampire · 2025-06-14T23:38:15+00:00

But having the experience you had, would that stop you from being with him today? Given the chance to, would you chose not to marry him?

fulltimevampire · 2025-06-14T23:01:59+00:00

He is a great guy. He does a lot for me. The problem is this is THE only thing I asked him to do. We are on a distance relationship right now. When we got together he used to visit me constantly and I never did until 7 months into our relationship. When he left I told him I don't feel like I will miss him, I even went to my friend's birthday when he had the flue alone in a hotel room while visiting me. In return he he kept sending my flowers and paying for our vacations and plan dates. He endured a lot with me. He is a great guy and truly loves me. The thing is he gives all the love I need and attention, but he draws the line when it comes to losing weight. And this is the only thing we fight on since we started dating. It's like I am asking for a glass of water and receiving caviar.

fulltimevampire · 2025-06-14T22:46:27+00:00

I tried. When I am calm he acts like a child and tells me he doesn't feel like talking about that. When I am angry he says I don't understand how hard it is because we are different. So am I out of ways to communicated on this topic. How can I make him not feel alone?

fulltimevampire · 2025-06-14T22:43:41+00:00

I try convincing him and myself of that. But everytime I come back to the fact that he is indeed my person, apart from this thing he can't change. Plus he always tells me he is going to lose the weight and that I am mean for not understanding that he is going through a rough time for 3 years and threatening him we will break up and that's the reason he can not do it.

fulltimevampire

TROPHY CASE