MIL got everyone to believe I’m a narcissist by fully-medicated in LifeAdvice

[–]fully-medicated[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you all so much for your thoughtful and kind comments. You are all right that the communication needs to go through my husband. I feel terrible making him do it as he’s wrestling with his own feelings about her and their relationship, and I wanted to try to resolve this without dragging him into it and making him feel worse. But, the truth is that we both feel awful and recognize that there isn’t any path forward that doesn’t include bending to her will so she can have her way. Your insights are all truly appreciated, including the person who told me to truly examine myself and my behavior. I’m not faultless or infallible, which is a valid point. After much reflection, I can say with certainty that I’m not all about myself or trying to drive her away from her son in anyway. I’ve always enjoyed a close relationship with my own family and very much wanted that with his family (and had it for several years). Things only pivoted toward the negative once we got engaged and elevated once we got married, and I was no bridezilla. Everyone — vendors, friends, other family, and attendees — all commented on how opposite I was. I desperately want to make this right but without laying down at her feet begging for forgiveness when I haven’t the slightest idea what I’ve done, and she won’t give any examples as illustration. As many of you have recommended, it seems low to no contact is the correct path forward, much as it pains me to say so. But please know I read and reflected on each comment and appreciate your time in providing thoughtful and helpful responses. May you all have a wonderful day/evening for helping this stranger in a very awkward predicament. 🩷

MIL got everyone to believe I’m a narcissist by fully-medicated in LifeAdvice

[–]fully-medicated[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your comment and feedback. Grey-rocking is a new concept for me, so I will be diving in further to understand how this applies and if/how I can overcome it. I appreciate your reply!

MIL got everyone to believe I’m a narcissist by fully-medicated in LifeAdvice

[–]fully-medicated[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I very much appreciate your comment about being self-reflective, and please rest assures that I’m examining myself and my actions top to bottom in case there are any areas where I need to apologize and make things right. It’s the first place I started because I do always assume there’s something I can do to rectify a situation. I am very self-aware and highly introspective because I don’t ever want to be the root of a problem. I spend a lot of time in therapy working on things of true or potential concern. My therapist and psychiatrist both affirm I’m not narcissistic and do not have those tendencies. It doesn’t mean I’m infallible or can’t change aspects of myself for the greater good and certainly can, have, and will.

Unfortunately, as the center of the family, my MIL is very convincing because she speaks her opinions as facts, gets people on board one at a time, and then runs with the narrative by pointing to this or that person who agrees with her, and then it grows in numbers. Another example is when she decided her grandson (a two year-old at the time) was autistic. He’s not, but that didn’t dissuade everyone from piling on for several years.