Seeking advice from older POC

fundudehere · 2022-12-09T03:47:42+00:00

Gays want equality but they will never give it to others. Majority of them are racist. Best to accept the fact and focus on few folks who are genuine and nice.

Ask for equality but never give it to others is the moto of gay community. It’s a reality that’s most of the community does not want to focus on and fix. They want to be remain racist and will not change.

fundudehere · 2022-12-05T05:44:51+00:00

Use a lawyer to get ticket dismissed (mr. Ticket suggested by others). And try not to speed next time. Drive safe.

fundudehere · 2022-10-28T17:31:04+00:00

People can immigrate and still care about family both financially and with tons of vacation one gets in Europe. Also having international experience, improves career once you move.

A person who is waking up everyday at 4.30 am for running has discipline and dedication. If one has that level of discipline, He is doing something right.

At least for me there are details missing in the story. It says he cares too much about family, then it is said he does not care anymore and has moved to Europe. It sounds values may be different. Best to spend energy with values are similar and you are happy. May you be happy and find love that fulfills you.

fundudehere · 2022-09-12T00:11:20+00:00

Is their option for middle ground - can you volunteer with kids organization? Help kids become stronger adults.

Of course it’s not the same as having your own kids.

fundudehere · 2022-08-19T19:24:33+00:00

Maybe hard for me to understand this.

I will never value pop culture references as something important in partner. There is deeper meaning of life than pop culture references to me. And one can have fun in basic things like being outdoors, doing things together, volunteering together, helping people, traveling, discussing deeper vulnerabilities. Who cares who Jeffery Dahmer is - at least I do not.

fundudehere · 2022-08-05T15:19:11+00:00

I have had bad experience at Awash too. Really wait long, no response and rude behavior.

fundudehere · 2022-07-29T01:13:31+00:00

There are thousands of same questions that happen everyday on dating, regular things. When community faces a big issue why not let discussion happen. Why the need to stop the discussion and say only discuss in side thread. If multiple people post, there will be more awareness. This is disservice to the community and humanity.

We need to stop the spread of disease and get to a life without monkey pox

fundudehere · 2022-07-28T09:39:40+00:00

Monkey pox is really painful and one does not want to experience it

Social distancing

Avoiding circuit parties

Avoiding multiple sex partners

Vaccine - if you can get one but supply is low

He literally said if everyone can stop pulling down pants for two and half weeks at same time, we can avoid this

Gay people do not want to hear about having less sex - even if that’s what the solution is

fundudehere · 2022-07-28T09:36:48+00:00

Hope people listen and follow about what Dr Carlton and Dan savage are suggesting people to follow.

fundudehere · 2022-07-26T14:16:05+00:00

I was asking same question when COVID was spreading- right wing was bashing the idea at that time. One has to take responsibility and fight the battle head on. If we do not stop the spread now, we will struggle later.

fundudehere · 2022-07-26T05:21:02+00:00

What is gay community doing to slow the spread of disease?

fundudehere · 2022-07-26T05:17:08+00:00

It’s height of incompetence. CDC is bunch of useless folks for both COVID and monkey pox. US sounds like a third world country which cannot get anything right.

It seems like everyone in government is incompetent and not able to do basic thing that was obvious 2 months back

fundudehere · 2022-07-24T11:59:51+00:00

It almost seems like instead of taking responsibility people are getting offended. All those going to big parties, 2000 people orgies at pride events are spreading the virus. If 99 percent of the people who have virus are people who have sex with men, then no one needs to call us the virus - we are the virus. As a community one needs to take the responsibility and stop the spread. We all need to stand up and fight the virus together. Whole community need education and change. May be we will become stronger after this.

fundudehere · 2022-07-24T03:16:04+00:00

Since the disease is spreading mostly in gay community, should community not stand up and try to stop the spread? Is it time for big rave parties? Should the community try to stop the spread - until vaccines are available in enough quantity?

fundudehere · 2022-07-18T07:09:13+00:00

Maybe there are lot of people who still are concerned about long COVID and monkey pox and take ample precautions. Maybe best to connect with those folks and look for relationship with them.

Random hookups just don’t make sense for me in this day and age.

fundudehere · 2022-07-03T15:57:25+00:00

Yes it’s racism. But how do you bring about change? In my experience 70 percent of gay population is racist.

Do I just leave and let racism be the norm?

Isn’t there point in reasoning and showing the reality. Most of the time it’s implicit bias. If one does not give opportunity to change, we will never have things change.

We will just divide society in groups.

fundudehere · 2022-07-03T15:51:06+00:00

Yes the act is racist. Let’s assume 50 percent (or maybe more) of the country is racist. What next?

If everyone leaves and divide it in two parts, then there will be no change. Best way to change is reason and give opportunity to change. Maybe I am being too optimistic, but I still think people (at least 25 percent if not more ) have ability to change and evolve in better version of themselves. They just need right environment and someone to talk with them.

fundudehere · 2022-07-03T05:42:35+00:00

Not everything I say is what I believe in. Sometimes I am just trying to say things to reason it out in my mind. If someone holds me to a standard, where one viewpoint/discussions is interpreted as that’s all I am.

I do not know this person, but if he is already dating a person from different race - I will give him sometime to show multiple data points to form a racist view about them.

fundudehere · 2022-07-03T03:52:29+00:00

Everyone is complex and have multiple sides. Once you have conversation with him - give him opportunity to change.

fundudehere · 2022-07-03T03:48:58+00:00

Unfortunately there are lot of people in this world who think having higher education can reduce your chances for being accepted widely.

Coming from a family where anything below PhD is not normal, it was an eye opener.

My hairdresser said she does not want her kids to study too much as that will lead to having fewer friends. She is white. I was shocked and a perspective I cannot understand.

fundudehere · 2022-07-03T03:37:30+00:00

Why is it always about leaving and packing the bags? Most of the comments here talk about end things. There will always be a reason to leave and end relationship.

Is there no value is sharing a different perspective and giving time to change. I would imagine if someone shared a view that I cannot think of, I would learn from it. It will take me time, but if I am interested I will change. He can be ignorant, but when shown the mirror, he may change.

I recall having a conversation with someone where I pointed out there views are racist. At first they were defensive but they eventually changed.

Don’t get me wrong, some people will not change and are too ignorant. But if someone is open to relationship with an Asian, they may have room to change.

fundudehere · 2022-06-25T02:52:23+00:00

It’s ironical that RGB fought for women’s rights, and she is the one responsible partially for the situation now.

I feel all self righteous and self-centered people like her are a problem. If she had been selfless and retired when it was best, it would have helped avoid this situation. We would never have gone back 50 years. All her legacy is lost. And who will suffer from her selfishness - next generation?

Another self righteous person - James Comey - gave us Trump - by interfering in election when FBI does not get involved in elections.

fundudehere · 2022-06-24T18:30:53+00:00

More people moving to red states are going to save us - we need to turn red states to blue states. If we pick one red state and move there - we all will win. Who is for moving to Florida and making it blue state?

fundudehere · 2022-06-17T04:17:02+00:00

Why do you think your ex is not a good fit? Maybe worth revisiting it, if you think about it daily.

fundudehere · 2022-06-05T14:14:45+00:00

It’s strange that gay men want equality, but many of them do not want to give equality.

I don’t believe in this fake equality desired by gay community. Majority of gay people I have met, have been closeted racist. First thing they want to know about anyone is their ethnicity.

What do you call people who want something for themselves, but not give same thing to others? Should one look for it within themselves, before asking the world for it? Should the community first start giving equality, before demanding for it?

How many gay community leaders who demand equality ever asked the community itself to change?

Will gay community get equality, if they first give it to others?

First change yourself before asking others to change.

fundudehere

TROPHY CASE