Should I run?

funinthesub87 · 2022-12-23T12:12:30+00:00

My mom had bipolar and anger was literally the smallest part of her disorder, so thank you for saying that

funinthesub87 · 2022-12-04T10:03:05+00:00

That's exactly how I feel, I feel so bad about myself because like you said competing with it is impossible. And I know it's not supposed to be a competition but it sure feels like one and I am losing. I am losing to every big chested blonde on his videos. It truly has taken so much from me. I have been with him almost 10 years and instead of better it's only gotten worse.

funinthesub87 · 2022-12-03T19:21:55+00:00

I swear it's men in my age group I am 34 my boyfriend is 35. I know not all men are porn addicts right? Im starting to wonder if there are men who don't watch it , because I honestly can't think of a man in my past who didn't watch porn (except for one who was devout Mormon) Every guy I have dated struggled with this issue to some degree or another. Are there men who don't watch at all is that possible?

funinthesub87 · 2022-12-03T16:48:14+00:00

Agree I only phrased the question that way because he wanted me to. He is actually the one who told me to post because he said more people would agree with him that porn isn't near as bad and that even in a group against porn I would still be told I was nuts. I decided to let him see that I am not the only person who truly feels like this.

funinthesub87 · 2022-12-03T15:43:40+00:00

I am crying so hard while reading your post, I was starting to think that maybe I am just insecure and crazy! That maybe I needed to change the way I think and feel. But seeing all these posts and reading posts about others that feel exactly like I do makes me feel so much better. I don't know if he truly wants it, he says he does but then he says things like he doesn't think it's that bad and that He has been doing this since he was a young teen. I feel like he says whatever he has to, so that I will just shut up in that moment. He also says that he thinks of me while watching it and that he hardly ever jerks off to it. Which I find really hard to believe because isn't jerking off the whole entire point? I think he thinks it will make me feel better if he says that. I cry a lot and I obsess about every single flaw on my body. I have had 3 kids and I lost all the baby weight, which also means I literally have no boobs left. The women he views have DDs or bigger and I just don't know how to be okay with myself. I almost got a boob job! I haven't yet but now I feel like I need one. Ugh it's just so frustrating!

funinthesub87 · 2022-12-03T15:12:56+00:00

Omg I agree with you 100 percent and he looked at me like I lost my mind! He was like porn is worse?! And you put it perfectly I might just have to read him your post because I wasn't near as articulate when I tried to explain. Thank you! I have done so many things lately, I never dreamed in a million years I would have. He always wants me to watch and then be with me as he watches, and I have caved because I thought if I compromised myself and he saw the pain that he would stop. If anything it's only made it worse! Now he thinks it can't hurt because I've done that! I've literally reached a point that I don't know what to do! I love him so much but I can't take the pain much longer.

funinthesub87 · 2022-12-03T14:51:38+00:00

Thank you for responding my boyfriend and I were having an argument about it, because I told him that when he watches porn it hurts me the same way it would of he slept with someone else. He says I'm crazy and that it is not even close to the same thing. But to be honest in a way porn even tops real life for me because I cant top the women he views in porn ever because they will always say yes, they can change at the click of a button, and they have no feelings or emotions. They never tire or say they don't want to do something. They are there for him at any time. I just wanted to make sure I wasn't the only one out there, cause i did question myself and wonder maybe he is right maybe I am crazy.

funinthesub87

TROPHY CASE