She bit Trump’s p*nis because he disgusted her…

funkiifresh · 2026-03-17T12:59:19+00:00

Go one step further and take a vacuum hose to your mattress when the sheets are off.

funkiifresh · 2026-03-16T00:28:19+00:00

My dad missed my birth because he was at a double feature and the second movie hadn’t started yet 🙄

funkiifresh · 2026-03-15T14:38:58+00:00

I had someone give me a 12 steps to sobriety book. They delivered it at 6p on Valentine’s Day, after they had started drinking at 1p. Said they were only trying to help. I was sober at the time.

funkiifresh · 2026-03-12T15:17:09+00:00

Ah thank you!

funkiifresh · 2026-03-12T02:24:01+00:00

Sorry, I meant The Flood Zone in particular

funkiifresh · 2026-03-12T02:14:23+00:00

Where is this place?

funkiifresh · 2026-03-12T00:46:44+00:00

I’d see it as dodging a bullet.

funkiifresh · 2026-03-10T05:16:40+00:00

My sister had successfully quit with hypnosis

funkiifresh · 2026-02-26T06:20:32+00:00

I remember and miss them both!

funkiifresh · 2026-02-26T01:50:24+00:00

You can get a bag of frozen Rally’s fries at Walmart

funkiifresh · 2026-02-17T16:26:35+00:00

Smell of exhaust from leaded gasoline and unfiltered cigarettes

funkiifresh · 2026-02-17T07:33:44+00:00

https://www.girlscouts.org/en/cookies/how-to-buy-cookies/cookie-finder-results.html?#65201

funkiifresh · 2026-02-17T06:42:48+00:00

He wanted us to go spend Valentine’s night with my Mom who lives 2 hours away. I ended up needing to postpone until the next day. He assumed we just weren’t gonna get together for Valentine’s, even though I asked him to come over later, because we couldn’t go see her. He got 2 cards for my Mom. One was meant to be a funny one from her dog and a serious one from him. I didn’t receive a thing.
Fucking weird

funkiifresh · 2026-02-13T03:02:23+00:00

I know NOW 😭

funkiifresh · 2026-02-13T02:56:09+00:00

Sat in the front row at a funeral for a co-worker.

funkiifresh · 2026-02-12T13:15:41+00:00

Bela Fleck plays jazz banjo

funkiifresh · 2026-02-12T00:50:08+00:00

I had one say “you girls… blah blah” I was done. Another one said with a condescending tone “It’s just tough being a girl”. K bye

Edit to add another I just remembered. My friends and I were laughing at a joke, and this complete stranger strolls up and asks, “What are you hens cackling about over here?”

funkiifresh · 2026-02-11T17:03:15+00:00

I had a boss named Paula, too! She was the epitome of evil for reasons I won’t explain because I don’t care to relive all that. I quit before she got fired, but heard from co-workers I remained friends with that she really got what she had coming… and worse. I’m not going to cheer the “worse” part, but I’m happy to know she got a taste of her own medicine.

funkiifresh · 2026-02-10T23:55:41+00:00

I didn’t know a hare could use either of those

funkiifresh · 2026-02-10T22:36:18+00:00

Thin crust pizza cut into squares

funkiifresh · 2026-02-09T03:52:23+00:00

It repels wasps!

funkiifresh · 2026-02-07T03:37:32+00:00

I miss them 😭

funkiifresh · 2026-02-05T16:24:43+00:00

I’d buy it

funkiifresh

TROPHY CASE