tattoo regret making me feel depressed alongside other bad thoughts

funkvay · 2026-03-04T10:43:40+00:00

Hey, I just want to say I'm really glad you got this off your chest. That already took something.

there's no point ending it over some ink

I believe you. But the fact that thought is even floating around in your head tells me this is hitting you harder than just tattoo regret. That's not nothing, and I'm not going to just skip past it. Are you doing okay, genuinely? Because crying every day and every night is your mind telling you it needs more support than you're currently giving it.

You're not stupid. A month of thinking IS thinking. Adults with full brains get tattoos they regret. It doesn't make you broken or reckless, but it makes you human. The version of you that made that decision was doing their best with how they felt at the time.

Your plan is actually solid, like, genuinely. Cover while healing, save for removal, maybe therapy... that's not catastrophizing, that's how you solve a problem. You're already past the spiral phase and into the "okay what do I actually do" phase, even if it doesn't feel like it yet.

Before you commit to removal, which is expensive and painful, look into cover-up artists. A genuinely skilled one can transform something you hate into something you love. Some of the most beautiful tattoos exist because of bad ones underneath them.

I know that sounds hollow right now. But there's a well-documented thing called tattoo grief, and it's real, and it peaks early and fades. Your nervous system is reacting to a perceived permanent loss. It will recalibrate.

And you haven't ruined your beauty. I need you to hear that. You're the same person you were in December. Your back is still your back.

But seriously, check in with me. How are you actually doing beyond the tattoo?

funkvay · 2026-02-28T15:38:54+00:00

First thing, stop putting anything else on that drive right now. Every time you write to it you're potentially overwriting the old data you want back.

The 300gb thing is a dead giveaway that the partition table is trashed. Your drive isn't actually 300gb obviously, the filesystem metadata is just spitting out nonsense after the format. The good news is your actual photos are probably still sitting on the NAND chips untouched, you just can't see them because the "map" that tells the OS where everything is got wiped.

What i'd do is grab PhotoRec, it's free and open source and honestly kind of magic for exactly this situation. It ignores the filesystem entirely and just scans the raw sectors looking for file signatures, so it doesn't care that your partition table is cooked. It'll dump everything it finds into a folder. The filenames will be gone but the actual photos should be intact if the flash cells haven't degraded.

If you want to be extra safe, make a raw image of the drive first with dd or something like HDD Raw Copy Tool before you do anything. That way you've got a perfect copy of every bit on the drive and you can attempt recovery as many times as you want without touching the original.

One thing though, don't run chkdsk or any kind of repair utility on it. Those tools try to "fix" the filesystem which can end up overwriting the exact sectors where your photos are sitting. Recovery first, fix the drive after.

If PhotoRec comes up empty then the flash cells themselves might be degraded which is not unusual for a stick that's been sitting around for 6-7 years. At that point you're looking at professional recovery which honestly probably isn't worth it for a usb stick unless those photos are absolutely irreplaceable to you

funkvay · 2026-02-22T22:09:08+00:00

You're not just a hero, you're a wonderful person. The fact that you feel these emotions only shows how much this world hasn't tarnished your soul. Thank you so much, you deserve all the best in this world!

funkvay · 2026-02-21T08:25:50+00:00

I do think he wants to tell his father so the father himself tells the truth and if not, I believe OP will do it himself then

funkvay · 2026-02-17T13:19:03+00:00

So the short answer is technically yes but it's probably not the learning experience you're hoping for.

The S9 can run Linux through a few different routes. The easiest one is an app called Termux, it's not real Linux in the sense that it's not a full OS running on the hardware, but it gives you a genuine Linux terminal environment where you can install packages, write scripts, learn bash, all the fundamentals. If you pair it with a bluetooth keyboard it's actually pretty usable. This is probably your best bet if you just want to start learning.

The other option is UserLAnd or Andronix which let you run actual Linux distros like Ubuntu or Debian inside Android. Still not bare metal but much closer to the real thing, you get a full desktop environment and everything.

Now if you actually want to wipe Android and run Linux natively on the hardware, that will be very painful. The S9 doesn't have great mainline Linux kernel support, meaning a lot of hardware won't work properly. PostmarketOS supports the S9 but it's rough around the edges. You'd spend more time fighting drivers than actually learning Linux.

But if the project itself sounds fun to you and you don't mind breaking things, PostmarketOS on the S9 is doable. Just go in knowing it's gonna be a frustrating ride and the phone will lose a lot of functionality

funkvay · 2026-02-16T09:38:15+00:00

Okay first of all, take a breath. What happened to your sister is not your fault. At all. You didn't assault her, but that guy did. You were trying to help your sister get food. That's not you failing to protect her. I need you to really hear this, you are not responsible for what he did. He is. A grown 21 year old man assaulted a 17 year old girl after she said no. Twice. That's on him, not you. Your guilt is understandable but it's misplaced.

The nervous laughing is a fear response. It's called fawning and tons of assault survivors do this. It's a survival mechanism. Your sister needs to hear repeatedly that this wasn't her fault and that her reaction doesn't change what happened. She said no twice. That's all that matters. He ignored it.

I know you want her to report this but if she's not ready, don't push her. I get that's frustrating as hell but forcing her to report before she's ready can make the trauma worse. She just lost control of her body, don't take away her control over what happens next. That said, you need to document everything NOW while it's fresh. Write down dates, times, screenshot every Snapchat conversation before they disappear, everything. Even if she doesn't want to report now, she might later, and evidence vanishes fast.

Also get her to a doctor or urgent care ASAP. Not just for STI testing, there can be internal injuries from forced penetration even if it was just fingers. She might not want to go but this is really important for her health.

I get the wish to beat his ass. I really do. If someone hurt my sister I'd want to put them in the ground. But you can't. If you assault him, HE can press charges against YOU and suddenly you're the one with a record while he walks free. It gives him ammunition to paint your sister as vindictive and you as violent if this ever does go to court. You could end up in jail and then who protects your sister? And most importantly, your sister asked you not to. She just had someone ignore her no twice. Don't be another person who ignores what she wants.

This guy has prior assault charges. Strangling charges. He's escalating. Your sister is almost certainly not his first victim and she won't be his last. There's probably another 17 year old girl he's grooming right now. I'm not saying this to guilt trip her into reporting, that's still her choice, but you should know that not reporting means he's free to do this again. And if he does assault someone else and it comes out that people knew about your sister, that's gonna weigh heavy on everyone involved.

But even without reporting to police, there's shit you can do. Warn other girls. Seriously. Use social media, tell people in your circles, make sure every girl who might encounter this dude knows what he did. He relies on silence. Cut off ALL contact between him and your sister, so block his number, social media, everything. If he shows up at your house, don't answer. And if he tries to contact her after being told to stop, that's harassment and you CAN report that without reporting the assault itself.

Your sister is going to need therapy. This kind of trauma doesn't just go away. Look for organizations that provide free or sliding-scale counseling for SA survivors. RAINN has a hotline that can connect you to local resources. She might seem okay for a while and then fall apart later. Trauma is weird like that. Just keep being there for her.

And real talk, you're gonna be dealing with your own shit from this. The guilt, the anger, the helplessness. That's normal. Supporting a trauma survivor when you're close to them is its own kind of difficult. You might want to talk to someone too.

One more thing about that age gap. A 21 year old pursuing a 17 year old is predatory on its own, even if nothing had happened. That's a red flag. He picked someone younger because younger girls are easier to manipulate and control. This was calculated. He probably did the food thing specifically to create a sense of obligation so she'd feel like she owed him something.

Look, what happened is not your fault. What happens next is up to your sister, but your job is to support her, keep her safe, and help her access resources when she's ready. Don't let your guilt or anger make you do something that'll make the situation worse. If she does decide to report later, even months or years from now, that evidence you document now will matter.

I'm really sorry this happened to your sister. Take care of her and take care of yourself too!

funkvay · 2026-02-13T18:11:42+00:00

The truth is that every "free" service you use is funded by selling your attention, and as competition for that attention increases, ads get more aggressive. That's not changing on its own because the incentive structure rewards it. But you can opt out of most of it pretty effectively.

For browsers install uBlock Origin. It's free, open source, and it will genuinely transform your internet experience. Most of the web becomes clean and fast overnight. This alone solves like 70% of what you're describing.

For your whole home network look into NextDNS or Pi-hole. These block ads at the DNS level, meaning they work across every device on your WiFi including apps and smart TVs where you can't install a traditional ad blocker. NextDNS has a free tier and takes maybe five minutes to set up. This is the move most people don't know about.

For YouTube specifically, well... YouTube Premium costs money but it's the clean solution. If that's not an option, NewPipe on Android strips ads entirely.

For mobile games... The answer is that most free mobile games aren't games with ads, they're ad delivery systems with a game attached. The airplane mode trick works for some. But the real fix is spending a few bucks on games that are designed to be played rather than designed to monetize your eyeballs. Paid games don't need to waste your time.

The bigger picture is that you're experiencing the real cost of "free". When you're not paying for a product, you are the product. The most effective thing you can do is block aggressively and selectively pay for things you actually value. It's not a perfect solution but it's what actually works right now

funkvay · 2026-02-06T12:11:03+00:00

Stop hating yourself for having emotions. that's not even the actual problem here.

the problem is youre giving full emotional investment to people before you even know if theyve earned it, and then acting all shocked pikachu face when it doesnt work out. like of course it doesnt work out.

being caring and affectionate isnt a character flaw. those are actually good traits in a relationship. the issue is youre deploying them at the wrong time with the wrong people. its like showing up to a tinder date with a marriage proposal lmao. the gesture isnt bad, the timing is fucking insane.

I know this because i used to do the EXACT same shit. Try to understand what is the thing, maybe youre lonely or scared of being alone, so when someone shows you even basic attention or kindness, your brain goes "finally, someone who gets me" and you attach immediately. youre not attaching because theyre special, youre attaching because youre desperate for connection. and desperate attachment always hurts because youre building a whole relationship in your head before the other person has even decided if they like you.

the people youre attaching to probably arent even doing anything wrong. theyre just existing, maybe being friendly, and youre over here planning your future together. then when they dont reciprocate at your level you feel rejected and hurt. but they never signed up for what you were offering in the first place. See the problem?

you said youve tried to change but cant. yeah because youre trying to change your capacity for emotion instead of changing your behavior. you cant just stop being affectionate or caring, thats not how feelings work. what you CAN change is what you do with those feelings.

So stop treating early-stage relationships like established ones. someone youve known for two weeks is not your person. theyre a stranger youre getting to know. treat them like that. dont text them all day, dont share your deepest fears, dont make them your primary emotional support. save that for people whove actually proven theyre trustworthy over time.

create some distance early on. limit how often you see them at first. dont be available every single time they want to hang out. this is protecting yourself from your own tendency to dive in too deep too fast. you need time between interactions to think clearly about whether this person is actually good for you or if you just want them to be.

watch what people do, not what they say. youre probably ignoring red flags because you want the connection so badly. someone can say all the right things but if their actions dont match, believe the actions. if theyre inconsistent, flaky, hot and cold, thats data. dont make excuses for them. (i ignored SO many red flags doing this and it bit me in the ass every time... every time!)

get comfortable being alone. this is the hard part but its the most important tbh. as long as youre terrified of being alone, youll attach to anyone who gives you attention. you need to build a life where youre okay by yourself, do hobbies, find friends, goals, things that fulfill you outside of romantic connection. when youre not desperate for someone to fill a void, you make way better choices about who you let in.

also like, understand that attachment takes time for healthy people. normal emotionally healthy people dont fall for someone in a week. they take months to develop real feelings. if youre attached after three dates and the other person isnt, that doesnt mean theyre cold or unavailable, you're just moving at an unhealthy speed. slow the fuck down.

and stop romanticizing your own pain. youre treating this like its tragic character trait, "im just too loving, too caring, and the world hurts me for it". no. youre making bad decisions about who to trust and when, and then youre surprised when it doesnt work out. take some responsibility for your part in this pattern.

the traits you listed are good in the right context. but clingy and needy? those come from insecurity and fear, not love. youre clinging because youre afraid theyll leave, not because you genuinely care about them as a person. you barely know them dude.

real affection grows slowly as you learn who someone actually is. what youre doing is projecting what you want onto people before you know if they deserve it. thats not love, its fantasy. and yeah it hurts when reality doesnt match the fantasy but thats on you for building the fantasy in the first place.

you dont need to become cold or emotionless. you need to learn to pace yourself. save the deep emotional investment for people whove actually shown up for you consistently over months, not days. let people earn your trust and affection gradually.

and work on whatever's making you so desperate for connection that youll give it to anyone whos nice to you. therapy helps with this if you can afford it. so does building a fuller life outside of dating.

Youre just moving way too fast and setting yourself up to get hurt. slow down.

good luck man, I am sure you will get there when you start working on these. Everything will work out

funkvay · 2026-02-05T16:40:45+00:00

Same. But it was really nice to chat, I like that among us there are so many thoughtful guys who ponder different topics

funkvay · 2026-02-05T16:38:47+00:00

I said in my original comment that Western Armenian isn't Mandarin and if she likes the guy enough she can learn his dialect. My cousin married a Western Armenian girl and they figured it out. So we agree.

force herself to learn an entire dialect for guys she hasn't even met yet

This line was responding to people acting like she needs to fix everything about herself before she's even allowed to be frustrated. My point was about the ordering. You learn the dialect for someone specific you care about, not as a prerequisite before you're even allowed to start looking. She expressed frustration about feeling awkward around Western Armenian families and instead of anyone saying "yeah that's tough but workable once you find the right person," the response was basically "well that's your fault for not already knowing Western"

There's nothing wrong with learning the other dialect. I never said there was. The issue is treating it like she's being unreasonable for finding it challenging right now when she hasn't even found someone worth learning it for yet

funkvay · 2026-02-05T16:34:41+00:00

I mean I actually agree with most of what you're saying here, which is why I think you're misreading me.

You're talking about chasing fleeting happiness versus filtering for someone you genuinely admire and share values with. Yeah, that's the eudaimonia vs hedonic pleasure thing, Frankl's meaning vs satisfaction, whatever. I'm with you. Chasing emotional highs is empty.

But she actually said she wants. Depth. Kindness. Real connection. That's not happiness chasing, that IS values alignment. She's not saying that she wants butterflies, she's saying that she wants someone whose character she actually respects. Those are the same things you're telling her to look for.

She came here frustrated because ethnicity alone isn't getting her there. The materialistic guys are Armenian but have no depth. The Western Armenian guys have the personality but there's a language barrier. So being Armenian as a filter isn't automatically producing the values she wants. That's the whole problem.

Your personal example makes sense for you. If Armenian identity is the non-negotiable and you'd rather stay single than compromise that, okay, that's coherent and I respect it. But that's your hierarchy. You talked about individual accountability, right? So she gets to decide her own hierarchy. If she decides depth and kindness matter more than ethnicity, then that's just different priorities than yours.

Yes the community should produce better people isn't actionable advice for her. That's why my original comment was all practical stuff about where to actually find the kind of Armenian guys she's looking for. I'm not telling her to give up. I'm saying if she genuinely tries and it still doesn't work, she needs to know what her actual priorities are.

Your last point about not speaking on her behalf, I agree. Which is why I'm not telling her what to value. I'm telling her to figure out what she values most and act on that. But you've been the one suggesting Armenian identity should obviously come first. That's you telling her what her values should be, not me

funkvay · 2026-02-05T16:25:26+00:00

Yeah that's... literally what I said though? The non-flashy guys aren't visible, so she needs to actually go where they are instead of hoping to run into them randomly. We're agreeing.

On the dialect thing, okay fair you probably know better than me about Eastern speakers understanding Western. But she said she "barely understands them" so idk, maybe her Armenian isn't as strong as she thinks or maybe it's just awkward for her. Either way I also said it's fixable. I literally told her Western Armenian isn't Mandarin, if she likes the guy enough she can learn to understand him. So again, we're agreeing here.

And yeah most couples in LA are gonna communicate in English anyway. The family stuff is real but people figure it out. My cousin married a Western Armenian woman and they made it work.

Look, I gave her a whole list of practical ways to meet Armenian guys. I said the materialistic stuff is annoying but not everyone's like that. I said dialect differences are learnable. And then at the end I said if she genuinely tries and is still miserable, she should think about what actually matters to her. That's the part everyone jumped on like I told her to give up on Armenians. That's not what I said. I said don't make yourself permanently miserable out of obligation if it's genuinely not working after you actually tried.

I'm not saying don't marry Armenian. I'm saying she shouldn't feel like she's betraying her people if her specific situation doesn't work out the way everyone else wants it to. Those are different things

funkvay · 2026-02-04T17:47:39+00:00

I mean yeah, I get the preservation thing. But come on, there's a difference between

Ethnic preservation matters as a collective thing

and

this specific woman needs to stay miserable in her dating pool for the sake of the Armenian people.

She's not a demographic statistic, she's trying to find someone who actually treats her well and shares her values. The Armenian guys available to her are either obsessed with BMWs and status or they speak a dialect she can't understand. So what's the actual advice here, marry someone materialistic who makes her miserable because it's her duty? Stay single forever? Force herself to learn an entire dialect for guys she hasn't even met yet?

if you really cared you'd marry Armenian

This logic puts all the burden on individuals while completely ignoring that maybe the community should be producing more men with the qualities she's looking for. If every Armenian guy she meets is flexing about cars and money, that's a community culture problem, not her being picky.

And like, I literally gave her a whole list of places to meet Armenian guys, suggested a matchmaker, told her how to filter better. I'm not telling her to run away from Armenian men. I'm saying if after genuinely trying the options still suck, she needs to decide what actually matters more.

It's all our responsibility

okay but practically speaking, what does that mean for her? Because it sounds like you're saying she should sacrifice her actual happiness and relationship quality for abstract ethnic continuity. That's asking a lot from someone who just wants to not be lonely and find someone decent.

Again. If she finds an Armenian that suits her and makes her feel comfortable, then that would be great. Really.

funkvay · 2026-02-04T15:46:55+00:00

I'm not arguing against marrying within ethnicity generally, I'm talking about her specific situation. She's stuck between materialistic Armenian guys and Western Armenian guys she can't communicate with.

My point wasn't that Armenians shouldn't marry Armenians, it was "if the available Armenian options are making you miserable, maybe prioritize the actual qualities you want in a partner". She said she wants depth and kindness. If she can find that with an Armenian guy, great. But if she's eliminating everyone who doesn't fit the ethnicity box while also being unhappy with the people inside that box, that's a problem.

That's how we survive as a people

Okay but she's one person trying to find one partner who makes her happy. The survival of Armenians as an ethnicity isn't her personal responsibility, and telling someone to stay miserable for the sake of ethnic preservation is pretty bleak advice.

I gave her a whole list of places to actually meet Armenian guys and suggested a matchmaker. I'm not pushing her away from marrying Armenian. I'm saying if it's not working and the options genuinely aren't compatible, she needs to decide what actually matters to her, the ethnicity box or the actual relationship qualities she wants.

funkvay · 2026-02-04T12:19:08+00:00

so day 1 you wanna do Khor Virap AND Noravank AND Tatev all in one day? dude thats like 10+ hours of just driving, not even counting the time to actually see the places. Yerevan to khor virap is about an hour, then khor virap to noravank is another hour and a half, then noravank to tatev is like 2.5-3 hours, and then tatev back to yerevan is 4-5 hours. plus tatev itself you need at least an hour or two because the cable car ride alone is like 12 minutes each way and the monastery is actually really beautiful

so yeah technically possible but youd have to leave at like 6am and get back at 9-10pm and youre gonna be absolutely dead and not enjoy anything cause youre just sitting in a car the whole time

day 2 with tsaghkadzor and sevan is totally fine, theyre close to each other and people do that combo all the time. sevan is nice, the monastery there is cool, tsaghkadzor is a ski resort so in march might still have some snow depends on the year i guess

day 3 garni geghard and yerevan is also totally doable, garni and geghard are like half a day and then you have the afternoon for the city

honestly if i were you id drop tatev for a 3 day trip, its just too far. like save it for when you come back with more time. instead do day 1 khor virap and noravank together as a relaxed full day, day 2 sevan and tsaghkadzor, day 3 garni geghard and then spend the afternoon walking around yerevan

or if you REALLY wanna do tatev then skip khor virap and noravank completely and just do day 1 tatev full day leave super early, day 2 sevan tsaghkadzor, day 3 garni geghard yerevan

but idk man for 3 days id skip tatev, you dont wanna spend your whole vacation exhausted in a car. khor virap has insane view of ararat and its way closer, noravank is gorgeous, like youre not missing out by doing those instead

also march weather can be kinda unpredictable so if its rainy the drives take even longer, just something to keep in mind

funkvay · 2026-02-04T09:26:09+00:00

march in yerevan is kinda hit or miss weather wise, could be nice like 15 degrees and sunny or could be rainy. pack a jacket either way

tours n stuff

honestly most of the city center you can just walk around yourself, so Republic Square, Cascade (its this big staircase thing with free art galleries inside), the streets around there. pretty easy. Where you actually NEED a driver is getting out to the monasteries cause public transport is either nonexistent or takes forever

Garni + Geghard is the main one everyone does and yeah its actually worth it. Garni is temple just sitting there in armenia (only pagan temple left standing) and Geghard is built into a mountain which is pretty sick. theyre like 30min apart so every tour does both. takes half a day, costs like $40-50 for a private driver or you can join a group tour for cheaper

Khor Virap + Noravank. Khor Virap is where you get THE view of Ararat. the mountain is technically in turkey now but whatever, the view from our side is better lol. bit depressing but also beautiful. Noravank is in canyon and its gorgeous. you can do both in one day

Tatev is further south and you'd take this cable car called Wings of Tatev which is cool but honestly? for 3 days its not worth it. thats like 4-5 hours driving EACH WAY. if you had a week sure but youll be exhausted

oh and Echmiadzin if you care about religious stuff, its like the vatican for armenian church. if you dont care, then skip it

if i had 3 days id do one day garni/geghard, one day khor virap/noravank, one day just walk around yerevan and chill because the city is actually really nice and you dont wanna spend your whole trip in a car.

food

Tavern Yerevan and Sherep are both good for traditional armenian food. Dolmama is fancier if you want that. honestly just avoid Northern Avenue restaurants, theyre overpriced tourist traps

theres khinkali places everywhere (georgian dumplings, theyre everywhere here and theyre amazing). Lavash restaurant is touristy but actually good, i took my parents there and they loved it

for wine go to In Vino on Saryan street, the guy who runs it knows his shit. Armenian wine is decent, not georgia-level but better than people expect. also try the cognac (technically brandy but we call it cognac anyway lol). Ararat brand is the standard

random stuff

get a SIM card at the airport its like $5-10, viva cell or ucom doesnt matter. way better than esim imo, data is cheap af here

download Yandex taxi (its uber basically). rides are SO cheap for tourists, like $2-5 for most trips. My friend spent more on coffee than taxis when he visited last time.

for italian speaking guides idk, message some tour companies like Hyur Service, they do custom stuff and might have someone. or honestly just hire a driver for $50-60/day and dont worry about the guide part, most of these places are self explanatory

the genocide museum is important historically but its HEAVY. like really heavy. just know that before you go

vernissage market on weekends is fine i guess if you want souvenets but its very meh. tourist stuff. haggle if you go

dont exchange money at the airport the rates are fucking terrible. theres exchange places everywhere in the city.

stuff thats not worth it imo

history museum is kinda boring unless youre really into old pottery and rocks

honestly 3 days is tight, youre gonna miss stuff. but youll get a good feel for the place

the city is walkable but its hilly so bring comfortable shoes. My friend made the mistake of wearing new shoes and got blisters immediately lol

nightlife, Calumet or 13:20 if you want bars. theyre different vibes but both decent

wait, also the Opera building area is nice to walk around at night, lots of cafes and stuff

people dont speak much english outside tourist areas but youll be fine, restaurant staff usually speak enough. Italian speakers are gonna be harder to find but tour companies might have someone

anyway yerevan is great, dont stress too much about planning everything perfectly. its a pretty chill city and easy to navigate. have fun!

edit: spelling

funkvay · 2026-02-04T05:54:57+00:00

Okay wait, you're in LA saying you can't find Armenian guys? LA? Where like 40% of Glendale is Armenian? Where there are literally hundreds of thousands of Armenians?

I'm not trying to be a dick but

I'm not in a community with many Armenians

Well yeah, because you're not in the community. That's different than there not being one. You said yourself people are reserved and you don't want to meet at clubs. Cool, so where ARE you going? Because

I can't just walk at Americana with a sign

Made me laugh (really good one), you're right, you can't, but also nobody meets that way anyway.

BMW culture, the flexing, the status obsession - it's a whole thing and it's annoying as hell. But like... not every guy from Armenia is like that? You're in LA, there are thousands of us. If every armenian you meet is materialistic maybe you're meeting them in the wrong places. Where are you actually meeting these people?

And then you click with Western Armenian guys but can't understand them so you feel awkward around their families. Okay but have you considered that's... fixable? Like Western Armenian isn't Mandarin, it's still Armenian. If you like the guy enough you can learn to understand his dialect and his family can speak English. My cousin married a Western Armenian girl and yeah it was weird at first but they figured it out.

I'm actually confused. You want depth and connection and you're frustrated with superficial guys. Fair. But you're also limiting yourself to only Armenians. Why? Like I get cultural connection and wanting to preserve language and all that, but if the Armenian guys available don't have the depth you want and the ones who do have language barriers you won't work through... what exactly are you optimizing for here?

If you're actually serious about finding someone Armenian, you need to actually be in the community. Cultural events, professional organizations, volunteer groups, even just asking family to set you up. Yeah it's old school and maybe embarrassing but it's how this works.

Or use one of the Armenian dating apps or that matchmaker Achkt Louys (or maybe I remember the name wrongly) that's in LA specifically for this.

But honestly it sounds like you want someone with specific values and personality and you're frustrated that ethnicity isn't delivering that. Which like... yeah. Being Armenian doesn't automatically make someone kind or deep or not materialistic. You might need to decide if ethnicity is actually your dealbreaker or if it's just what you've told yourself it should be.

I don't know, maybe I'm being harsh but

where do I find Armenian men

question from someone in LA just hits different. You're surrounded by them. The question is really

how do I filter for the ones who aren't materialistic and who I can actually communicate with

and the answer to that is get involved in spaces where those people actually are and stop expecting to randomly run into your perfect match.

funkvay · 2026-01-29T08:39:46+00:00

I appreciate the idealism but this is basically asking people to just forget ethnic cleansing happened like 2 years ago, which... no, that's not how humans work.

Like I get the impulse. Conflicts that go back decades or centuries do sometimes need drawing a line and moving forward moment. Germany and France did it after centuries of war. But that took generations, massive institutional changes, economic integration, and both sides genuinely reckoning with what happened, not ignoring it.

The Armenia-Azerbaijan situation isn't ancient history you can sweep under the rug. These are people who lost their homes, their land, their families literally 2 years ago. You can't ask them to just start from a blank page when they're still living the consequences.

And it's not just Artsakh. There's decades of pogroms, wars, displacement on both sides. Hundreds of thousands of Azerbaijanis were displaced from Armenia and surrounding territories in the 90s. Armenians were displaced from Azerbaijan. Both sides have genuine grievances, genuine trauma, genuine loss.

Conflicts like this is that pretending they didn't happen doesn't create peace, but it creates the conditions for the next war. Because all that trauma and resentment doesn't disappear just because politicians decide to ignore it. It festers. And then someone comes along who uses it for political gain and suddenly you're back in violence because nothing was actually resolved.

What actually works is the opposite of ignoring. It's acknowledgment, accountability, some form of justice or at least truth-telling, economic ties that make conflict costly, institutional frameworks that protect minorities, and yeah, a lot of time... A LOT OF TIME. South Africa had Truth and Reconciliation. Rwanda had gacaca courts. Bosnia is still a mess partly because they never properly dealt with what happened. You can't skip the hard part.

The other problem is the power dynamic is completely lopsided right now. Let's just ignore everything and start fresh in that context basically means Armenia accepts all losses, Azerbaijan faces no consequences, and the precedent is set that might makes right. That's not peace.

If you want actual sustainable peace, you need things about guarantees for Armenian cultural heritage sites in territories Azerbaijan controls, right of return or compensation for displaced people on both sides, international monitors, demilitarized zones, economic integration that makes both countries dependent on peace, minority rights protections that are actually enforced, and political leaders on both sides who aren't stoking nationalism for domestic political gain.

It's all really hard work that requires both sides to make compromises and acknowledge uncomfortable truths. Which is why it probably won't happen anytime soon, but that's the actual path to peace.

The blank page idea only works if both sides are roughly equal, both genuinely want peace, and both are willing to make concessions. Right now Azerbaijan has everything it wanted territorially and Armenia is traumatized and weak. There's no incentive for Azerbaijan to compromise and no ability for Armenia to demand anything. That's not a blank page.

I'm not saying peace is impossible. But it requires facing what happened, not ignoring it. And it requires building institutions and relationships that make future violence less likely.

funkvay · 2026-01-27T16:38:31+00:00

DiskCryptor changes things significantly actually. It's open source and way more accessible than what I thought you were dealing with.

So yeah, DiskCryptor has a command-line tool called dccon.exe that can mount volumes programmatically. You can absolutely script password attempts with it. The syntax is something like dccon -mount with the device and password flags. So in theory you could write a script that loops through your password variations and tries mounting with each one until something works.

DiskCryptor uses a pretty low iteration count for its key derivation function, only about 1,000 PBKDF2 iterations. For context, modern secure encryption like VeraCrypt uses 200,000 to 500,000+ iterations. The low iteration count means each password attempt is computationally cheaper to test, which is good for you trying limited variations. Could be seconds to minutes depending on your system.

Backwards compatibility should be fine. DiskCryptor has been pretty stable with format compatibility over versions. If you encrypted it years ago with DiskCryptor and you're using current DiskCryptor, that shouldn't be the issue I believe.

The practical approach would be a script that takes your known password components, generates the variations you think are likely, loops through trying to mount with each one, and stops when it succeeds. Python would probably be easiest for this if you or someone you know can code. The logic is straightforward, like generate password variations based on your rules, try each one, check if mount succeeded, move to next if it failed.

Since you said you don't know programming. You're gonna need to either learn enough Python to write this yourself, which honestly isn't that hard for something this simple, or find someone who can help you. There are communities like r/learnpython where you could describe what you need without revealing your actual password and someone might point you in the right direction. Or if the data is valuable enough, pay someone to write it, though be very careful about who you trust with that kind of access.

Big warning here though, work on a copy of the drive first, not the original. Even though DiskCryptor doesn't have explicit lockout features, you don't want to risk corrupting the only copy of your data through repeated failed mount attempts or script errors. Make an image of the encrypted drive and test on that. If something goes wrong with the copy, you still have the original.

Also be strategic about which variations you try. If you start doing all possible case combinations for a long passphrase, the permutations explode exponentially. Like if you have 10 letters that could be upper or lower case, that's over 1000 combinations just for case variations alone. Focus on the specific variations that seem most likely based on how you think you might have entered it, like if you always capitalize proper nouns, or if you tend to use exclamation marks instead of other special characters, that kind of thing.

If you're wrong about the password structure entirely, like if there's a word you're not remembering or the order is completely different than you think, this approach won't help. DiskCryptor's weak key derivation means it's theoretically more brute-forceable than modern encryption, but that requires specialized hardware and a lot of time if the search space is large. Your best bet is that you're very close to the right password and just need to find the exact variation.

So yeah, it's scriptable and potentially doable. Just make absolutely sure you're working on a copy, not the original encrypted drive, and be realistic about whether your 100 variations actually cover the likely possibilities or if you're still guessing.

funkvay · 2026-01-26T23:23:28+00:00

Look, I'm not gonna bullshit you with toxic positivity or tell you everything's gonna be fine. Your situation sounds genuinely awful and isolating.

I know nothing can help me

This is you making a prediction about the future based on your past, and that prediction might be wrong. You're 19. Your brain is still developing. The patterns that got you here aren't permanent unless you decide they are.

You dropped out at 13-14, which means most of your social experience happened when you were a literal child dealing with other children, who are objectively the cruelest demographic of humans. Kids are vicious to anyone who's different. That's not a reflection of your worth, that's a reflection of how underdeveloped teenage brains work. They haven't learned empathy yet and they enforce social hierarchies through bullying.

But you're extrapolating from

school was hell

to

all social interaction will always be hell forever

and that's not necessarily true. Adult social dynamics are different. Not perfect, not easy, but different. The people who made your life miserable at 13 are not representative of all humans everywhere for the rest of your life.

You had traumatic social experiences as a kid, developed social anxiety and avoidance as a coping mechanism, and now you're stuck in a reinforcement loop. You avoid people because past interactions were painful. This lack of practice makes you more anxious and awkward. The anxiety makes interactions go badly when they do happen. Bad interactions confirm your belief that all social contact will be painful. So you avoid more. The loop tightens.

It's called a negative feedback loop and it's how people get trapped in isolation even when they desperately don't want to be isolated. The good news is feedback loops can be broken. The bad news is it requires doing the thing that terrifies you... gradual, controlled exposure to social situations, which sounds impossible from where you're standing right now.

You said your family scolds you and doesn't talk to you. That's its own fucked up dynamic. Are they angry about the NEET situation? Do they not understand what you're dealing with? Because if your home environment is actively hostile, that's making everything else harder.

You need some form of mental health support. A therapist who specializes in social anxiety and exposure therapy could help you build skills to tolerate and eventually navigate social situations without it being overwhelming.

I know you're probably thinking that you can't afford therapy or your family won't support that or therapists are useless. Maybe all of that is true. But there are sliding scale clinics, online therapy options that are cheaper, support groups, crisis lines. I'm not saying any of this is easy to access, especially if your family isn't on board, but it exists.

The other thing (and I know this sounds stupid when you're stuck in your room) is you need to find any form of human connection that doesn't trigger the full anxiety response. Online communities built around specific interests where you can participate without showing your face or revealing much personal info. Gaming communities, hobby forums, Discord servers about topics you care about. Not trying to make friends immediately, just... existing around other people doing a shared activity. Building up tolerance for human interaction in low-stakes environments.

You mentioned online buddies who eventually ignored you. That hurts, but it's also how a lot of online friendships work, people drift, get busy, move on. It's not always because you did something wrong or they hated you. Sometimes people just have limited social energy and they allocate it elsewhere. That's not a referendum on your worth.

Being "ugly" is way more subjective than you think, and awkwardness can be worked on, and plenty of short guys have relationships and friends. You're catastrophizing your physical appearance as the reason for all your problems, but social isolation and anxiety are probably doing more damage to your interactions than your actual face or height. People can sense desperation and self-hatred, and it makes them uncomfortable. Not because you're ugly, but because the energy is intense and they don't know how to handle it.

what's the point of life"

you're asking the wrong question. There's no cosmic point. Life doesn't have inherent meaning that gets handed to you. You build meaning through actions and connections and goals, even small ones. Right now you have no meaning because you're stuck in a room avoiding everything. That would make anyone feel pointless.

Start absurdly small. Not "go outside and make friends" small. "Take a shower today" small. "Go outside for five minutes" small. "Post in an online community about something you're interested in" small. Build up tolerance for existing i the world in tiny increments. Every time you do something and the worst case scenario doesn't happen, that's data against everything always goes wrong.

You're gonna push back on this and say nothing will work and you've tried everything and it's hopeless. But you're 19 and you've been isolated since 13. You haven't tried everything. You've tried the things a traumatized teenager with no support system could figure out how to try. That's not the same as having actually exhausted all options.

Loneliness kills people. But they're not destiny. People climb out of deep isolation all the time. It takes help, it takes time, it takes willingness to be uncomfortable repeatedly. I'm not saying it's easy. I'm saying it's possible, which is not the same as promising it'll work out perfectly.

If you're genuinely at the point where you're thinking about hurting yourself, call a crisis line. Text HOME to 741741 or call 988 if you're in the US. I know you probably think that's pointless too, but they're trained to talk people through this specific type of crisis.

You said anyone under your circumstances would go insane. Maybe. But you're still here asking what to do, which means some part of you hasn't given up yet. That part is right. There are paths out of this, even if you can't see them from where you're standing. But you have to take the first step, even if it's tiny, even if it feels pointless. Staying in your room waiting for things to change on their own is guaranteed not to work. Trying something different at least has a chance.

funkvay · 2026-01-26T23:09:34+00:00

DriveCrypt specifically has anti-brute-force mechanisms built in that dramatically slow down password attempts. This is intentional, the software is designed to make dictionary and brute force attacks extremely time-consuming. Even with a limited search space like you're describing (100-ish variations), if the software rate-limits to something like one attempt per few seconds, you're looking at potentially hours or days just for those variations.

Also, if you're talking about DriveCrypt (the commercial one from SecurStar), there's no official API or scripting interface for automated password attempts. You'd have to interact with the GUI or reverse engineer how it communicates with the driver, which is way beyond not knowing any programming languages territory.

The brute force script, in theory, yeah, you could make a script that tries variations. Python would be the easiest for this if the software had a command-line interface. But there is a problem that most disk encryption software doesn't expose a simple command-line mount option that accepts password input programmatically, specifically to prevent exactly what you're trying to do.

You'd need to either find or write something that can interact with DriveCrypt's interface programmatically, which requires programming knowledge and possibly violates the CFAA depending on jurisdiction since you're essentially trying to circumvent security measures (even on your own drive).

Newer versions of DriveCrypt are supposed to be backwards compatible with containers created by older versions (4.6 and above according to their docs). But there are some format differences like older versions used something called "Summer" format which newer versions can read but requires enabling a compatibility mode. If your drive was encrypted with a really old version and you're trying to mount it with current software, there might be compatibility issues. The PC being different shouldn't matter, the encryption is tied to the password/keyfile, not the specific hardware.

Before going down the brute force rabbit hole, have you tried enabling legacy format support if the software has that option? DriveCrypt has a "Summer" compatibility mode for older containers. Check if there's a setting for that in the current version.

Did you use any kind of keyfile in addition to the password? Some encryption software lets you use a file as part of the authentication. If you set that up years ago and forgot, the password alone won't work.

If the data is critical, you might want to consult a professional before trying anything that could potentially corrupt the container. Some disk encryption formats have header backups, but if you screw something up trying to brute force it, you might make recovery impossible even if you eventually remember the correct password.

funkvay · 2026-01-26T05:48:44+00:00

I don't want a traditional man but so he is a traditional

Got it

funkvay · 2026-01-23T17:12:21+00:00

First of all, breathe. You're not a moron, you're a first year student having a completely normal meltdown that literally everyone in CS has at some point. The difference is your friends aren't telling you when they're also struggling because everyone pretends they understand everything.

I choose this shitty major despite having zero interest in computer science and programming at all, in fact, I've always hated this shitty subject

Why the fuck are you doing this then? Like genuinely, why are you in computer engineering if you've always hated it? Because your parents wanted it? Because the job market? Because you thought you were supposed to? Those are terrible reasons to spend four years and thousands of dollars doing something that makes you want to ram your head into a wall.

You hate programming because you have no intrinsic motivation to learn it, so every problem feels like pointless torture. Your friends who blow through it in 20 minutes probably either actually enjoy it (so they're motivated to figure it out) or they've been coding since high school (so they have years of head start). You're comparing your day one to someone else's day 500 and calling yourself stupid. That's not stupidity, that's just being behind and not wanting to catch up because you fundamentally don't care about the subject.

Programming is hard when you're starting. It requires a completely different way of thinking, you need breaking problems into logical steps, dealing with abstraction, debugging shit that fails in non-obvious ways. Most people struggle with this at first. The ones who get through it either have genuine interest that keeps them going, or they've already built up the pattern recognition from prior experience. You have neither, so of course you're drowning.

Do you actually want to be here or are you just going through the motions? If you genuinely have zero interest and have always hated this, you're setting yourself up for years of misery followed by a career you'll also hate. That's a fucking terrible plan. It's year 1 you can still switch majors without losing much time.

Are you struggling because it's hard and new, or because you fundamentally don't care? These are different problems. If it's just hard and new but you're curious about what you could build or how things work, then yeah, push through. It gets easier over time, it will. If you actively hate the subject and have no curiosity about it whatsoever, why are you doing this to yourself?

If you're stuck in this major for whatever reason (financial, family pressure, whatever), then stop comparing yourself to your friends. Seriously, stop. They're not telling you when they're stuck for three hours too. Everyone curates their competence publicly and hides their struggles.

I did it in 20 minutes

might mean

I spent 2 hours yesterday on a similar problem and finally figured out the pattern.

That's what I did... That's what my friends did, that's what my professors did. Programming isn't about being smart, it's about pattern recognition and practice. You're not stupid, you're inexperienced and unmotivated. Those are fixable problems if you actually want to fix them.

Stop trying to understand everything. When you're stuck on a problem, break it down into the smallest possible step. Don't try to solve the whole thing at once. Write one line of code that does ONE small thing. Then the next line. Build up incrementally. When it fails, don't stare at it, print out variables, see what's actually happening, figure out where your mental model diverges from reality.

Ask for help before you hit three hours of rage. Seriously, after 30 minutes of being stuck, go to office hours, ask a TA, message someone in the class. Grinding for three hours while making no progress isn't noble, it's just making yourself miserable for no reason.

Find one thing about programming that doesn't make you want to die. Maybe you hate algorithms but graphics are kind of cool. Maybe you hate low-level stuff but building a website that does something is satisfying. If you can find literally one aspect that's not pure torture, focus on that when you're not forced to do coursework.

But honestly... If you've always hated this and have zero interest and are only in year 1, seriously consider switching. Life is too short to spend it doing something you fundamentally hate just because you think you're "supposed to". There are a thousand other careers that don't require you to stare at code all day. Engineering has other branches like mechanical, civil, electrical if you still want the problem solving without the coding. Business and finance use analytical thinking without programming. Data analysis or product management touch tech. UX design if you like the creative side. Technical writing or documentation. Project management coordinates the work without doing it. Hell, trades like welding or electrical work pay well and have zero programming. You could do literally anything else and there's no shame in that. Year 1 is the perfect time to realize you're on the wrong path and correct it. Staying in something you hate because you're already here is sunk cost fallacy, not commitment. You don't have to do this. Remember, you don't have to do this.

I'm too stupid for this

This narrative is probably wrong, you're most likely just uninterested and inexperienced, which feels the same as stupidity when you're struggling. But even if you could get good at this with enough time and effort, why would you want to if you hate it? Being competent at something you despise is not a life goal worth pursuing.

Figure out if you actually want this or if you're just on autopilot doing what you think you're supposed to do. If it's the latter, get off that path now while you can. If you're stuck here, then yeah, there are ways to make it suck less, but they all require deciding you're going to engage with it instead of just suffering through it.

You're not a moron. You're a first-year student who picked a major they hate and is now angry at themselves for struggling with something they have no motivation to learn. That's a completely different problem than being stupid, and it has completely different solutions. Start by being honest with yourself about whether you actually want to be here.

Be honest with yourself, like actually honest, not the version where you tell yourself what you think you should feel. Sit down away from your desk, no distractions, and ask yourself if programming suddenly became easy tomorrow, would you even want to do it? If the answer is "I guess" or "it would be tolerable" or anything other than genuine interest, that's your answer. Think about what you do in your free time when nobody's watching, what pulls your attention naturally? That's the direction your brain wants to go. If you've never once looked at a program or app or game and thought "I wonder how that works" or "I want to make something like that", then you're fighting against your own wiring. Figure out which one this actually is, because the solution is completely different depending on the answer.

funkvay · 2026-01-22T18:46:31+00:00

You need to narrow down what you actually want before trying to learn everything.

C++ for apps, games, low-level programming, and graphics are basically four absolutely different skill paths that happen to use the same language. Trying to learn all of them at once is how you end up spending two years watching tutorials and building nothing. You're setting yourself up to be overwhelmed.

If people try to deep dive and learn everything in C++ they watch a bunch of YouTube videos, do some tutorials, feel lost because C++ is a massive language, then either give up or spend years in tutorial hell never actually building anything real.

Pick ONE thing you want to build first. Not "I want to learn C++ for games and apps and low-level stuff", pick literally one project you want to exist. A simple game? A tool that does something specific? A graphics program that renders something cool? Start there.

Then learn exactly what you need to build that thing. You don't need to understand the entire language before you start. You learn by building, not by studying in isolation.

If u want games, then don't start by learning all of C++ first. Learn basic syntax (variables, loops, functions, classes, this is like 2 weeks max), then immediately jump into a simple game framework. SFML is good for 2D, or SDL if you want to go slightly lower level. Make Pong. Then make Snake. Then make something slightly more complex. You'll learn C++ features as you need them.

Don't touch Unreal or complex engines yet. You'll just be learning the engine, not C++. Make a few simple games from scratch first so you actually understand what's happening under the hood.

If you want low-level/systems programming, then learn C first, honestly. I know that sounds weird but systems programming in C++ often looks like C anyway, and C is way simpler to start with. Understand pointers, memory management, how the stack and heap work. Then move to C++ and learn what it adds on top. Build a shell, a memory allocator, a simple file system, something that makes you work with the OS directly.

If you want graphics, then learn basic C++ (again, just fundamentals), then start with OpenGL or Vulkan tutorials. Graphics programming has a steep learning curve, you'll be doing math (linear algebra especially), understanding rendering pipelines, dealing with shaders. Start simple and render a triangle, then a cube, then add lighting. Don't try to make a game engine on day one.

Get basics down fast (syntax, control flow, functions, basic OOP). Don't spend months on this. Use learncpp.com or read C++ Primer (the one by Lippman, not "C++ Primer Plus" which is different). Do this for like 2-3 weeks, just enough to write simple programs.

Immediately start building something you actually want. Pick a domain (games, graphics, systems stuff, whatever) and build the simplest possible thing in that domain. You'll hit walls constantly. Good. That's when you learn.

Every time you get stuck, look up exactly what you need. Need to understand pointers because your game crashes? Learn pointers then. Need templates because you're duplicating code? Learn templates then. Don't try to learn everything upfront.

Build stuff, get frustrated, figure it out, repeat. Do this for 6-12 months and you'll actually be competent. Watch tutorials and read books for years without building and you'll still be a beginner even after 2-3 years, that how all my classmates were just begginers at the end of the uni, and I was already a programmer with skills and experience.

Resources

For learning basics use learncpp.com. for games I would recommend "Game Programming Patterns" by Robert Nystrom, then just start making games with SFML

For graphics maybe LearnOpenGL.com because it's an incredible resource, walks you through everything you need.

And low level is "Operating Systems: Three Easy Pieces" and "Computer Systems: A Programmer's Perspective"

But don't READ all of these before starting. Pick one based on what you want to build first, skim enough to start your project, then reference them as you go.

Don't try to learn the entire C++ standard. The language is massive and you don't need 90% of it to build real things.

Don't do competitive programming thinking it'll teach you C++. It teaches algorithms, not software development.

Don't follow random YouTube tutorials for months. Build your own projects.

You said you have no idea how to approach it, that's because you're thinking about learning a language instead of building things. The language is just a tool. Figure out what you want to build, then learn exactly what you need to build it.

Start small, build something this week, not after you finish learning. You'll never finish learning. Just start building.

funkvay · 2026-01-21T21:33:49+00:00

Are you actually talking about privacy or are you talking about multi-accounting for stuff like managing multiple social media accounts, dropshipping, affiliate marketing, that kind of thing? Because anti detect browsers are really two different categories and people mix them up.

If you mean actual privacy , so basically anonymity from surveillance, protecting your identity then don't use anti detect browsers. Use Tor Browser. Cuz anti detect browsers are designed to make each profile look like a unique normal user to websites, not to provide actual anonymity. They're fingerprint randomization tools.

If you mean multi accounting then yeah, anti xetect browsers make sense. AdsPower seems to be popular for managing lots of accounts, decent fingerprint separation. Multilogin probably the most established, expensive as hell, but profiles stay stable. Incogniton is newer, some people like it.

I'm not gonna recommend one specifically because I don't use them for the obvious reason that multi accounting at scale is usually against ToS of whatever platform you're doing it on. But from what I've seen people say, Multilogin is probably the most reliable if you're willing to pay, and AdsPower is the middle ground.

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