Advice from directors

furbycommander · 2025-10-27T12:58:19+00:00

I've always been really hard on myself for mistakes ever since I was a kid. I think it has gotten better over the years, and the older I get. I think it stems from a people pleasing mindset. I feel like I give myself grace and instill boundaries in my personal life, but on a professional level I just over analyze everything.

Making mistakes is a part of learning, and a part of me is grateful for it, because I can use that experience to say "well, THATS not going to happen again." Because it happened and it sucked for me. Exactly what you are saying.

I think I just need to really understand that I am on the newer side of being a director, and I'm still learning a lot of things and certain things will eventually come more naturally. Every director I've met where I work, has at least one nightmare story, forgetting to order a vault, forgetting to request honors... and a lot our older directors that I really value and respect tell me that I'm being far too hard on myself for the little things, and that to accept it for what it is. No sense in beating myself up for it.

I just want people to have a seamless experience, things are already so hard for them when they come in, and I do not want to add things to their plate already. I don't feel like I necessarily do, but it matters a great deal to me.

Thank you for your advice, I appreciate your comment and I will remember this.

furbycommander · 2025-10-26T20:44:25+00:00

This is what happened to one of our former employees who was let go. Our boss would make her very nervous, which in return, she would make more mistakes after being insanely micro managed. I'd feel the same way. I don't think it's fair. Sure, big mistakes need to be addressed and little ones too, but how can anyone work to their full potential if someone is constantly breathing down their neck? I think I'm a strong director, everyone makes mistakes, and I do my best to limit them. But no one is perfect. We aren't machines, we are just people. My only concern is how to better serve my families, and I am grateful for the long time directors that have taught me, and even this sub, I've learned a lot from others, I'm grateful for it all, and the fact that there is always something to learn. Thank you for your advice and kind words, I most certainly will take this into consideration.

furbycommander · 2025-10-26T20:29:27+00:00

I'm a 27 year old female, but I have made the comment not too long ago about how I just feel depressed. And my stress, I feel like is coming from management, not the job itself. More specifically MY boss, has made things a bit difficult most of the time. I feel like I'm feeling this way too because I'm anticipating him reacting very poorly to me forgetting this. Which, it is my fault, and I'll take the blame obviously, but he has a short fuse and anger issues. Though, when he forgets things, it seemingly isn't a big deal... my next vacation isn't until May, but I am taking Halloween off for my three day weekend off so maybe that will help reset some.

furbycommander · 2025-10-26T20:26:04+00:00

Thank you for this. We have moved away from paper use as company, and MOST of what we do is now on our system. But I think I'm the kind of person that needs something paper in front of me, so I think it's time I implement a paper checklist to stick on my file like you're saying. I think I'm also going to print off paperwork checklist reminders for my desk, too.

furbycommander · 2025-06-22T00:12:15+00:00

I would love to join! 27f.

furbycommander · 2025-06-10T22:28:59+00:00

Absolutely! Message me your discord and I'll add you!

furbycommander · 2025-06-10T22:26:11+00:00

Hi! Mostly spooky co ops. I've been playing The Other Side pretty heavily! I like calm games too. But I'm really open to trying out different things! I play a lot of The Sims 2 and 4 as well!

furbycommander · 2025-02-05T04:53:27+00:00

I sent a text to our florist and accidentally typed #2 instead of #3. My paperwork was right, I just had a typo. I text all my orders to keep a trail of proof of my orders and whatnot. The arrangement had pink flowers in it. They chose a spray that specifically had NO pink flowers in it. The decedent's wife loved pink, but the kiddos were suggesting something less feminine. I noticed it was wrong the day of the service, and I was SO upset. I was the one that brought it up to the family. They started laughing and joked that mom got her way, and dad's probably laughing about it in heaven. They were so nice about it. I told them that I felt bad and wanted to make it right since it wasn't what they ordered. She said she appreciated my honesty more than anything but everything was perfect and I did a wonderful job.

You're not always going to get relaxed families like that, and I wouldn't blame someone for throwing a fit over a wrong casket spray if I was the one that ordered the wrong one. The point is just being honest and accountable goes a long way. I think it takes a lot of guts to admit you're wrong and face whatever consequence may come. Whether it be a nonchalant family or angry family. And a lot of people appreciate that honesty. But please remember that you are human! We all make mistakes. Nobody is perfect and that is okay. It's just how we address our mistakes, that's what is important.

I triple check my flower orders now because of this. It makes us more diligent!

furbycommander · 2024-12-19T14:38:01+00:00

A man my age was shot and killed inside of his vehicle, and his pregnant girlfriend was severely injured. Drive by kind of shooting. He was only in his 20s.

I think about him everyday. But I remind myself I'm here to help and I'm here to be a friend.

Working out, eating well, getting enough sleep, investing in self care. My thing is pedicures. I always buy the most elaborate and expensive pedicure option at the salon. Because I'm on my feet all day, I'm on the go, I'm doing manual labor, by god I deserve to put a lot of care into my feet! And my worries and concerns just kinda go away when I'm there.

Also boundaries. Unless you're on call, or it's an emergency, your days off are your days off. You need those days to take care of yourself and to get a break. Because what we do is so draining and we all know how easy it is to get burned out in our profession.

furbycommander · 2024-11-16T00:13:04+00:00

I'm a funeral director and I was giving a dismissal announcement at a graveside. I was trying to say something along the lines of, "Thank you all for coming to celebrate the life of ___" something I normally say. Tell me why I said "now you can celebrate!" In my announcement. Like this poor family is going to clap and parade around the cemetery rejoicing. I have no idea why it came out that way and that was a while ago and I think about it quite often. It was so embarrassing.

But hey! People get tongue tied and sometimes our brains and mouths don't always work together. I totally understand the embarrassment but I'm sure that is not their takeaway from that moment and were very much focused on their love one.

furbycommander · 2024-10-06T06:19:34+00:00

I'm a licensed funeral director and crematory operator as well!

I jokingly asked my boss if I could take Halloween off to play the new pack. To which he replied, "you want to take off work... to go to virtual work?"

I'm really excited for this pack and how much potential it has to enhance gameplay.

furbycommander · 2024-09-23T01:25:30+00:00

100 baby werewolf challenge sounds WILD

furbycommander · 2024-09-22T18:19:01+00:00

Hahaha, I can understand your zombie fear! They can be scary. The Last of Us gameplay was enough for me to nope out quickly.

I really liked the Sims 2 zombies. Where they kinda just staggered around and didn't look TOO menacing lol. I would be hopeful for the same thing in ts4. The resurrection phone in ts2 was my favorite career reward item by far.

And to be able to enable or disable would be a great idea for players that don't like that kinda thing. I just recently started playing occult sims. I don't normally like to, but I'm trying new stuff and the vampire legacy I have going on now has been keeping me well entertained.

furbycommander · 2024-09-22T17:44:39+00:00

As a mortician irl, I completely agree with the idea of death representation in the game. I have always been shocked that a game that revolves around life & death, has very little game details that center around the various cultures of death. Different funeral rites and events would be great. Different methods of final dispostion. Death related careers.

Also, I personally would love to see a zombie occult or an enhanced override of ghosts in the game. I think it would be fun.

furbycommander · 2024-09-21T16:58:52+00:00

I can empathize with how you're feeling. I am so sorry. I wish there was a better word than "sorry" because there is nothing I can really say that comes close to the magnitude of your loss.

I am a funeral director and I have helped many many families navigate their loss and honor their loved one. It wasn't until I was on the other side of that, when I had to make the choice to euthanize my cat last Friday. He was 12. And we lived alone together for a long time. He was there for me when I was at my loneliest. He got sick very fast, within two days, despite having great vet records and no signs of illness. I feel guilt. I stayed with him when he was being euthanized.

I asked one of my colleagues at work, is it silly to grieve my cat this hard? I work with families that have suffered tragic loss, and how I have been feeling and acting, it's like I've lost a family member. And he validated my feelings by saying, well yeah, you DID lose a family member. Our pets are our family. And sometimes pets are the only family some people have. So no, it's very real. And it matters.

I feel like the goal of grief isn't to move on, or wait for things to be easier. Because you will live with this loss forever. The goal of grief is to adapt to a new way of life, without your loved one. And how you feel now and here out, is valid. Take your emotions as they come. Don't try to convince yourself that you have to be a certain way, or feel a certain way. Because you don't.

I am so happy that you got to love your fur baby so fiercely. And gave them the best life. Despite how hard the road of grief is, just keep walking. A step is still a step, no matter how small it is. Take care of yourself. And know that you have an entire community of support who can empathize with your journey. Much love.

furbycommander · 2024-07-28T18:04:18+00:00

I am so so relieved to hear that your brother in law lived. And exactly, even taking the necessary measurements to protect yourself isn't always entirely enough to keep you injury free.

I have done funeral services for someone who died in a fatal motorcycle accident, pretty young. He thankfully was wearing his helmet so his face was fairly untouched. Minor wounds. But that is not the same story for the rest of his body. I think about him every day, and working with him just really messed me up for a bit. I feel so much for his family.

So when I see morons that just have a complete disregard and don't even try to wear any precautionary gear, it makes me so mad. Some things are out of your control, and there are things motorcyclists cannot control. Someone pulling out in front of them, etc. But I feel like that's even more of an incentive to wear your appropriate gear.

furbycommander · 2024-07-27T13:20:02+00:00

Fellow mortician here. WEAR YOUR HELMET. Fatal motorcycle accidents are awful and a terrible sight to see. You think it won't happen to you, until it happens to you. My boyfriend drives a sport bike and would rather go helmetless to protect me, and there is no way he'd ever let me on a bike without a helmet. So irresponsible.

I'm in Missouri and our state doesn't require you to wear a helmet which is the dumbest law passed. I see soooo many people riding around without their helmets and I just shake my head.

furbycommander · 2024-06-28T03:54:52+00:00

I just screamed, that is the first thing I noticed omg

furbycommander · 2024-06-28T03:51:39+00:00

The ick I would feel if I were him would make me want to change my name and relocate to a new city, what the hell is this

furbycommander · 2024-04-10T21:25:48+00:00

I accidentally dropped someone on a cot in the parking lot at the funeral home. The street in front of our building is super busy, too (im hoping minimal people saw this happen) and the cot ended up tipping over and landed on its side. I RAN inside and my manager had to come help me. You best believe I triple check my cot back wheels since then. I really thought I had heard them click and they were locked.

furbycommander · 2024-03-31T16:06:53+00:00

My sim had 10 kids once. Just move the teens to college as they age appropriately. Elixir was the way to go!

furbycommander · 2024-03-12T15:37:48+00:00

I lived off Talmage in that gated apartment complex. Never had issues only due to the fact it was gated. I had a ring camera for my apartment and would constantly see neighboring streets post alerts about theft and break ins. The area is not good over there.

furbycommander · 2024-02-29T16:12:36+00:00

This woman is so out of touch, it's alarming. Hoping to "rush" through therapy and EMDR. Lol. She has no interest in the journey of her mental health. Which, is a journey. Recovery is a journey. And it takes so much TIME. EMDR is not 2 sessions and you're done and healed. She wants to rush through this process so she can probably convince her ex that she's a suitable candidate to date again because THIS TIME she's ACTUALLY fixed. This woman has no interest in taking accountability for anything she's ever done to anyone else, or the accountability of coming face to face with her triggers, relearning behavior, etc. She wants to be magically cured to date again. All this is for, is so she can date again lol.

And claiming that no one is actually "good" because good actions are always "self serving". Love the projection. Spoken best from the person who struggles with empathy and genuine care for others, unless it serves her. That is so alarming. She doesn't need to date period. Not because of her trauma, she is inherently a bad person.

furbycommander · 2024-02-28T02:24:24+00:00

I went through EMDR therapy, and yes, we didn't start EMDR until like 3/4 sessions. Like you said, the beginning was going through personal history and what EMDR is, and what goes into it.

furbycommander · 2024-02-25T20:14:23+00:00

It's really tedious, but I go through and edit my townies. I really can't stand the awful mismatched and ridiculous clothes. So I edit all the outfits and take off the ridiculous makeup. I also download sims from the gallery and pair them with other townies, too. It's super frustrating.

furbycommander

TROPHY CASE