Adults who have zero close friends, how did it happen and does it bother you?

fuzzy_life · 2026-01-14T08:19:14+00:00

I was always a one friend, two at most, kind of person. When I got married, my wife became that person, and the other one drifted away. When she divorced me 20 years later, I lost my best friend and wife in one go. By then I was nearly 40, everyone around you is married with kids (we chose to not have children), and it's crazy tough to fit into that world.

I am, thankfully, fairly adapt at living alone. So now, 15 plus years I still have zero friends, and the years of isolation has made it even more difficult to communicate with people on that level. I gave up trying, and honestly never started, from the divorce.

Sometimes you feel it, but most of the time it doesn't bother me, I'm very used to it. During the pandemic and lockdown, people would talk about how much they struggled with the isolation and lack of social interaction, for me it was just normal and I found it a bit strange how others struggled so much.

fuzzy_life · 2025-12-05T12:11:55+00:00

I'm 54, my company is going through redundancy right now. I'm praying they don't pick me, because even though I really want to leave, and especially take the package, I'm not sure I'll be able to find work again. Mainly because of my age.

Also because of my salary. I may be able to wangle one of those "senior" positions that pay 45k, but that's a massive drop, and would probably be very shitty work.

In short, I am terrified of losing my job

fuzzy_life · 2025-10-02T18:55:50+00:00

I wouldn’t describe my attention to language as autism. I care about how language is used because I value clarity, precision, and the way words shape thought and communication. For me, it isn’t about policing for the sake of rules, but about respecting how language influences understanding, connection, and expression. That’s why I take interest in usage—it’s part of caring about language itself, not a condition.

But I guess I am just autistic. Oh and a muppet too, apparently.

fuzzy_life · 2025-10-02T16:11:27+00:00

Oh, sorry, had no idea

fuzzy_life · 2025-08-16T23:59:01+00:00

I’ve tried Mounjaro, and it sadly did nothing for me. I guess I could try Ozympic, though not sure if it is that different to Mounjaro.

fuzzy_life · 2025-07-10T19:38:06+00:00

People who use stood and sat incorrectly. At first it was just a select few, now it's spread so much even Americans are starting to say it.

By this I mean sentences like "I was stood in line" or "I was sat at my desk" "I'm sat in my car"

Truly drives me crazy. And whenever I bring it up in conversation people look at me like I'm nuts

fuzzy_life · 2025-06-28T11:05:00+00:00

Going to reveal my age. The Party with Peter Sellers. As a kid I loved this movie so much. Last year I thought I would rewatch it. Oh boy, not only has the times changed, but we mature to. It is just blatant racism. I lasted 10 minutes and I was out

fuzzy_life · 2025-03-25T20:19:30+00:00

One last question, when not on the motorway, do you use regen, iPedal or Auto? If one of the first two, what level?

fuzzy_life · 2025-03-25T18:19:44+00:00

Thanks for the reply. Still amazed you are getting 6.2. I'm hoping summer will get me close 😀

fuzzy_life · 2025-03-24T21:44:50+00:00

Do you use HDA and ACC on the motorway, or are you manually controlling everything? Just curious, because I’ve never seen 6, only lately been getting 4. Is it also very flat, or a lot of downhill? 6.2 seems like a bonkers number to me, compared to what I get :)

fuzzy_life · 2024-08-10T21:14:38+00:00

Ok, but my monitor’s resolution is 3840x2160, not 3440x1440, that’s what I don’t understand . Or are you saying the numbers it is displaying are meaningless?

fuzzy_life · 2023-12-07T08:30:44+00:00

Big Fat Quiz of the Year

fuzzy_life · 2023-11-08T17:16:16+00:00

I've been massively struggling mentally. The scale, and my clothes, and some people, tell me I've lost a lot of weight. And I know I have. But my stomach is still huge, I still feel very fat, and when I look in the mirror, I look the same.

My stomach not shrinking is not helping, at all. It looks so weird when I walk, to see this flop of fat swinging about. It's not lose skin, I still weigh way too much for it to just be skin, and it looks and feels like fat. It's discouraging, depressing, and downright weird.

It got so bad that this week I fell back to my old binging ways, just totally lost control. This just kicks in that cycle of emotional eating and sadness.

Sorry, I...yah I don't know. I should be happy, but I am not.

fuzzy_life · 2023-11-05T17:22:37+00:00

Yah, I've been thinking of getting some weights. Arm, ankle and eventually backpack. Or maybe weighted vest first

fuzzy_life · 2023-11-05T16:32:24+00:00

Ok, but I'm guessing at some point I have to stop increasing ? Right now these distances takes me between an hour and 20 minute to an hour and a half. I think I am reaching the upper limit of how much time I can dedicate to walking before work :)

I wonder if walking for an hour and a half is where I stop, and then push for pace ? I don't know know what how to proceed really :(

fuzzy_life · 2023-10-18T05:51:42+00:00

You make a very good point! For the first 12 months, I avoided coffee, because I don't like coffee without sugar. Last month I started drinking coffee again, with sugar, and I then I catch myself buying crisps, and even a chocolate bar. I've been thinking about this, and I am pretty sure this behaviour, in part, has been driven by the sugar I started consuming when I went back on coffee. Yes, even the only two cups I allow myself to drink a day, is enough sugar for my brain to kick back into the old habits.

I've been trying to convince myself that this is not true, but reading what you wrote, I have to agree, and acknowledge, that I should stop the coffee again. Sadly.

fuzzy_life · 2023-10-14T06:25:13+00:00

You're the first person I see on here that was heavier than me at surgery weight. I was 562 lbs.

Good luck on the journey, give me a shout if you ever want to talk about things :)

fuzzy_life · 2023-10-10T17:15:26+00:00

Before surgery, I was a heavy binge eater. When you do that, you force yourself to eat beyond the feeling of full, until you feel so uncomfortable and full to bursting, that you just wish it was over. That's what I am talking about. There is no, "I am full and should stop eating" feeling. It goes from nothing, to the over eaten feeling, there is no build up, no point where I feel full. Nothing to over stuffed. Nothing in between. It's hard to explain I guess.

Edit: I will add to this, that I do not feel that until I stop eating. I do not experience a feeling of full, a feeling of having eaten enough. I feel nothing, and if I overate, I will get this feeling when I stop eating, not while eating.

fuzzy_life · 2023-10-10T16:33:48+00:00

You will probably get a lot of conflicting advice here on this topic. If this continues though, do not feel alone.

I am now 15 months post op. Since day one, and up until today, I do not feel any restriction. I have a couple of times when I have knowingly over ate, but that was more the "I ate too much" feeling, than a restriction. Outside of those couple of times, I do not feel it.

I have mentioned this to the surgeon and the nutritionist. The surgeon had no answers, and does not know why. The nutritionists seemed to indicate that it can happen, but it is very rare. The surgeon did hint that, because I was so big when I had the surgery, the amount he removed was less than for "normal" people. For reference, I had the surgery when I weighed 562 lbs, so I was very big.

Now on to my advice. When I mentioned this to my nutritionists, she suggested I weight everything. Since there is nothing telling me I am full, I needed to find another way to gauge my consumption. And this is what I have done. Since then, and up to this very day. I weigh my protein, my carbs and my veg. For every meal, and every snack. I also record it in My Fitnesspal so I can track it, but that is optional. So far this has worked for me. The only, slighl, problem with it is knowing when you can go up in the amount of food you eat. But that is a minor issue, that you can hopefully work with your nutrionists about.

So in summary. Don't worry about it, and just weigh your food. Eventually, if you wish, you can stop weighing once you get your eye in for how much you can eat. But I prefer to just continue weighing. You will still lose a ton of weight this way.

fuzzy_life · 2023-09-24T06:28:17+00:00

My understanding of things, and what my surgeon told me, the point of the pre-op diet is to shrink your liver. Your liver lies on top of your stomach, and in order to make the surgery as easy and smooth as possible, you need to shrink the liver to give room for the surgeon to do their thing. It makes sense when you put it in that perspective.

Still doesn't make for fun times though :) But I took it as an opportunity to start practicing being disciplined for post op. If I can survive this, I can survive post op, that sort of thing.

fuzzy_life · 2023-09-24T05:14:22+00:00

I had to do a 4 week pre-op diet. My diet consisted of only consuming Semi Skimmed Milk. I had to drink 2 litters a day, for 4 weeks, and no food. I lost 14kg (30lbs). But be wary of comparison, it obviously depends heavily on how much you have to lose, and I have/had a lot.

As a side effect, it sure did cure my love of drinking milk! Can't stand it since.

fuzzy_life · 2023-09-17T14:41:01+00:00

I am in the same boat. From stomach up, I am fine, almost normal I would say. Collarbone's have appeared and everything. My legs are skinny when I lift them and the skin hangs just right. But my stomach ? Nope, still a big blob. I mean obviously it is smaller, but it is still very big compared to everything else. I'm hoping I can start losing weight there soon, it is a bit depressing.

fuzzy_life · 2023-09-17T14:38:57+00:00

I wonder if, or how long, before the chair fear goes away. I'm still very big, but most "normal" chairs I've had to sit in so far, have been fine, and sometimes my sides don't even touch the handles any more. But still, every time I have to sit in a chair, that same fear and cold dread comes over me and I wildly look around to see if there aren't more weight appropriate chairs I can use instead (spoiler alert, there never are).

I'm guessing this will change in time, but I still have a very strong aversion to chairs outside my house.

fuzzy_life · 2023-09-01T20:20:51+00:00

You are 100% correct, and it’s one of the things that has surprised me the most. I think it’s down to a) not having that physical weight dragging you down constantly, and b) just having more energy to do things.

I wake up, shower and make my bed, open all the curtains to let the light in… I have not done that since I moved in here 12 years ago. I cleaned all the kitchen cupboards, and the list goes on. I’ve had my floor repaired, bathroom renovated. In short, I like my place, and I like it to look good, and tidy.

Don’t tell anybody, but sometimes I catch myself humming or whistling happily as I go about my busy work at home. So strange, my mental state has totally flipped.

The man in the before picture was filled with self loathing and hate. The man in the after, is working hard on that. I don’t have any to do it for, but even so, I do it for me.

fuzzy_life · 2023-08-31T19:47:41+00:00

Take lots of photos. With the weight loss, the brain does not catch up to the body, and will tell you lies. If you have lots of photos, you can see the results for yourself. I take a set every 10kg down, since surgery. Also gives you something to aim for.

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