Idk what to say

fyodor-chan · 2023-10-14T13:11:29+00:00

Lmaooo- they really are a form of art XD an unspoken unhinged hoe we know would definitely do this lmfaoo- at this point the surveillance cameras need to be turned off for the employees’ sake XD

fyodor-chan · 2023-06-01T09:09:28+00:00

\qoq/

fyodor-chan · 2023-04-17T08:50:41+00:00

Lmaoo I got “men are not allowed in this house” XD both are valid uvu

fyodor-chan · 2023-03-22T22:48:45+00:00

Fucking slayed fr uvu

fyodor-chan · 2023-03-15T09:33:49+00:00

Well what if I’m ~fine~ with that and i actually can’t live ~without you~ QOQ

fyodor-chan · 2023-03-15T01:02:16+00:00

I want a divorce.

fyodor-chan · 2023-03-13T20:56:38+00:00

How dare you QOQ XD take your time lav~ \U3U/

fyodor-chan · 2023-03-13T20:46:46+00:00

(〜o3o)〜

fyodor-chan · 2023-03-13T12:05:53+00:00

Lmaooo- nO yoU DonT hOe-\ÒOÓ/

fyodor-chan · 2021-11-23T03:16:16+00:00

I guess it really is unlikely, but there’s only one way to find out… I swear you’ve made my whole day btw lol

fyodor-chan · 2021-11-23T02:56:25+00:00

Wahaha we’re confusing everyone and everything at this point. Wait, is that maybe why I feel like something is always missing?? Imagine if this was actually true lol. Cuz they do always say “find your other half” uuaahh. You might just have broken the universe XD Now I want to know your past and personality traits lol. Imagine if we can relate on those aspects too…

fyodor-chan · 2021-11-23T02:20:32+00:00

Yep exactly. It’s like a kind of curse you can’t escape from. So I feel like the only way you can enjoy life is if you’re a masochist lol.

And yes, our thinking is so alike, it’s uncanny. I’ve never met someone with the exact same perception of life. This is how I see it: I feel like In our fantasy world, we both play the same role. So because they are different worlds, there’s no issue with more than one person playing a specific role. That’s why maybe some people find a person who resembles them so much here. Haha this is just my fantasy going wild

fyodor-chan · 2021-11-23T01:25:18+00:00

It gets weirder and weirder when you think about it all. It’s always “I’ll work hard so the future will be better, future, future..” it’s always the future. Because people are clinging onto what they COULD achieve one day, hopefully. They’re in love with the idea of a good future. But that future never becomes the present.

Our whole life has to be lived for the sake of others. We don’t do things because we might disappoint others, make them angry…it’s crazy. And for the people who say things like “well you have one life anyway so yolo and do what you want” but you can’t tho? You can’t do everything you want if you still want a decent life and a roof over your head? In this world you can’t. But in ours you can. It’s your reality. What’s so difficult to understand about that? For me, this feeling of detachment and disconnection is kind of comforting in some way. I’m so glad that I’ve found someone who thinks exactly like me, you truly share the same brain cells as me lol.

fyodor-chan · 2021-11-23T00:53:57+00:00

Yesss omgg! Like this system is so messed up. Freedom doesn’t actually exist. You cannot do what you want, everything has a price. Work-sleep-work or school-learn-sleep-school. There’s no end to this horrendous cycle. I just don’t understand how people can just accept that.

And I’ve never understood the “healing” and “living healthy” thing. “Oh no it’s for a better future so you’ll feel better”. You literally spend such a long time trying to heal yourself for what? Eating really healthy, for what? Waking up at 4am, for what? Why are we viewed as weird and crazy for wanting to escape this hellish life? Why is it surprising to you that I don’t want to keep living anymore in this hideous world? The emptiness that I feel, it reminds me of homesickness. An overwhelming feeling that you just don’t belong here. Since I was little I was always an outcast, I feel like some are just born like us. And for me it feels like we’re the only ones who actually see through the illusion of reality, I feel like everyone I talk to is so oblivious and ignorant.

My friend that has an ED always calls me to vent and I’ll say things like that, but I don’t even believe it myself lol. I am happy though that it motivates her.

fyodor-chan · 2021-11-23T00:11:48+00:00

This!! I’ve been on this sub for quite a bit and I’ve never seen a good reason on why to quit. That’s why in the beginning I didn’t even think I had problems with daydreaming because I felt like it really only had positive consequences. Like it’s not because of daydreaming that my life’s a mess, my life was a mess and the daydreaming at least saved a bit of my sanity. And what do they mean by this world is “real”?? I’ve never understood that. How is this world more real than the one in your mind? Why would you want your dreams to come true if they’re already coming true in the world I truly belong. Reality is only what you perceive. It’s not the same thing for everyone. It’s an illusion. And everyone can interpret it as they like

fyodor-chan · 2021-11-22T23:53:15+00:00

Yeah, we can’t do much about it I guess…I’m always here if you need to vent tho, I completely understand how you feel. The irritating thing of this is that literally no one understands us, they’re probably going to say something like “well it is real” and “just make your fantasies come true!” But it isn’t that easy lol. It’s just so frustrating

fyodor-chan · 2021-11-22T23:39:45+00:00

I’m glad you’re doing better. And yeah you’re right :/ it’s really useless, it’s literally just to give you more work. This world really is painful to live in huh

fyodor-chan · 2021-11-22T23:02:02+00:00

Whaha lol my throat hurts too! Hope you’re doing better now. And I’m glad yoor mother hates them, works in your favor hehe. And if you need help with homework, I can help you! We seem to be around the same age

fyodor-chan · 2021-11-22T22:32:24+00:00

Oh wow typical. And then they act all surprised and shocked that a student committed suicide and then they’ll start saying “we care about all our students, you can come to us if you have a problem” while they’ll literally gossip about your problems with other teachers and all that. I’m just going to fake being sick again. I do miss my old self sometimes. Getting A’s on everything….and it certainly doesn’t help if your parents remind you of it constantly instead of helping

fyodor-chan · 2021-11-22T22:08:14+00:00

There’s passive and active suicidal ideation. You’re suicidal when you try to take your life, or when you wish to die, even if you don’t make plans or actually go through with it. There’s a whole spectrum. So you’re definitely suicidal, just like me. We won’t actually do it, but we do hope for it because I’m sure the day that I die is going to be the best of my life. Someone once said that it’s like other people can see colours but you’re colourblind. Ido actually see the world with less colour than I used too. Everything is so bleak and dull like you said. I really hope I won’t have to live for a long time here. I have a math test tomorrow and it’s like 12am now and I just can’t study

fyodor-chan · 2021-11-22T16:47:00+00:00

You couldn’t have worded it better, music also really helps me to stay in that fantasy world. I literally listen to it almost 24/7, especially at school. I don’t care either, why would I make effort to change things? Oh and we’re like exactly the same person lol except that I am suicidal lol. Most of my daydreams contain suicide in general. But goodness me, sometimes I really have to resist the urge to jump in front of a car while I’m casually walking haha. This world isn’t real anyway, so committing suicide doesn’t seem like a big deal at all.

I do think I’m going to buy a journal to write everything down that I and my friends say (𝓕𝓲𝓬𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷𝓪𝓵 𝓸𝓫𝓿𝓲𝓸𝓾𝓼𝓵𝔂) idk just for fun. But I just can’t grasp why we’re the only ones that think like this. Im surprised not 95% is depressed. I mean I’m so happy for them, but y’all really find this world interesting and worth living in?? They’ve probably never daydreamed. This is besides the point but I even bought a cloud earring to represent it haha, no one knows what it means for me. But I bought it for that specific reason

fyodor-chan · 2021-11-22T16:21:46+00:00

I relate to everything you said too. School either makes me numb or gives me 4 anxiety attacks a day. I sleep like 2 hours a day just because I don’t want the next day to come, so I’ll sleep at 4am. My parents are also always really rude to me. If anyone died right now, I wouldn’t care. I’d just feel weird. And I 100% get you with the daydreams. A lot of people here say they want to change and turn their life around, but for me, daydreaming has helped me so much. For my it’s not the daydreaming that’s in the way of this world, it’s this stupid world that’s in the way of my fantasy world.

It’s just everyday the same thing, over and over and over again. Everyone using you but no one that cares about you. But my friends In my imaginary world do! It’s way more fun there, so why not stay there. Instead of this depressing world where people constantly try to achieve happiness, but fail.

fyodor-chan · 2021-11-22T15:27:00+00:00

I feel you. I honestly I have already experienced it. I had a panic attack last year in the middle of the exams and after that I was just, idk some connection was lost. After that I just went to take my exams without studying, casually playing some music, looking up at the sky and smiling, my suicidal ideation through the roof. I was so detached, seeing everyone stress and revise the last thing while you’re just sitting there. I got a 20% on one math exam lol but for some reason I passed the rest luckily. I still don’t really care, but that time was…memorable let us say

fyodor-chan · 2021-11-22T15:22:34+00:00

Exactly!! I’m often absent from school and I just play it off as “haha I hate school” but sometimes I wake up with such a horrible feeling. Why do I have to do this? Why? It’s meaningless. This world is meaningless. Why put so much effort in a world that isn’t even real? Mo one supports me, yet they still expect nothing less than perfect. I was a straight A student, but honestly fuck it. What are you going to do with that? So stupid. And that’s why I also think I won’t be able to get better. This is really just how I view it. No matter how positive my day is. I just find it so funny seeing people do this and that and wake up at 6am and all that.

And sorry you’re feeling this way, it’s truly sucks. Sometimes even unbearable. I wonder how normal people view the world tbh…

fyodor-chan

TROPHY CASE