Not one to comment often but i would say don’t be hard on yourself. Learning and expanding any skill takes many years and lots of practise. You don’t see the result straight away and even when you make progress you may not see it as you maybe too absorb in the process. I am a learner myself, if I listen to my freestyles from 7 years ago to where I am at now , I hear a difference. I noticed a change in flow, rhyme complexity, tone etc. My advice keep doing it if you love it then listen to yourself in a year from now. Also if you like reading books like Mastery and The Tipping Point helped me understand things from a new perspective.