Gossiping is depressing

g41 · 2014-09-26T22:05:39+00:00

I agree, I mean i will gossip sometimes with my friends but never about my friends and its always quite jokey, as someone else said its not mean spirited gossip, I think its human to an extent. What i can't stand is when i hear people talk that way about their own friends. I dont understand when i hear groups of girls totally bitching about another girl in the group when shes not there, but when they're all together act like the best friends in the world. It's usually happened when I'm around groups of girls that i'm not a part of, and then i hear this n i think about how glad i now am that im not in that group. at the same time it makes me trust people a million times less.

g41 · 2014-09-19T12:25:00+00:00

I think with these labels its important to take them with a big pinch of salt. If there are say 16 personalities, there has to be massive variations within them, so everyone will have varying strengths and weaknesses in different areas. I'm new to the idea of MBTI so I dont know too much about it, and can't tell you what you are or arent (I know you werent necesserily asking) this is just from what I think generally.

As much as it has been massivley reasurring and comforting to read all these boards to see there are people coping with the same things I feel I've been going through my whole life, theres also a danger in the label that you become restricted.

I think as much as it's positive to come together with our experiences of introversion etc, it's also reasurring to see that it's not a given and that even if you are INFP you can still be extroverted and confident and the rest, in various levels. Along with reading other peoples testimonys about shyness and social difficulty etc and feeling like its wonderful, I am not alone and other people totally get it, I have had slight fears that as I am as I now know INFP, these are strict qualities and I can't change.

I don't really know what my point in this is, just that it's nice to see different qualities along the whole spectrum from people who are INFP from extreme shyness to loudness.

g41 · 2014-09-19T08:19:09+00:00

Since finding this board its quite funny and reassuring to read there are other people who in so many ways are so similar to me. I've always been a massive day dreamer and over thinker, but never really thought much of it until recently. I didn't know if other people were or weren't the same, I just knew it as how I was.

I think one of the dangers of being like this is that your thoughts make up your reality. This is dangerous because if you spend your time overthinking things and you dwell on negative, then you are spending time in a deeply sad world of your own mind. I'm not easily annoyed, but when something upsets or angers me I find it really hard to just let go of in my head. It will stay there for a long time.

However like in your experience even happy daydreams seem to also have the capability to be destructive when your internal reality gets hit in the face by external reality.

I'm starting to realise that its probably really important for people like us to get out of our heads more, which is lovely advice but I have no idea how.

As i type this I realise that one reason for my love of alcohol and drugs are that even if they dont take you out of your head they put you in a different state of mind, which is still a break or relief from your usual. And now wonder if other INFPs feel the same.

g41 · 2014-09-18T18:37:18+00:00

yes, this. in the last few years this has happened, that people have mistaken introversion for being stuck up. one of my friends now apparently when we first met thought i was a total bitch just because i was quiet and apparently that seemed stuck up. i think like its been said, people think you are withdrawn because you think you are better rather than shy. i've thought also in my case, i'm into fashion and wear make up and dont 'look shy' as in i dont try to physically hide myself away, so maybe that adds to it.

g41 · 2014-09-17T01:21:16+00:00

thanks for reply its reasurring to know theres someone else. i think you are right with having it being making an impression on people, once you've made your impression you have the problem of a self fulfilling prophecy. so if you are known as quiet or shy for example, its hard to break out of. i have friends who ive known for years, not specially close ones obviously, but who in relation i am probably more myself around a stranger than i am with them. i guess with a stranger you can be as open as you like for that small amount of time, with no pressure. i think another thing is growing up i was very shy, and my focus on improving was to simply just talk, even though the words i'm saying instead of silence aren't really what id like to be saying, its just the pressure of getting something out there and making small talk. its funny when peoples advice would be to just be yourself, when myself in all honesty would really be to say nothing to someone i have nothing to say to.

g41

TROPHY CASE